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Redneck Valentine Poem

by Bubba Bubbason



With much luv to my cousin and soon-to-be wife, Darlene.





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Collards is green,

my dog's name is Blue

and I'm so lucky

to have a sweet thang like you.





Yore hair is like cornsilk

a-flapping in the breeze.

Softer than Blue's

and without all them fleas.





You move like the bass,

which excite me in May.

You ain't got no scales

but I luv you anyway.





Yo're as satisfy'n as okry

jist a-fry'n in the pan.

Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"

right out of the can.





You have some'a yore teeth,

for which I am proud;

I hold my head high

when we're in a crowd.





On special occasions,

when you shave under yore arms,

well, I'm in hawg heaven,

and awed by yore charms.





Still them fellers at work,

they all want to know,

what I did to deserve

such a purdy, young doe.





Like a good roll of duct tape

yo're there fer yore man,

to patch up life's troubles

and fix what you can.





Yo're as cute as a junebug

a-buzzin' overhead.

You ain't mean like those far ants

I found in my bed.





Cut from the best cloth

like a plaid flannel shirt,

you spark up my life

more than a fresh load of dirt.





When you hold me real tight

like a padded gunrack,

my life is complete;

Ain't nuttin' I lack.





Yore complexion, it's perfection,

like the best vinyl sidin'.

despite all the years,

yore age, it keeps hidin'.





Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie

with a RC cold drank,

we go together

like a skunk goes with stank.





Some men, they buy chocolate

for Valentine's Day;

They git it at Wal-Mart,

it's romantic that way.





Some men git roses

on that special day

from the cooler at Kroger.

"That's impressive," I say.





Some men buy fine diamonds

from a flea market booth.

"Diamonds are forever,"

they explain, suave and couth.





But for this man, honey,

these won't do.

Cause yor'e too special,

you sweet thang you.





I got you a gift,

without taste nor odor,

more useful than diamonds...

IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!





Luv, from yor romeo,



Bubba







I thought that was so fuuny so i put that on here i know ima loozer lol