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I FUCKING RULE! Ok, not really but I'm friggin' excited! For the first time ever I qualify for a credit card and NOT one of the ones for people with bad credit!
I got this from my grandma today:
Hi, I hope to be able to keep in touch with you better the next 50yrsLOL.ok, not quite that long. I do read the family group.
I am the worlds worst about keep ing in touch. just wanted to say HIand send you love. g-ma
It made my day. I haven't heard from here in forever, since she disowned my mother.
I'm going to have about 20 or so hours of overtime on my next check! I got 10-11 last week because of the useless dick fart quitting and because my boss is incapable of being on time and then I'm scheduled for 8 next week but, as previously stated: my boss incapable of being on time so I'll get more. It's going to be a nice paycheck. *sighs* How did I go from thinking that $600 for a paycheck was small to thinking that anything over $500 is nice.
I've taken to doing push ups and sit ups while I'm doing my night audit at work because some of the updates take forever on the computers. This made for me wishing for a copy of the security tapes the other night.
Me: *doing push ups*
Guest: "Hello?"
Me: "Woop, sorry." *starts getting up and stumbles forward head first into the wall and falls back on my ass*
Guest: *laughs uncontrollably and speaks in gasps* "If... only... I had... my camera!"
YES! I managed to find a wireless signal so I'm logged on at home! I haven't lost it since I hooked up to it so far either. I moved my computer all over my apartment trying to find where I'd get the best signal and it turns out to be my bedroom. Hopefully it will last.
FINALLY I get to get on. I've been trying for the past week or better but the computer at work has decided to be a jerk. It keeps logging me out of VR everytime I click a link or every second link. Needless to say I haven't been able to post in my journal or send any messages. Right now I'm on the computer at the library. It was really starting to piss me off.
If they really want to, they can do a test when you're 40 and see that you did weed when you were 15. It takes decades for all traces to be completely gone. Oh, and you know those quick fix/flush your system tricks? They only work so well. Guess what? If you go on a diet after that it'll show back up in your system because it's in your fat cells too.
My most recent entry in the communication log at work...
Q: Dear Communication Log,
Why do I have to keep fixing people's room rates when they check in?
A: It's because people keep forgetting to click the box next to "Lock Rate" and that causes it to reset when certain actions are performed on the reservation. The way to fix this is to remind everybody again and beat them upside the head each time they forget.
I wrapped a piece of polished quartz into a pendant today. It's the first I've done in forever and is also the best I've ever done. Odd. I like it, I'm actually wearing it right now. I'm using the chain from my dog tags until I get around to making the... I don't know what to call it, I would say chain but it's not a chain so much as a cord and that word doesn't seem right either... and then I'll wear it on that.
^-^ This is great! I just got accepted as a full member to The Coven of Oppressed Debauchery! Right now I'm spending some time wandering around and checkin' things out.
It's funny in a sad way. For all my unbeatable will power, there's one thing I can't seem to make myself do but I should. Why? It's a really simple answer actually: I'm afraid. Of what? Everything and nothing really. If I do, will Tina think less of me? She says she won't and I know she won't but the fear is still there. What if I qualify? What if I don't? I honestly don't know which would be worse. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I'm dangling by a thread and every moment that I hang there it gets thinner but the effort it will take to reach possible safety could just be that which finally snaps the string. At best I'm barely managing to keep in check a serious mental illness, at worst I'm risking losing control of a proven to be dangerous condition. I wish I could just go curl up in a corner and cease to be so that I wouldn't have to deal with this or any other problem but I can't. I don't know what to do. What do I do?
WHAT THE HELL?! I can find Samurai Pizza Cats online but I CAN'T find Monster Rancher?! That's so wrong, especially since I thought Samurai Pizza Cats was stupid even as a kid.
I've decided to go back and watch season 1 of Digimon, I haven't seen it in forever. I hope it doesn't turn out to be stupid like the original Power Rangers was when I went back to watch it last year....
DAMN! It's dubbed instead of subbed so I'll have to wait 'til I remember to bring my headphones to work.
*cries* I forgot my headphones at home... I can't listen to music nor can I watch anime... Well, I guess I could watch anime if I REALLY want to since I watch the Japnese with English subs.
