The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

"Don't answer me if you don't know how you feel yet," she told me quietly as we sat quietly in the dark.



"Would you ever bite another person?" I asked her.



"I swear that I won't hurt you!" Bianca cried out.



I reached out in the dark and found her hand. "Bianca, I am not afraid that you will hurt me! If I was afraid, do you honestly think I would be sitting in an empty cemetary alone with you in the dark? I just asked if you would ever bite someone."



"I could never hurt someone."



"What if it wouldn't hurt them? Would you bite someone if you knew it wouldn't hurt them?"



"How could it not hurt them? I would be biting their skin and making them bleed!"



"Bleeding doesn't always hurt you know. Would you bite someone if they asked you to do it? If they wanted you to do it?"



"Christina, have you lost your mind? Who would ask me to bite them?"



"Well, would you bite me if I asked you to?" I asked her quietly. The only sounds were the crickets chirping for a couple of minutes.



"Christina, what are you saying?" she asked me.



"I guess I want to know what it feels like. You know, what it would feel like to be bitten."



"Why do you want to know? Doesn't it bother you to know that I can bite through your skin? Not just bite you and make a mark Christina but actually break the skin!"



"Oh, and razors slitting through my flesh doesn't? Not all my cuts are because I am upset you know! I like the feel of the burn as the razor slices, the coppery smell of my blood as it trickles down my skin and the metallic tang as it coats my tongue. It is like a drug to me." I moved closer to her.



"Christina are you telling me that you actually want me to bite you?" Bianca sounded confused.



"Would you think I'm weird if I did?"



"Well, I thought we already decided that we are both weird and that it's a good thing," she said with a laugh. "So you are not only okay with me being a vampire, but you also want me to bite you? This is so totally going nothing like I expected! If I knew that this was how you would react, I would have told you this first!"



I laughed as I put my arms around her to give her a hug. "I've never been known as being predictable! The stranger the situation, the more I enjoy it!"



Bianca hugged me back tightly. "I guess so! I will have to get used to the fact that you don't react the way most people do!"



"You never answered my question though. Would you bite me if I asked you to?"



"Chrissy, there is nothing I wouldn't do for you."



I tilted my head, "Then bite me, please?" I put my hand on the back of her head and guided her towards my neck. "Please Bianca?" I felt her mouth against mine as she began kissing me. As the kissing intensified, she moved over and began kissing my neck. I held onto her tightly and I felt her teeth pierce my skin. My skin tingled as I felt her drinking my blood and I could smell my blood as it flowed. I felt like I was floating and all I wanted was to never stop holding her and touching her. I had never wanted her so much as I did in that moment! I dug my nails into her back as I clung tightly to Bianca. A low moan escaped from my lips. Thinking I was in pain, Bianca slipped her teeth from my skin.



"I'm sorry! I shouldn't have done that!" Bianca said franticly as she cradled me in her arms.



"Sorry? Don't be! I wasn't in pain! I was in ecstasy! Can you get high from the scent of blood?" I babbled senselessly. "The rush is insane! Am I high? I think I'm high?"



"Woah! Chrissy, you need to calm down! You sound like you're drunk!" Bianca said sounding concerned. "Maybe I drank too much and made you light headed!"



I laughed. "I'm not light-headed! I just feel really happy and hyper! I love how you made me feel!" I reached my hand up to where she had bitten me and felt a little blood still there. I swiped at it then brought my fingers up to her mouth. She clowly licked each finger until now blood remained.



"So you're okay with all of this? This really doesn't bother you? You actually enjoy my biting you?"



"I've been in love with vampires since I was just a little kid. I wanted to be a vampire ever since I saw my first vampire movie! I don't just enjoy you biting me, I find it erotic. You don't know how much I wanted to touch you and be touched by you while you were biting me!"



Bianca laughed, "Oh really? Hmm, maybe i will have to bite you more often!"



"Didn't you feel like that when you were bitten?"



"I've only been bitten once and it wasn't out of love or desire. Maybe if things had been differently, I would know what you mean, but being bitten suddenly by someone who is just a classmate, doesn't really start me feeling anything besides shock," Bianca said with no emotion.



"If I were a vampire, I would bite you if you wanted me too. Then maybe you could feel what I felt," I told her as I softly caressed her neck.



"I guess you should have been the one who was turned!" she said joking.



"Well, you could turn me too adn then I can show you how I feel." My mind was racing. Would she want to do it? Could I convince her that turning me would unite us in a way that nothing else ever could? Was she so distraught about her own turning that she wouldn't be able to see that things would be amazing if we were both vampires?



