The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

im asking in here for two reasons one if someone reads the title and chooses to further read the inquary of the Entry, then i know they are someone who is at least possibly interested in helping someone who could use a bit of time.and second I just dont know where else i would ask? forgive me I am THAT new. but Im wondering what the mentorship is all about what they do what they are for ect.. and second If I am someone who is saught out for membership Id be most interested in seeking a psy-vamp mentor. but would be honored to whom gives me the time to answer my questions.

stumbled across this one but a few minutes ago, seems so far interesting. Perhaps i will be able to find others of likemindedness that i can chat with. questions are usually answered with more questions. the web of confusion gets to great sometimes. Ill tell my story here that way if someone is reading this it was by choice. okay ill start when I was young. grew up in a prominant christian family sent thru catholic school where cuz I was "different" , not rich and didnt play sports the dust on the chalkboard got more attention that I. so I found my companions within my own mind. the dreams started just about the ripe age of puberty around thirteen. I wont go into details of the dream (or at least save them for another entry) but they were vivid to the point of even now at the age of 35 I still remember them as if I just woke having them. two dreams actually that were reoccurance dreams over a period of about three weeks (not every nite but very close) . confused unable to underestand why I was having such crazy dreams I went to my mother about them. after completing the dreams to her, she reached under her chair and pulled out here holy bible and removed a very old looking peice of paper and handed it to me and begun to tell me a story of when i was three years old, very sick and doctors had no idea what it was. My mother and father beeing very close to there pastor was asked if a "specialist" as the pastor refered her to could come by . the paper she handed to me were the descriptions of four demons that were troubling me. I had an excorcism preformed on me . even then my soul was dammed. i grew up beleiveing that our souls are chosen before we are even brought into mortal life of thoes that are destined for heaven and thoes that are destined for hell. almost as if God and the devil have a contract between each other to keep the balance equaled.. we dont have the choice our choice is made for us then "who we are" is designed around that. to me that explains why one child will help and old lady across the road and another will drown there younger sibling. I believe that with proper guidence these paths could be altered but not by much and in the end even when we are old enough to make our own choices in life our paths will still lead us. Anyways life after that grew dark . I grew to hate god, got into very dark demonic music, im a musician and played with many dark bands got heavy into drugs . prefered the psychedelics it opened my mind let me see things that exsist on other levels of demensions. but I was always a very emotional person. as a child I couldnt contain them very well. of course as i got older I learned to bury my feelings .. and burry them deep .. cold .. heartless I turned to such "religions" as paganism, satanism, looking to understand the darkness inside me.what fed it what nurtured it what made it consume me. in my later teens while working for a video store (lots of lonely nites watching movies figured what better job?) anyway, I had a regular . a beautiful exotic woman who in time became a "friend" in a sense. she owned a store called the crystal rainbow and told me she was a coven mother of witches. She told me that I had empathic ablilites which explained my abundance of emotions.. i told her sometimes w/out reason I would "feel" the hurt, the pain of the world crushing me. I thought for a long time (after I learned about it) that I was bi-polar. she told me that my soul 'crossed-over" for only a moment durning my excorsism to the fourth demension where i picked up the abilities. . i hated for so long ..so many years.. failed relationships by the dozens . loss frienships cuz I sometimes choose to spend time alone in my basement listening to music or reading than being social. it wasnt until my 33rd b/day did i really find out 'what" i was 'who' I am . i was sittin at my computer researching (ive been obsessed in a sense with whats to happen december 21 2012 since early 2000) the return of planet nibiru the great allignment . but irrelevant for this peice im writting. anyways, i was sittin at my computer and I began recieving messages from three differnt people. all were psychic vampires who told me that well they could 'sense" that i had "come of age" 33 i guess is an important age in the development in psy's. i was sent a book the psychic vampires codex written by a psy-vamp (thank you michelle the book helped so much) i found a peace within myself . i could finally put a label on 'who i am' i began studying psychic vampyrism learning to hone the skills of energy feeding but with no one around to understand to talk to about it i feel like a lost newborn animal trying to figure out his place. im still feeling like im walking in the dark but I found a lighter to slightly light the way.. but great things are about to happen that will shake the very foundation of humanity.. the world as we know it will soon no longer be .. as we know it.. (to be continued)