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I've been oddly happy these last couple of days. I'm still lonely, but that isn't causing me problems. I've been walking more again too, and my place is cleaner than it has been for a couple of weeks. On the down side, I'm almost out of herb. I'm saving the last of it for tomorrow night. Such is life. I'm looking forward to New Years Eve, despite the fact that I'll be spending it alone. I've done pretty good this year at keeping with my resolution. I'm fairly proud of myself, despite the fucking up that I did. This next year, I will do better.



My resolution for the coming year is a repeat of this last year's and to be more motivated and happier.

Why oh why do I keep getting job offers for Omaha? It's been since MARCH that I've lived there! For cryin' out loud!

This last week seems as though it was actually 2 or 3. Loooong... I've been so bored and lonely. I don't have easy access to the internet right now, and my phone has been off. I've been reading a lot. In the last week and a half, I've gone through about 12 books. My eyes are a little worn out because of it. I've also watched several movies. I can't wait for the new year. I can't wait for things to pick back up for me. I finally got my phone back on today. That's somethin' I guess.



I had one of those random moments of... Inspiration? Insight?... whatever. I was walking home from the grocery store, but when I got to my corner, I suddenly had the urge to turn right and keep walking instead of going home and walked downtown. As I was walking, I happened to look to the left and saw my landlord. That was some good luck, I needed to talk to him. I was planning to get online at the library so I could email them, but talking in person is much better in my opinion.

I had a dream about my friend Rachel the other day. I don't remember most of the details, but I do remember one thing and probably the most important of them. All I remember is us sitting on my couch talking, and she leaned over suddenly and gave me a kiss on the lips. It was just a quick kiss. It sent a lightning like sensation starting at my lips and spreading through my whole body and woke me up. I had that much of a reaction to a kiss in a dream. Crap.

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aqiang9292
08:28 Feb 23 2021

Oh! I want a kiss like this too

https://acmejoy.com/

https://fondlove.com/

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Today has not been the greatest. I woke up to find that I'd accidentally slept through my last final. When I set my alarm clock last night, I accidentally forgot to turn it on. It wouldn't have mattered even if had turned it on though, it was set 12 hours off. *smacks self in the head* To add insult to injury, my knee's actin' funky. If I put any weight on my left leg while the knee's bent, it hurts like hell. I don't know what the deal is.

I just took my Modern Rhetoric book in and got $36 for it. They almost didn't take it back. That wouldn't have been good at all.



I got some really interesting and good news today. Because my employment is considered a work study, nothing I earn there counts as income when applying for assistance. That means an increase in my food stamps. I'm definitely not complaining about that. That also means it won't count as income if I apply for rental assistance.

The buy back for text books is going on this week! This is a good thing since I'm very seriously in need of more money. I'm going to start bringing in my text books as I finish my finals this week. I just finished my psych. final. I think I'll bring that book in before the end of the day, or maybe I'll do it tomorrow since I have the whole day off.

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Nedra
16:28 Dec 13 2010

Don't get your hopes up. They usually only buy back the books for 1/100th of what they cost

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chrysanthemia
19:34 Dec 13 2010

So, if you spent $100 on a book, they'll buy it back for $1.



Right, that totally makes sense.



I was expecting something realistic, like, 1/4 of the original price. And since I got most of mine for half the bookstore price (Amazon), things will work out well.

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placidchaos
15:53 Dec 14 2010

They're paying decent prices actually. I got $35 for my psych. book. I only paid something like $80 for it because it was used.

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chrysanthemia
01:57 Dec 17 2010

I got $48 for my sociology book ($40 on Amazon, hell yeah), and $35 for my Writer's Resource book ($50 from the college bookstore).



My psych book is an older version, so they wouldn't take it. And they reached their limit on my aboriginal studies book. They offered me $12 or I could wait till April to try and get the regular sell-back price. I said, since I paid $80 and we didn't even use it, I'll wait and get a better portion of my money's worth.



She didn't like that. O.o



What are you studying for?

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placidchaos
16:32 Dec 17 2010

Nice. It makes it less horrifying to spend so much money on text books when you can get some of it back.



I don't blame you. I would hold out too. If they don't like it, that's their problem. Right?



I haven't declared a major yet. I know I want to write, but that's all I've really figured out so far.

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I feel like I can't think clearly. I feel so overwhelmed by different shit. I can barely function sometimes. It always feels the same. It's the stress and the anger. There are two things I can do about them, get it all out or hide from it. I can't figure out how to get it out without violence. So that leaves hiding from it. That's not exactly working in my favor though.

Last night was awesome. I'd gone out after it started snowing. I noticed the walk was snowed over and shoveled it. After I did, I moved the shovel. It's sort of a community shovel. It belongs to the apartments, so I knocked on my neighbors' door to let them know where I put it in case they needed it again (it was still snowing). When the wife of the couple opened the door, the first words out of her mouth were, "Hey, we made a plate for you." That threw me off completely. My mind just went sort of blank for a moment while she ushered me inside. They had made an extra pork chop for me and some sides. Me knocking on the door was complete coincidence, they'd tried to catch me earlier, but I was gone by the time they knocked on my door.. It totally made my day. The three of us sat and ate dinner together while just flappin' our yaps. It was nice.

I scared my poor coworker the other day. I was having issues. She was concerned and tried to talk to me about it. I talked. I'm sure I wasn't exactly the most comforting person to be around at that point. I was angry, am angry, and it all came to the surface. I wouldn't have been comfortable being in a small room with me like we were. It was safe. Well, it was safe for her anyway. I wasn't angry with her. It was seeing actual fear in her eyes, her stepping back from me, that got my attention and made me force myself back under control. I suppose most people who don't know me from back when wouldn't expect to see me like that.

Ugh. work is getting a little more stressful. Life in general is, but most of it leads back to work. It's driving me nuts. I feel like I'm trapped in a tug-of-war and without any clear indication as to which way I'm being pulled.

Fuck. I just had a really long entry here. Then my big unweildy hands and fingers accidentally hit some combinations of buttons, no clue what, and it all disappeared. Poof. Gone. Just instantly vanished in front of my eyes. I don't feel like re-typing all of it. The highlights were: Rehearsal for the variety show tomorrow night, I got a couple more shifts at work this week, I'm having odd symptoms illness without suffering or feeling sick.



I just started reading a new series, it's by Jim Butcher. I love The Dresden Files by him. This series is called the Codex Alera. I'm about half-way through the first book. So far, it's good.



I keep having typing slips. I was posting something on fb and accidentally typed "weed's" instead of "week's" and tried to put "thought even though "through" is what I was meaning to say. I've been doing a lot of that lately.

My life isn't all bad news these days. I did manage to find somebody to loan me the money to keep my utilites on. I found out where the food bank is. I got to spend a lot more time with my friend this weekend since she didn't go home this time. I've had rehearsals for the variety show we're doing on Monday. I'm really looking forward to that! I've started to catch up on some of my homework too. I also picked up a new book for leisure reading that looks to be pretty good.

What a wonderful week. I have no phone, no internet, and may soon have my utilities shut off. Why do I keep going through this no matter how hard I try?

COMMENTS

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SinginGhost88
12:05 Dec 03 2010

It is a hard cycle to get out of.

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placidchaos
03:54 Dec 05 2010

Indeed it is, but I thought I was out.

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