Bianca laughed, "Yeah, sure, I'll just make you a vampire so that we both will have to lie to everyone about why we have to wear dark glasses even if there is only a sliver of sunlight, why we live longer than most everyone we know and why we have bite marks on us all the time! I wouldn't make you live like that Chrissy, don't feel like you need to give up a normal life because I can't have one."



"Bianca, it wouldn't be as bad if it were the two of us! Think about it! I told you that I want to be with you forever and this will bind us together forever! Who cares what people say about us? We can be two mistresses of the darkness!" I was becoming more excited by the moment and more determined that Bianca needed to turn me!

We ended up going and having lunch at Tribal Fusion. We had eaten there so much lately that the owners were getting to know our orders by now and we didn't have to tell them what we wanted anymore! After lunch, we went to one of the book stores on Mercer. We both enjoyed reading, though our tastes were often quite different. I preferred the horror stories and paranormal while Bianca's tastes were more for the classical. We just browsed through the books, not buying anything, just seeing if there were any new ones that sparked our interests. Of course, if I were rich, I probably would have bought hundreds of books! I read voraciously and never seemed to have enough to keep my mind busy. By the time we had our fill of the bookstore, the sun was beginning to go down. Sleeping so late made the day go by much faster! Not that it mattered to us really, seeing as we stayed up all night anyways.



As we left the bookstore, Bianca turned to me and asked, "Want to head back to your house for a little so we can change before I take you out tonight?"



I looked down at my shorts and t-shirt. "Change into what? Do we have to get dressed up?"



Bianca laughed, "Dressed up? No. Dressed carefully? Yes."



"Carefully? Carefully for what?" Now what did she have planned? Everything was always unexpected with Bianca!



"Well, we have to be sure that the clothes we wear are dark, not going to get snagged on things easily and that the shoes we have on are good for walking. Technically, where we are going, we are not supposed to go right now."



"Are you planning to break into someone's house?" I asked nervously.



"Well, not so much someone's house but it is where people reside." She laughed, "I just want to go to the D'Aleen statue. I know how to get into the cemetary through the back of it by walking through the woods behind it."



"Why couldn't we have gone there earlier when it was actually open?"



"I want to go there to talk to you and I want it to be in private. If we went earlier, there would have been people around and even though nobody has ever been over by our statue when we are there, I don't know how you will react to what I have to say. I would rather it be completely private so you feel free to react without worrying about other people hearing or seeing your reaction."



"The only private place that you can think of is in a cemetary, after hours illegally?" I asked her increduously.



"There's that and the fact that the statue is important to the two of us."



"Just let's not get caught and arrested! My parents will kill me if we do!"



Bianca laughed. "Don't worry, I've gotten in the cemetary before after dark."



We went back to my apartment and Marissa had yet to leave the television it seemed. She glanced up when we walked in, "Didn't expect you back yet. It's still early."



"We just came home to change before we head back out. I don't know what time we will be home tonight though. I will have my cell if you need me for something, okay?" I asked her.



"Whatever. I'm not staying up all night to wait for your ass to come in."



"I didn't ask you to!" She was my younger sister but she always acted like I was the younger of the two of us.



We went back into my bedroom and Bianca started going through her stuff. She pulled out black jeans, black tank top and a pair of black sneakers. Then she started going through my clothes, pulling out the same basic outfit. She headed off to get changed in the bathroom while I switched into my 'criminal' outfit. What was Marissa going to say when we both walked out dressed like this? Bianca came back in, dressed all in black and her hair pulled back in tight braid.



"All set?" she asked me, looking at my outfit. She came over and tucked the tank top in, "Less likely to get caught on trees or bushes this way," she explained. "Let me braid your hair, okay? That way it won't get in your face while we are walking." She braided my hair quickly then stepped back to make one last check. "Okay! Ready?"



"Don't you think my sister will think it's a bit strage that we are going out dressed not only all in black but dressed exactly the same?"



"We'll just tell her that we are going to goth club. She doesn't know whether or not this would be normal in a goth club, right? I mean, she doesn't look like she is much into the gothic underground sub-culture."



I laughed. "Marissa into goth? That's a joke! No she doesn't know a thing about gothic stuff!"



Bianca laughed, "So let's head out!" We headed back out and Marissa once again turned to look at us.



Her eyes wide she asked, "So, you planning to go out and rob liquor stores or something? Where's your snow masks?"



Bianca laughed easily, "No, we are just going to go hang out at the goth club in the city. We will be back later tonight!"



Marissa rolled her eyes, "Goth club, what fun!" then returned to watching the television.



We got back into Bianca's Jeep and soon we were heading down one of the side streets near the cemetary. Bianca followed it down until it reached the river that ran behind the woods. She parked her car and we got out. "Just stay close to me because I know where we have to go and I can't use a flashlight."