Have you ever had one of those days where you're not in a good mood, not in a bad mood, not in a blah mood but are actually in no mood at all and yet still in the mood to maim, destroy, and just about anyother unpleasant thing you might be able to do to your fellow man?
What on earth?... Some girls just came out here wearing their bras and panties one the outside of their clothes, they couldn't have been older than 14. Sometimes, people are insane. Not that I'm one to really talk about insanity.
It was a good day. I got home and slept, I seem to be doing a lot more of that than usual lately. I got up, showered, ate, read, and then walked up to walk Tina home from work. I hung out at her place until 6:45 and then we went to see The Mummy... It was hilarious! It's honestly not the best movie I've seen this year but still worth the money. It got over at around 9 and that left me just enough time to walk Tina home, pick on her for a bit as she kicked me out so she could sleep, eat, and then shower before work. It seems like it was a rather short day but I enjoyed it.
Damn our new people suck! I don't mean they suck as in "they need better training and they'll be better" but rather "holy shit, how the hell have you managed to survive if this is how dumb you are?" kind of suck. They've been here long enough that they can't really be called new anymore but they're still making mistakes like it's their first week and worse!
I saw a video for them. it lasted all of 30 seconds before it ate my brain.
06:42 Aug 05 2008 Times Read: 864
I've been debating whether or not to put this in my journal for a little while. It's old news but it's only been recently that I've even said anything to anyone about it and that was to Tina. So here goes my first public mention of it. Before anyone can think otherwise: I am making this entry for me and I only leave it public because making it private would defeat the purpose. I don't want your pity, sympathy, or whatever, I just need to say it. I don't care either way if you comment on this entry.
Have you ever had one of those hurts that you really just don't know how to put into words properly? Sometimes you just don't know what to say. Shortly before I joined VR I had one of those hurts. I didn't say anything to any of my family because I knew that would only bring about chastising and I didn't need that. It was, well, the best way I can think of to put it is that I was almost a father. I didn't even find out about it until after the girl miscarried, it was caused by the pressure of her seat belt when she was rear-ended. She hadn't told me before that because she was afraid that I wouldn't step up. As you might have guessed we really didn't know each other, it was a random thing. I don't really understand the hurt, Tina says that it's a given but I don't get it. That's what originally triggered my seclusion right before I found VR.
Today was good. I was so out of it and beyond pissed Saturday night/Sunday morning. It didn't help that I'd been in a bad mood when I got to work on account of being awakened out of the best sleep I've had in a while by the phone, that part didn't annoy me so much as the fact that it was my co-worker calling to ask if I knew what happened to his Tag... *shakes head* Oh well, it's behind me now.
I unplugged my phone when I got home on Sunday, I stayed awake long enough to eat and then I was out for the count. I woke up mid-afternoon and went psycho destroying any and everything I could playing Twisted Metal Head-On. After I tired of that I read for a bit. In the evening I walked up to the grocery store to walk Tina home from work and I got to spend a couple hours with her before I went back home. I ended up tossing back a couple glasses and I got a little tipsy, I wasn't drunk but I could feel the alcohol. I decided at that point that I would like some dark, so I covered all my bedroom windows to block out the street lights and shut off the ones inside and just chilled in the dark. It was nice. I eventually dozed.
I woke up this morning a couple hours after I fell asleep. I read until the bank opened and I went to get some money out so I could do some shopping. I got some groceries and then I went and bought some smokey quartz as well as some hematite. I just so happened to run into Tina at the bead store where I bought the stones and so I walked her home before I went home. On my way back to my place I noticed a nice breeze on my thigh... There was a big enough hole in the crotch of my jeans to call it crotchless... So I went back to the bank and got more money out, that was my last pair of jeans that wasn't de-crotched but I've been putting off buying more. I went straight to Wal-Mart from there and bought two pairs of jeans, I almost cried to spend 40 bucks on two pairs of jeans but I needed to. Despite the cost, it's nice to have new jeans. Then I went to the library and chilled some more. As I was getting ready for work more of my wardrobe decided to rebel on me, my last pair of work pants has been missing a button for a while and I've been making do without one but now the zipper decided to detach itself from the rest of the garment... So, I have no work pants and I'm wearing one of my new pairs of jeans right now. My boss said she doesn't care but I still think I ought to buy some work pants when I get paid on Friday.
