I am so tired of being strong all of the time. My mother needs me, so I'm strong for her. I am told by my brother's, who I haven't seen since 17 nor talked to since 18 and is not ready to do so, girlfriend that I need to be strong for him and give him someone to look up to. I realize that there are others out in the world that have more, and better, reasons to complain about constantly being strong. I know not how to completely let go of my emotions. I've kept my pain, anger, fear, sadness all of it I've kept bottled up since I was eleven. I would love to leave Oklahoma. Not for good, but for the time being. My mother needs me. So I stay. My shoulders, back, hell my body is constantly sore. I know I sound like a whining child, but the truth is that I rarely ever let go, rarely ever complain. Right now I needed to do so. Though I want to stop being strong for once, no matter how much I want to lean on someone, I can not. I am too stubborn. I can not afford to be, even in the tiniest way, weak or vulnerable.
COMMENTS
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Guidacarta
05:46 Jul 03 2009
Poison,
As a compassionate Being and an Elder in a world far more real than a web site I offer you a distant but real shoulder to lean on in times of need.
I am no ones savior, nor will I claim to be. I am however a gentleman and a friend should you need one.
Also a note to say being strong isn't always physical or emotional. Sometimes ones strengths goes un-noticed, but reveals themselves / itself in the words one chooses to share.
Guidacarta