Maybe it would be better
if i didn't exist
or we never met at all.
All my life I've been going down hill
into a never-ending darkness.
A darkness that drowns me
and will never let me go
as if i were a ship lost at sea.
A darkness of depression
torment and despair
its color is black
filling every corner
hiding in every part of my soul.
"I'm drowning" I scream out loud
and pray for someone to help
but no-one hears me
because I'm so secluded in darkness
nobody can see me as I see them
they are full of light
happy and joyful something I am not.
On the other hand
something in this darkness
seems to comfort me
as if this was how it was meant to be
to be hated? to be shunned?
something is tugging
tugging on my heart my body my soul
pulling me deeper into my struggle.
I fight for breath
but my lungs are so compressed that I cannot.
The pain I feel is indescribable
I'm unable to think
I can hardly move
I'm covered in emotional scars
that the human eye cant see
hidden bruises on my skin
caused from forces unseen.
My untimely death
should not take me long to formulate
but the darkness holds me back
i hear my voice
but of a language not my own
as if I were speaking dead Latin
a language lost long ago.
Voices are screaming inside my own head
in languages i don't understand
but only one of those voices translates
"Everyone hates you"
"Nobody cares"
"Your better off dead"
I feel chains tie me down
I'm unable to move
invisible needles stab into my skin
filling me with poison
invisible knives cut and stab me
missing my most vital organs
then i realize they didn't cut me far enough
I am hardly bleeding.
The chains begin to tighten
holding me in place.
Hopefully sometime soon
someone will hear my cries of pain
and bring me out of my eternal darkness
and that person will be
my own personal savior
who will save me....
from myself.
COMMENTS
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ShiruTelal
02:19 Nov 25 2009
Beautiful words! I feel the pain within them...