"Don't worry! I don't plan on wandering off in the dark alone!" I told her nervously.



We walked single file into the woods and climbed through the trees, over dead logs and between the bushes for several minutes. Bianca walked silently and seemed to see through the thick darkness that I felt we had been swallowed up by. She slowed and I couldn't see what we were approaching. She turned to me, whispering in my ear "This is the back fence to the cemetary. I will boost you up and once you are on the top, reach down and give me your hands so I can pull myself up."



"Are you sure we should do this?" I whispered back uneasily.



"It's fine. I promise. Come on." I felt her hands on my waist so I reached out and fumbled until I felt the top of the granite fence. As she boosted me up, I pulled myself to the top and swung my legs up and over. I turned, laid flat on my stomach and put my arms over to reach Bianca's waiting hands. Once we were both on the top of the fence, we slipped down to the dirt ground. "You okay?" she whispered.



"Fine but I have no idea how to get to our statue!"



"Don't worry, I have a general idea of how to get to the main areas and then we can figure it out from there."



"How can you see anything?"



She laughed, "My eyes are used to the dark."



"Lucky!" We walked quietly along the back wall for a few minutes before Bianca indicated that we should start heading further into the cemetary. After several minutes we were on one of the main 'roads' and she seemed to know where we were at that point because I had to keep a hand on her arm to be sure that I didn't lose her! We were soon climbing up the hill to the D'Aleen statue. Once we were surrounded by the trees that isolated the statue. Bianca pulled out a pack of matches and a candle that I didn't even know she had in her pocket! She lit the candle then put it snug into the dirt on the side of the statue. She sat down and indicated that I should sit too. I plopped onto the grass beside her, waiting for what it was she wanted to tell me.



Bianca seemed nervous, clearing her throat a few times before starting to talk. "Umm..hmm-hmm...well, I guess I should just get started right?" She cleared her throat again. "I don't know how much you are going to believe when I tell you this but I can swear to you it is all the truth. I know it is going to sound insane and like I belong in a psych ward but I wouldn't tell you this if it was just a lie. I told you that this secret could change everything that you thought you knew about the world and the creatures in it. You say that you believe in the existence of aliens, mythological creatures and monsters, but if you were to actually see one, would you be so willing to believe? Would you be so willing to accept it? I thought I would until two years ago and a girl I went to school with took me aside one day after school to tell me something. I thought she was joking around and told her that I didn't believe her. She asked if i wanted her to prove it to me. I told her that I didn't see how she could prove something like that but to go ahead and try. So she did. She proved it by making me what she claimed she was. If you don't believe me, I won't do that to you. I promise."



"Bianca, you are not making any sense. What was she? What are you trying to tell me you are?"



She turned to me with tears reflecting in the glow from the candle, "Christina, I'm trying to tell you that she was a vampire. She made me a vampire!" She began to cry in earnest. "You see why I didn't want to tell you?"



"A vampire? You mean like furrowed brow, fangs, Spike vampire?"



Bianca laughed through her tears, "No, sorry to dissapoint you but I'm not Drusilla! No furrowed brow but my teeth are a bit sharper now then they used to be. My eyes are sensitive to the sun but see clear in the dark. Vampires in reality are not much like the ones in television, movies or books. We don't live forever but do live longer. The sun doesn't kill us, just makes us burn easier. A crucifix won't burn me anymore then it will burn you. When I die, I won't dissappear into dust either."



"You're serious? You are really a vampire? You drink blood?"



"Well, I don't have to drink blood to survive but I do crave it. I feel the blood pulsing below people's skin and it makes me want to bite them but I don't. I haven't had anyones blood but my own. I didn't bring you here so I could attack you or drain you. Vampires don't really drain humans, only drink what they need to quench the desire. I would never hurt you Christina, please know that."



It felt like my brain was too slow to process her words. A vampire? True, I have always believed that it was possible that vampires existed. Hell! I wanted them to be real! Sitting here though, it seemed like I was trapped in some bizarre world. How was I supposed to believe that not only were vampires real, but my girlfriend was a vampire! "So, your a vampire but you don't drink blood?"



"Christina, oddly enough, you sitting here asking me the facts of vampire life is not exactly how imagined things would go. I expected you to freak out, scream at me that I was psychotic and take off through the cemetary! Yes, I am a vampire but the only blood that I have had since she turned me, is my own."



"If you bit me, would I become a vampire?"



"What? No! That part is true. I have to drink of your blood and you have to drink of mine. I wouldn't bite you Christina! I can control myself. I swear!"



"I'm not saying that I think you are going to attack me Bianca! I am trying to understand all this." I didn't feel afraid or in danger. It was more a feeling of surprise but also a feeling of curiousity. What was it like to be a vampire? Obviously, blood wasn't a thing that frightened me, what with all my cutting. Part of me felt that I cut not only to try and control my feelings but because I enjoyed seeing, smelling and tasting my own blood. Blood seemed seductive and alluring to me. How would it feel to have Bianca bite me? How would it feel to bite her? I was lost in my thoughts which Bianca seemed to take as my rejecting her.



"I can take you home, pick up my things and go back to my parents. I understand if you don't want to hear from me or see me again." She leaned over and put out the candle.



I grabbed her wrist, "Bianca! Wait! I didn't say that I wanted you to leave and I didn't say that I didn't want to be with you! I was just thinking! This is alot to take in all at once!"



"I'm sorry! I don't really know what to do or say right now! I don't know if you are mad or scared or sad or what!"



"Well I'm not angry, sad or afraid. I can't say that I'm exactly happy but I'm not hating you or anything like that."



"So what are you thinking? Do you want to still be my girlfriend or would it be too weird for you?"



I thought about it. Would it be weird to be dating a vampire? Somehow weird wasn't the feeling that came to mind! I kind of wanted her to bite me to see what it was like but she had said she never bit anyone else.

Bianca laughed softly, "I don't want to go too fast with you. Everything is new to you and I want you to remember everything as being special. I don't want you to ever regret anything we do. Tonight I just want to hold you, kiss you and fall asleep with you in my arms. Tomorrow night, I want to take you somewhere and tell you the rest of my secrets. If you decide that it's over after that, I want to remember tonight."



"Bianca, I told you already that there is no way I would leave you. I want to be with you always. You are so sweet. I mean, my god, you just finished telling me that want to make eveything special for me! How could anything you have to tell me, make me forget that?"



"I guess we'll find out tomorrow if you really want to be with me forever," Bianca said quietly. "I do want it all to be special to you. You deserve to be treated special."



"There is nothing special about me. I don't know why you think there is because there isn't," I told her, thinking about how she already knew about my suicide attempts and still wanted to be with me. "You think I would leave you over anything when you know that cut my own body up and have tried to kill myself yet here you still are!"



"Chrissy! Stop saying that you're not special! You are very special to me so that's that! I would never leave you because you have problems. I want to help you with whatever it is that makes you think that you're body needs to be destroyed," she said as she placed her hand on my scars again. "I want to show you how to love your body, not hate it." She leaned toward me adn began kissing me again. This continued for several minutes before Bianca pushed herself up on her elbow saying, "Your parents said they would be up early, so unless you want them to learn that you are a lesbian by walking in on our night long make-out session, we better get to sleep!"



I laughed and checked the time and saw that it was already after four in the morning! I pulled myself up and got off the bed to unlock the door. "Yeah, that would not be the best way to come out to them!" I went back and curled up against Bianca.



"That would put an end to my spending the week her for certain!" Bianca laughd and put her arm around me. I felt so safe and content that I fell asleep within seconds.



"Christina, wake up for a minute. It's mom and dad." I heard as I felt someone shaking me. I opened my eyes and saw my parents standing beside the bed. "Honey, we're going to be leaving. We left you some money in case you need anything while we are away. Make sure that you keep the house clean. We don't want to some back to find it a mess."



"Don't worry. I probably won't be home enough to destroy the house. Drive safe and let us know that you got there," I said as I sat up to kiss them goodbye.



"We will. You get back to sleep. It's only six," my mom said and they left my room closing my door. A few minutes later I hear the front door close and then heard the sound of their care starting up. I turned over and smiled when I saw Bianca sleeping beside me. I scooted up close to her and went right back to sleep.



"Yo! Dorkface! Get up! It's after noon already!" I was jarred awake by Marissa smacking me in the face and yelling in my ear.



"Knock it off!" I said as I blocked her hand from hitting me again. "We went to sleep around five so back off! Why do you care when I get up?"



"It's not my fault that you idiots went to sleep so late. Are you going to sleep all day?"



"Probably a few more hours so go away!" I told her as a turned over.



"You don't have to be rude!" she said as she stomped out, slamming my door as she left.



"Is she always so loud and bossy?" Bianca mumbled sleepily.



"Basically. Sorry that she woke you," I apologized as she snuggled up with me adn we fell back asleep. I woke up a few hours later feeling hungry. I looked at the clock and saw that it was after three in the afternoon. No wonder I felt hungry!



"Bianca? Are you ready to get up?"



"Hmmm? What time is is?" she said as she blinked her eyes open and stretched.



"It's almost three-thirty," I told her.



Her eyes opened wide. "Wow! Yeah, I'm ready to get up!" She sat up still stretching. "Is your sister still around?"



"Probably, but I haven't left the room yet." I stood up and went to my dresser to get some clothes out. "Feel free to wear anything from my clothes. I am going to go get dressed and see what she is up to."



"Cool beans! We can run by my house later."



I went out closing the door behind me. Marissa was in the living room eating cheet-os and drinking soda while she was watching the disney channel. She looked up as I wondered through on my way to the bathroom. "About damn time!"



"Whatever," was all I said. I didn't feel like getting into a stupid name calling argument with her again. I got dressed, did my hair and brushed my teeth. I headed back to my room, knocking before I went back in.



"Come in," Bianca called through the door. I walked in and she was dressed and had her hand in Tasha's cage petting her. "I hope you don't mind that I opened her cage. She was making noise so I figured she wanted attention."



"No, totally feel free to play with her. She probably wants her morning lettuce. I'll go get it. The bathroom's free and there's an extra toothbrush," I said as I headed back out to go get Tasha's lettuce.



A few minutes later, Tasha was happily munching on lettuce leaves and we were all set to go. We went into the living room to head out and Marissa rolled her eyes as she said, "So, you slept all afternoon, just got up and you're heading back out already. Gee! Thanks for the company!"



I started to get irritated but Bianca jumped in quick with "Sorry Marissa! It's my fault! I need to go get some clothes and things from my house since I will be here all week. I'm sure that we can spend more time together so we can get to know each other soon."



Marissa looked surprised. She couldn't argue with that! "Oh, well, right, sure go ahead and get your stuff. I'm just watching movies."



We headed out and got into Bianca's Jeep. "How do you know exactly what to say to people like that?" I asked her.



"I told you. I have to go play the dutiful daughter for different company things with my father. I picked it up by watching everyone else around me be fake and play nice!" she said laughing as we drove down the street. She turned her stereo on and blasted it as she flew down the roads onto the highway. It took us about twenty minutes to get to the city where Bianca lived. The houses looked like small mansions with large lawns that had perfectly trimmed bushes and not a blade of grass out of place!



"You never told me that your parents were rich!" I said as we drove through the neighborhood. "You must feel like you are staying in the slums at my parents!"



"No! I like your parents apartment! Everyone talks to each other there and you can tell that you all care about one another. My parents have money but I hardly see them and when I do, nobody really talks to each other," she said as she pulled into a driveway that lead to a 2 story house that was probably the size of half the block of the street where I lived. "Your parents don't live in the slums either! It's a nice quiet area. Come inside with me."



We went inside and Bianca led me to the kitchen area. On the counter, she found a note from her parents and an envelope. She grabbed the envelope and tore it open. She pulled out a stack of twenty dollar bills which she handed to me. "Can you throw that in your pocket so I don't foget it?" she said as I followed her out of the kitchen and upstairs. I took the money but just held onto it. I didn't want to put that amount of money in my short's pocket! Bianca threw open the door to her room, went to the closet and took out a couple of backpacks. She started grabbing clothes from her dresser drawers and closet and stuffing them into the backpacks. She then threw in some make-up, a hair brush and a few different pairs of shoes. I handed her the money and she stuffed it into a small side pouch. "All set! Let's go!" she said grabbing the backpacks up and heading back downstairs. I followed after her and we got back into the jeep adn she headed back out to the highway. "What do you want to eat for lunch?'

My mom looked up as we entered. "Well, I assume that this must be Bianca!"



Bianca slipped effortlessly into the same role she had played when she met Liz. She stepped up to my mom, extended her hand, "Yes, I'm Bianca. You must be Christina's mom." She shook hands with my mother then moved on to my father, extending her hand again, "You must be her dad." She shook his hand then stepped back toward me. "It's nice to meet the both of you."



"It's very nice to finally meet you," my mother told her, giving me a look to let me know that she felt that I should have brought Bianca to meet them sooner. I could tell that Bianca had impressed her by the warm smile my mom gave her.



My sister piped in with, "I'm Marissa, the dweebs sister."



Bianca simly smiled. "Hi marissa," she said, ignoring the rude comment. "I hope that you don't mind but Christina has offerd to let me stay with your family for about a week. My parents have to leave for a conference in Sweden tomorrow night. If this is an inconvenience, I will be fine staying home."



"Of course you are welcome to stay! We wouldn't want you to stay all alone for such a long time. What is the conference for?" my mother asked. My mind was spinning! A conference? Where did that come from? I didn't dare look at Bianca!



"My father is CEO of a software company. I'm not really up on all that kind of stuff so all I know is that it's some sort of software conference!" Bianca said with a laugh.



My mother laughed. "You must be proud of your father! Well, you are welcome to stay as long as you lilke although my husband and I will be leaving for New Jersey in the morning and we will be away until next Saturday."



"Thank you for letting me stay! I really appreciate it and I hope that you have a good trip."



"Come on, let me show you my room," I told her. We went into my room and I shut the door before whispering, "Sweden?? Where did you get that from?"



"My father called my cell phone while we were driving here. He had heard my message adn realized that they had forgotten to let me know that they will be away. I didn't make it up," she said laughing.



"Your parents forgot to tell you? How could they forget?" I asked increduously.



"it's not the first time that I would have woken up and found them gone with a note letting me know where they will be, when they will return, contact numbers and an envelope of money to get me through until they come back. I take care of myself so it doesn't matter."



"are you serious? That's weird!" I told ehr. How could they just not realize that they hadn't told their daughter they would be going away?



Bianca shrugged, "I'm used to it. Anyways, so this is your room?" She looked around my room, taking in the posters on my walls, my overflowing bookcases, stuffed animals on my bed adn then her eyes came to rest on Tasha. "Oohh! There's your piggie!" She went and knelt in front of Tasha's cage. "Can I hold her?"



"Sure just let me get her for you," reaching in and withdrawing Tasha, who squeeked in protest. "Hey Tash!! This is Bianca!" I said as I handed her to Bianca.



"Hi piggie! You're so soft!" Bianca squeeled as she cuddled Tasha in her arms. Tasha quieted and began sniffing Bianca inquisitively. Bianca went and sat down on my bed, still holding Tasha. I went and sat next to her.



"You want to listen to some music?" I asked as I reached over and turned my stereo on.



"Go for it, music is always good." She lay on her back with Tasha resting on her stomach as we listened to the music until we heard a knock on my door.



"We're going to head to bed girls. We have to get up early in the morning to get on the road. We'll say goodnight now and just pop in to let you know when we leave," my dad said as he stood in the doorway. I got up and gave him a hug and kiss goodnight and then did the same for my mom.



"Sleep good girls," my mother told us. They headed off to bed and I closed my door.



"Let me put Tash in so she can have some food and water," I said as I scooped Tasha up and brought her back to her cage.



Bianca sat up saying, "Do you have anything I can wear to sleep in?"



I opened up one of my dresser drawers and took out a night shirt and a pair of shorts. I handed them to her saying, "Let me show you where the bathroom is so you can change."



"Thanks! It doesn't matter though, I can change in here."



"My parents would flip out if they knew you did that! Marissa would run right to them to let them know too, little snitch!" i said quickly.



"Oh! Alright, take me to your bathroom!" Bianca grabbed the pajamas and followed me out of my room, down the hallway to the bathroom. I ran back to my room and threw on some pajamas myself. Within a few minutes, I heard Bianca's voice outside my room. "Christina? Is it okay if I come in?"



"Yeah, I'm all set." Bianca came back in and put her clothers in a pile on the floor near the dresser.



"You parents have pretty strict rules about really strange things! If we are both girls, why shouldn't we change in the same room? Girls change in locker rooms together all the time!" Bianca said as she plopped down next to me on the bed.



"I don't know. That's how I've always been raised. My parents beliefe that having high morals is important. Any nudity is inappropriate unless it is between a married couple. No pre-marital sex. No revealing clothing. That's just how they've always taught us," I replied. It had never occured to me that my parents behaviors might seem as unusual to her as her parents' behavior seemed to me.



"No wonder you've never dated!"



"Hey! At least I'm not trashy!"



"Anything but!" she said laughing. "You know, if we could just sort of blend your parents with my parents, it would create perfect parents! My parents have no rules and your parents have too many rules!"



I began laughing, "Yeah, I noticed that! They are complet opposites of one another!"



"Like I've said before, all parents are just plain strange!" she announced with an air of finality. "So now that they are in bed, I guess that means that everyone is expected to stay in the house?"



"Yeah, it's basically a lockdown until morning. We can stay up, watch tv or a movie, listen to music or things like that so long as we keep the noise level low enough not to disturb them."



"This feels so weird to me! It's like some sort of surreal family or sitcom family! Do you always just do what they say? I couldn't do that. I need to be able to go places and do things when I want to, " she told me.



"Well, I get into trouble for arguing about the rules so it isn't worth it generally. If I argue, I lose privledges or get the silent treatment. It's impossible to win an arguement with my mother."



"Wow! You need to learn to stand up for yourself though!"



"Well, it doesn't matter for a week so I am going to completely enjoy the week I have!" I told her with a smile.



Bianca laughed, "Oh really? How do you plan on enjoying yourself?" She hopped off my bed, locked my door and snapped the light off. My heart started pounding. What was she planning?



"Well, umm, I hadn't really thought into details of the week yet, but, umm sure, sure I'm going to have a good week," I stammered as she climbed back into bed and lay down next to me.



She leaned closer to me saying, "Hmmm, no plans yet? Maybe I can help you out." She began kissing me and I became lost her them until I felt her tongue pressing into my mouth. My eyes snapped open! I had never done this before! I could feel her massaging my tongue with her own and I felt like I was melting inside. Our kisses intensified and I felt her hand slip under the bottom of my shirt and rest on my stomach. I jumped!



"No!" I sat up holding my shirt down tight.



"Chrissy! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to upset you! I won't do it again, I promise!" she sounded so upset and it only made me feel worse.



"It's not you Bianca! It's me! I'm a freak! I don't mean to react like that to you. I don't want you to know what I do!" I was crying in earnest now.



Bianca began hugging me and rocking me slowly. "What you do? What do you meatn by that? Nothing you could do could make me stop how I feel about you."



"If you see how bad I am, you will!!"



"Come on Chrissy, I wont hate you or leave you. What don't you want me to know?"



"I have scars all over my torso area. I didn't mean to do it but I lose control and then I play 'slice and dice' with myself. I'm a freak and a sicko! I know! I've heard it all before so go ahead and lay it on me!"



"Chrissy! I already know that you are a cutter! Who do you think helped Ella get through you being hospitalized for trying to kill yourself? I figured that you would tell me when you were ready. I don't hate you for it."



"Ella told you?"



"Of course! I know that you and Ella both cut when you get really upset. I've been there for Ella since she started and I will be here to help you when you need to talk too. I would never leave you because you have problems with how you deal with your feelings!" she hugged me tighter. "Don't call yourself a freak or a sicko! You just need help that's all." I hugged her tightly. She lay me back down on the bed, still holding me tight. She bent forward and kissed me gently. "If anything I do makes you feel uncomfortable or scared, just tell me, ok?"



"I promise," I said as we began kissing again. I loved how it felt kissing her and I didn't want to stop. My heart began to pound when I felt her hand on my stomach again. Bianca could sense the change in my reactions. She got up and switched on the light. The sudden light blinded me and I threw my hand over my eyes. "Ouch! What are you doing?" I asked her.



Bianca came back and sat next to me on the bed. "I want you to see that I'm not going to freak out because of your scars. Let me see them Christina."



I felt the tears welling up and spilling down my cheeks. "You will! They are awful and I hate them!" I told her.



"I won't. You hate them because they remind you of how you felt when you did it. They make you feel bad about yourself. I'm not going to hate them because there is nothing about you that I could hate," she said as she reached over and pushed my t-shirt up to just below my chest. "Oh my poor Chrissy! You don't deserve to hurt yourself like that!" I watched her eyes closely for signs of disgust but all I saw was compassion, concern and love. Bianca leaned over to hug me again. "You don't need to do that. I will help you find a better way to handle things, I promise." Leaving my shirt bunched up, Bianca ran shut the light back off.



"You don't think I'm disgusting?" I asked her.



"No Chrissy! You are not disgusting. You obviously have something that bothers you alot and I'm here to listen or help whenever you are ready to talk to me about it all." she lay down next to me on the bed again. "Are you ok? Do you want me to give you some space?" she asked me.



"No! Please don't! I want you to hold me and love me!" I said as I grabbed onto her and hugged her tight.



Bianca laughed, "okay! just checking!" She began to kiss me again and I kissed her back with every emotion I had in me. I felt her hand lightly stroking my stomach and it felt as if a horde of butterflies had smarmed into my belly! "It's ok Chrissy, I wouldn't hurt you or do anything you dont want to do." She bent down and began kissing the scars on my stomach and I thought I was dreaming. Her soft lips tenderly kissed my scar covered stomach before coming back to kiss my lips. "You doing okay?" she asked me once again.



"I'm fine. Please don't stop. I like when you are kissing me, when you are touching me so lightly that it is almost as if you are not even though, I love all that about you!"

I was a little tense at work the next day. I know Liz could sense something but I just didn't feel ready to tell her. It wasn't because I was afraid she wouldn't accept me, she was a lesbian so that wasn't going to be an issue. I just felt like I wanted to keep my relationship with Bianca secret for a little, something that was just between the two of us. Liz suspected that something had went wrong the day before when I was out with Bianca and kept trying to question me about it. The more she asked me things, the more irritated I became.



"Alright, so how many animals did you two sacrifice yesterday," Liz asked me after I had already told her that nothing weird had gone on.



"Bianca loves animals as much as I do! I told you, we basically hung out on Mercer Street and talked so we could get to know each other better!" There was no way that I was going to tell her about the cemetary or sneaking into Ella's house!



"So, if 'nothing' went on, then why won't you tell me anything specific? I know she must have gotten you to do something that freaked you out or you wouldn't be so secretive Christina!"



"I'm not being secretive! If there isn't anything to tell, how can it be secretive?" Dammit! Why was I such a bad liar?



"Right! Nothing to be secretive about, sure! So you were out with her for about ten hours yesterday and all you did was have lunch,have dinner and 'hang out' talking on Mercer Street. Even if you spent an hour eating a bagel and another hour eating a wrap, that leaves eight hours. Eight hours Christina! Do you think I'm stupid? How could you spend eight hours on a Sunday afternoon when stores are only open from noon until six pm, on a street that is one store after another?" Liz was getting really angry by this point. "You know what? Nevermind. Forget it. You don't trust me then fine. When something goes wrong with Bianca's crazy and probably illegal plans, dont come crying to me. I don't want to hear about it!"



"Liz! Come on! Of course I trust you!" I put down the paperwork I had been working on. "It was nothing! We didn't pull any pranks or break any laws. Seriously, we just spent a lot of time sitting down talking." If I didn't calm her down about this, I was going to hurt our friendship! "Look, Bianca is meeting me here at the dining center after I get out of work. Why don't you come with me so you can meet her for yourself and see she's not as weird as you think," I told her, trying to appease her.



Liz was quiet for a minute, looking at me carefully, "Why is she meeting you on campus?"



"It's an easy place to meet up with easch other. Then we can figure out what we are going to be doing instead of trying to make planes over the phone while we are driving," I explained.



"Fine. I'll come meet her but I still think that there's somthing that you're not telling me."



"Well, maybe you will realize you're wrong after you meet her."



"We'll see," was all she said. The rest of the day we worked but there was a distance between us that had never been there before. When four o'clock came around, we walked across the quad and into the dining center. I scanned the dining room and spotted her sitting across teh room reading at one of the tables. She had on a sleeveless pale blue cotton dress, her hair was up in a loose french-twist and she was wearing glasses! I headed over to her table, dragging Liz along begind me. Bianca looked up as we neared.



"Hey Christina!" she said, putting her book down and standing up. She straightened out her dress, then gave me a quick hug before turning to Liz, extending her hand and saying, "Hi, I'm Bianca."



Liz stared at her dumbfounded for a few seconds before taking Bianca's hand and shaking it briefly. "Oh, hey, sorry. I'm Liz. I work with Christina."



Bianca smiled, "Hi Liz, Christine mentioned you when we talked about her job. It's nice to meet you. Would you like to jooin us tonight? I'm not sure what we are doing, but you are welcome to come along!"



Liz shook her head, "Thanks for offering but I already have plans tonight."



"Maybe another time then," Bianca said before turning towards me. "I figure we can just leave your car here and take my jeep. Is that okay?"



"Sure," I said. "Are you ready to go?"



Liz interrupted with, "I'm going to head out. I'll see you at work tomorrow. It was nice to meet you Bianca. We will have to all make plans to go out some night."



"See you in the morning," I replied with a smile, reaching over to give a hug goodbye.



"I'm sure I'll see you again soon," Bianca told Liz before telling me "I'm all set, if you are."



We left the dining center together and then Liz headed to where she had parked her car early this morning and I followed Bianca to one of the larger parking lots. As soon as we got into the jeep, Bianca turned to me and burst out laughing. "How did I do? Was I 'normal' enough? Did I shock her?"



"Shock her?? How about stunned her speechless!" I said laughing. "Did you see the look on her face when you introduced yourseld? She couldn't hardly remember her own name!"



"I love playing with people's minds! Everyone needs to be kept on their toes or else the world gets much too boring!" We both laughed for a few minutes more. "So, what do you want to do now?"



"Want to go get some things to work on cleaning the statue?"



Bianca laughed, pointed towards her back seat, "Take a look."



I turned and saw paper towels, glass cleaner, other assorted cleaners and rags on the back seat. "Guess that's what we are doing then!"



We worked on the statue for over an hour that afternoon. Once again, covered in filth, we headed over to Ella's to get cleaned up. After showering, while we waited for the clothes to be cleaned, we slept for a couple of hours, waking as the night was beginning. Getting dressed, we hurried back out to get something to eat for dinner. We hung out on Mercer Street for a while just people watching and talking, sitting together holding hands. Bianca drove me back to the campus to get my car and we kissed for a few minutes before I had to head home in order to allay any further problems with my mother. