The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

When your having a bad day remember, you could be a siamese twin stuck to your gay brother, who has a date tonight and you only have one ass.

What kind of medicine did the doctor give to the depressed lesbian?



Trymenagain





Why is orgasm a 6 letter word?



Because it's easier to spell than.... Ohmygodyesohshitdeeperyesgodnopleaseohf*cknoyesyesOhgodf*ckmebabyplease....

This is my favorite Edgar Allan Poe quote:



"I became Insane with Long Intervals of Horrible Sanity"

Edgar A. Poe

Around 11:30 pm our towns tornado sirens were sounding. We were under a tornado warning. I was watching a zombie movie on the pay channel and didn't hear it. My roomates came running into the livingroom all excited. Of course we didn't go down to the basement like we were told to. Instead we all headed outside. As we stared up at the sky, we were amazed by what we saw. The dark black clouds that were blowing over were in the shape of huge black angels, a total of 5 of them exactly the same, one after another drifted across the sky. It was thundering so loud, and the lightening was so biright, but the rain had stopped as the 5 angel shaped clouds floated over our heads. It was truly an amazing sight.

Once again I stand here holding my cracked and bruised heart.

After pondering on this, I have came to this conclusion.

I stupidly had once again given my heart and trust to someone who evidently was full of false pretenses. One who was not capable of honesty, love or trust.

Actually I believe they are very unaware that they are truely self-motivated and selfish. They just think everything is a big joke and they always use the excuse you know I love you, I was just helping out a friend, or I just did that because someone was bothering them.....I feel they are only looking out for their own self- plessure.

You know who you are.......and guess what....my heart does not belong to you anymore!!!!!

Joke: Why are there no cookouts on Brokeback Mountian?



Answer: Because all the wieners taste like shit.





Joke: What did the right pussy lip say to the left pussy lip?



Answer: We better split, here comes two nuts driving a hot rod.

So today I had to go for nerve testing in my hands, the doctor thinks I may have a pinched nerve in my neck.....wtf....I tell ya when you hit a certian age ladies every year something new happens.