So where going to be just friends.... the problem is what he doesn't know is that he'll get MORE of my heart that way.
I don't have any decent tools the even do this shit! So now where does that leave me?
Which is sadder? That I want to start cutting, or that I'm to vain to start cutting? I think it's been coming for a long time. So do I make myself feel better or just feel worse because I don't have the strength to make myself feel better? Do I continue to take my meds and only tell friends what I think they can handle or do I try something new and see if it works? Do I embrace the darkness that's in me or keep hiding it? Because that was working so well before.
Why do I want to cry so badly? I have a good man in love with me and another totally infatuated with me; even though I have been honest with him and he shouldn't be. I have been up for the last 50 hours, not exasperating, with only two 2-hour naps. I tried to got to bed once. I cant get these butterflys out of my belly , out of my head and the tears are there but not falling.
COMMENTS
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Scarlett
17:37 Aug 27 2008
who... tell me.... who... wha tin the hell is going on?