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Sooooo... I've been accepted to a university and I filed for my financial aid, all that's left is to register for my classes. Right?... WRONG!! Because I'm trying to arrange it so that my parents aren't considered responsible for any of my tuition, I'm filing a Dependancy Override, they're still responsible until I'm 24 otherwise. So I have to get a letter from 2 different people explaining the situation. Baiscally I've said that I don't have any contact with my father, which is true since we haven't talked since Thanksgiving and it had been a while before that. With my mother I'm taking the whole religious angle, since she's not supposed to interact with me because of all that stuff and that puts a bit of a strain on any we might have. With that I should be able to get a little more financial aid too. Then the stupid thing went and asked, "After July 1, 2009 were you homeless or at risk of being homeless?" Well the answer's yes, more than once in fact. Now I have to get 2 letters from different people backing that up too! It would have been simpler to lie about it! GAH! I need to have all this by the 30th too because I was told I can't qualify for the Iowa Grant after that and I apparently get that automatically if my FAFSA is approved by the 30th. *sigh* Why does it have to be so complicated? I'm planning to ask my brother to write a letter for each of the things and I'm asking anyone else who knows the situation and would be willing to help me out.

I feel mentally and emotionally drained. I'm so tired of being unhappy, lonely, and frustrated. I'm tired of the stress around here, I'm tired of the crap. I can't wait for the end of the month when I move into my own place again and the solitude it will bring. I also really look forward to starting college, I think it wil be a new start for me and that would be good. At least that's what I'm hoping. Well, I think I'm going to bed now.

I'm heartbroken... One of the most kickass concerts ever is going to be in the area on the 22nd and there's no possibility I'll be able to attend... It sucks.

It's my day off and so far the only thing I've done is lie in bed and play around online, I think it's time for me to get up and get started with the day.

COMMENTS

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chrysanthemia
12:22 Jun 24 2010

Never!

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placidchaos
04:35 Jul 01 2010

Ha ha, It was a necessity, there were things to be done that day. Now I have more to do for a bit!

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Today was just a day, nothing special. I'm not really big into birthdays but the fact that it was my birthday just made the day seem especially empty. The highlight is when the landlady brought me cake and icecream and a birthday card. I was grateful and tried to be happy but I don't know how successful I was, more than anything it just seemed to enhance how not happy I really felt inside and I worry that it might have shown. I just felt a sort of sad accpetance. Then I indulged in some much needed escapism, I watched Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. The chic who plays Norah is attractive in a way I can't really pin down. She's not really hot, she is cute but that just doesn't quite cover it and I can't define the rest of it. Hmm... I really wish I had someone right about now... Bah.

At 5:01 CST I turn 23. So what has gone on since this time last year? Let me see... I remember having one of the best birthdays since I was 10 thanks to a girl I was dating. Not a lot happened after that other than working, eating, and sleeping until late July. At that point I made a move to Omaha, it seemed like a good idea at the time and I had a plan. The plan didn't work all that well. I struggled for the next couple of months trying to find solid employment and thought I'd found something right at the beginning of October. During that time I was staying with my aunts and had more of a social life than I'd had in years, I went on a couple dates and went to as many concerts as I could. I also went to a couple of poetry slams, they were fun, and I even participated once. I moved out of my aunts' place and into my own and things seemed to be going ok, then there was one problem after another starting with a tire blowing out. Then my employment turned out to not be so solid, that sucked. It wouldn't have been too much of a problem except my car decided to quit working on me just to put some icing on the cake. So I had no job and no transportation to go job hunting with, int the end I lost my apartment. So for a lack of other reasonable options I ended up moving back in with my mother, shortly after that I found part time employment. I have steady employment again even if it isn't much, plus I've gotten accepted to a local university and will finally be going to college starting this fall. I'm fairly miserable at this point since I don't have a car and can't get one and I'm living with people I don't get along with very well and honestly can't stand at times. Now we've caught up with the present.



I'm hoping next year when I look back at what has transpired that I'll be able to at least feel a little less frustrated by it all, it would be even better to look back with some level of satisfaction. On the bright side, there's going to be a positive note early on when I move into my own place in a couple weeks. Hopefully that trend continues throughout.

I don't know what the deal is but there's this girl at work that everytime she walks into the room my eyes are drawn to her. She could come in behind me and I don't even know she's there but I feel the urge to turn around and look. On top of that, evertime I do she's doing the exact same and we always look each other in the eyes. It's not because of attraction, she is good looking but I don't really feel anything for her and she's in a committed relationship. So what is it? Not knowing why is driving me a little nuts.

Finally back online! A storm knocked the power out for just a few seconds but it killed the wireless signal I use, for some reason whoever it belongs to didn't turn it back on until today. I was so excited when it turned up, the first thing I did was log onto my messenger and this with the hope that I would have friends online... No such luck though. *sigh* Oh well, hopefully this will last and they'll be on another night.