The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Do I make you tremble

each time my fingers caress your skin?

When my tongue slips between your lips,

does your body shiver with desire?

I can make you writhe

and leave your body shaking.

Feel my body against yours

as I tear down any resistence.

There is no right or wrong

in this world of pleasure.

Desire and lust control me

for I was born to please.





Tanya

6/15/06

The emptyness burns bright inside me,

glowning like firey embers.

The dull beating of my heart echoes

and I am reminded of how entirely hollow I am.

I hover on the edge of existence,

neither fully alive nor completely dead.

I stand always upon the precipice,

wondering which choice I will make in the end.

The darkness pervades my mind,

leaving no room for any light.

I linger in the dorrway between desire and conscience,

what I want and what I have.

The essence of life barely glimmers,

my soul is so clouded.

How can I ever fully live

when so much of me feels dead?

Hope is no longer even a memory for me.

I gave up on that many years ago.

Praying to be saved by some almighty being

was merely a waste of time.

There can be no saving

for one so internally evil.

I am the ultimate display

of what dangers hide in desire.

My life has been corroded by my inability

to stop coveting that which belongs to another,

risking what I have each time I seek what I have already given up.





Tanya

6/15/06

Like sand slowly trickling through an hour glass,

thoughts of you ionce again seep back into my mind.

Initially the intermittent flashes of memeory,

do nothing more then cause a dull ache.

Gradually they become more frequent

until the memories flood my whole being

and the ache begins to seer through me

like a hot blade being driven deep into my body.

The serious look in your grey eyes

as you helped me find the words

that expelled the demons that fed off my soul.

The cooling touch of your long, thin fingers

as they grazed my burning skin

and gently assured me that the wounds would heal.

The way you would purposely use my "taboo" words to try and shock me enough that my barriers would break down and I would feel free to speak the words locked inside me.

Every thought,

every memory,

rushes into my thoughts

and the emotions are so intense

that I am overwhelmed by it all.

Falling back through time,

I slip into my old patterns to escape,

only to realize that by doing so,

I have instead brought you closer,

knowing I can never completely leave you behind.





Tanya

6/14/06

Am I a hormone driven slut,

willing to do anything to get what I want?

A whore who willingly plies my body,

using a coy smile to entice anyone I desire?

Am I nothing but a bag of skin,

used to carry the flesh that wants to be ravaged?

Lie still and do what they want.

Smile pretty with my empty eyes!

Swallow it down with the tears I hold in.

Feel them burning as the nausea sets in.

Their words echo through my blank mind,

burning deeply into my brain,

becoming a permanent part of my existence.

I fight against your prediction of my life,

devouring you whole in my attempt to destroy it.

I tear apart anything that reflects your actions.

I live my life trying to defy you,

willing myself to self-destruct

whenever I sense any hint that it may be true,

that I may be exactly what you said I was,

what you taught me to be:

an empty headed bitch useful only for my body,

desiring physical pleasure regardless the cost.





Tanya

6/14/06