Obviously the last two days have been uneventful since I worked but I've been content and now I have a things to start making a pendant. I'm thinking about recycling my torn jeans, I have an idea of what I can do with at least some fo the fabric. I also bought a poster to put on my bare walls, one down several to go.
WARNING: Do not read this if you are a Christian and easily offended. This is not directed at all Christians but I'm pissed.
Do not shove your fucking "Jesus can save you, everything's la-dy-fucking-da perfect if you turn to Christ" bullshit. Been there, done that. It is crap. Sure it works for some but not for me. I don't want your fucking religion so go shove it up your ass!
What the hell? I was just reading the thread "holiday" and I have to ask: Do you people not pay any attention? There have been several posts and threads about Lammas here lately and if you actually look at the image she posted it clearly says 'Lammas'!
If this offends anyone, no offense but I don't care. I'm pissed and I don't feel like sparing anyone.
Today was a little annoying at first. I was trying to wait at work for the banquets people to show up because I had some information that I needed to tell them but I got tired and went home. I went to bed and set my alarm clock but I slept right through it. I had wanted up in time to get some money out of the bank, I didn't really need to though. After that the day was a day. I got up, went to the grocery store, read my book, and did a little bit of shopping. Then I had to work. Work started out ok, I should have known it would end up all fucked. The guy on the shift before me gave out the key to the bridle suite to some chick because she flashed him. That is a HUGE no no and he knows it. So the bridle suite was trashed. I'm pissed as all fucking hell. If I get my hands on that little puke stain I'll thrash him! AND THE FUCKING HOTEL IS STILL!! OUT OF PILLOWS! WHAT... THE... FUCK?!?!?!?!
I guess but you'd think that we'd have enough. That's one of those things that no hotel should ever run out of.
PRIVATE ENTRY
12:42 Aug 02 2008 Times Read: 889
• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •
12:31 Aug 02 2008 Times Read: 890
I did some updating to my profile. I'm slowly shaping it. I did something that I have never done before, I put a song/video in it. The song kicks ass: Set The World On Fire by Symphony X.
It seems to me that humanity is slowly giving up those traits which made it worth something as it progresses. Sure we can save thousands of lives now but in exchange we can eradicate billions. Where is the balance? I feel that we gain more bad than good from progress and yet, we cannot do without progress. If we were to give up the progress we are making than our species would stagnate, I think that we are no longer capable of any other kind.
Value is how much something costs and honor is a word that can be read in the dictionary. Compassion is disappearing into selfishness and loyalty is a price.
Perhaps I am just cynical or perhaps the human race has regressed as far as I think. I guess that is only a matter of opinion and I haven't seen anything to make me change mine.
I hate the people in this hotel. First I have to kick the skinny dippers out of the pool, two girls and two guys, and then they come out here (they were dressed, mostly, by that point). Once out here one of the chicks decides to hold her panties out to me and inform me that she's not wearing them, at that point she says "see" and procedes to lift her miniskirt up and spread her legs. I swear that I'm going to go insane... er... if I don't get laid soon. Beyond that they were polite and respectful. On top of that, I have had fifty million requests for extra pillows and I don't have any. Not to mention that there are countless drunk people being obnoxious and annoying.
Thankfully I've only had one noise complaint and that was because somebody thought that everybody on that floor was with his party and so left the door to his room open, he was very apologetic and immediately got it under control.
Yep, they were skinny dipping. I told them that they needed to get out but I don't think that they have, I'll have to go back in in a few minutes to check.
So I decided to scrap "Wall of Shame" and put something different there. It wasn't going the way I wanted and if I really need to write the stuff I've been putting there I can put it in this section. I've decided to use that section as a Tarot journal. I'm going to start doing some daily readings and I'm going to keep track of them in there, it's an exercise to both help me and to help myself become more familiar with the cards. I may occasionally put other things in there but it will be related.
I've decided to start studying Tarot more earnestly. Tina had the Complete Idiot's Guide to Tarot (I guess she needed it for some research, she didn't seem to want to tell me so I didn't pry) and I've decided that's a good a place as any to start. I'm going to work on becoming more familiar with the cards and understanding them, and getting used to doing readings. Once I'm good on all that I'll work on furthering it.
Explosm apparently added some new flash animation to their website and now the computers at work won't load it! NOW how am I supposed to read Cyanide and Happiness?
P.S. Yes I'm aware that I misspelled the title, I don't care because it amuses me.
I had an odd dream earlier today, though I guess you could call it normal compared to some of my other dreams (like the one with the bird rabbit).
I was me but in a different place (I don't know if it was a different version of here or just a different universe all together), I was dressed like I do now too. I was out in a forest area with a military-like group but it was old fashioned, swords and what-not, and we were camped out. For some reason I was leaving off from the main group and some guy that I assume was my friend warned me that there had been a lot of people getting jumped and I told him that it was no problem, I'd just show off a bit with my knife and that would intimidate them (?). A little later on I was camped on my own in a little clearing and laying down for the night, I don't know how but suddenly I knew that there was somebody outside my tent and they were a threat. I grabbed my sword and attacked as soon as they entered. They were in full armor and knew how to use a sword. We fought for a little bit before I managed to disarm him and then I made him remove his helm. I asked him his name and he told me. I demanded to know what they were doing and where they were from, he told me that he was here to kill me and said that that was all I was going to know. Before I realized what he was doing he tilted his head back and I heard a crunch, at that point he fell over dead. Some of my people showed up then, apparently they had been nearby and heard us fighting. They asked me who he was and I woke up.
This is by far the most normal dream I have ever remembered.
There were a couple kids out here tonight ages 11 and 12, apparently their uncle was supposed to be watching them and decided to kick them out of the room. Since they obviously couldn't go to bed they were wandering around, they got bored so I let them on the computer and then they helped me with my work for a little bit. After a while their parents came back to the hotel, they were wasted. Of course the first thing they do is start scolding the kids for being a nuisance and the kids wouldn't say one word in their own defense, even after I vouched that they were fine. Then the adults decided to go swiming even though they know that the pool is closed, guess who it was that got everybody out of the pool and into their rooms? Yeah, it was the kids. That's some f***ed up sh*t. The kids are obviously more mature than the adults and more than most their age. Most pre-teens would have been making trouble during the night. Not them though, not only that but they were were eager to help out.
I was in an odd mood all day yesterday and I'm still in it now, I wonder how long it'll last. I'm in a good mood and yet I still feel like walking down the street giving everybody the bird.
Off topic here: Why is it called giving "the bird"?
Anyway, back to what I was saying. I would say that I feel like being controversial but that doesn't quite cover it. I just put into my facebook notes that I want to get a t-shirt that says "Save the Earth..." on the front and "Destroy all humans!" on the back. Hell, I think it would be amusing to no end to go about my day saying "Go fuck yourself" at random to whoever I happen to see. I'm laughing at the very thought, what is wrong with me?
Heh, I think I creeped out a couple of guests. They were standing at the front desk talking (I have no idea why they chose to do it at the front desk) and I caught them saying something about what they were anti. Being curious as I am I decided to find out.
Me: What are y'all talking about?
Guest 1: We were just discussing our anti choice for the day.
Me: *blank stare*
Guest 2: Each day we pick something that's harmful to our planet or society and we are anti that for the day.
Guest 1: Today I was anti-diesel.
Guest 2: And I was anti-homosexuality. You should try it, if everybody did it it might make a difference.
Me: *scratches chin while looking up* Hmm *looks at them with a blank expression* I'm anti-humans.
Both guests: *stare at me for a moment and then walk away talking as if I didn't exist*
Tina: Well you are you know, you are legally crippled.
The conversation started out playful and she didn't mean it meanly but it came as somewhat of a shock for her to say it. Realizing that you are basically crippled, knowing you are by military standards, and even knowing that the doctors consider you as such is different than having someone tell you. It's true though. Without the surgery I can legally be considered a cripple and I can't afford the surgery, even when it might have been free I couldn't afford it because of the time it would have taken that I needed. This just brings me back to the thought of disability. I've considered it, I've said that I'm going to apply but when it comes right down to it that's all I've done, think about it and talk about it. It's frustrating all the more because I know that my physical problems only compound the mental ones. I know that I SHOULD seek assistance but I'm not ready and I'm still managing. I may eventually end up having little choice in the matter. I just wonder, where do I draw the line?
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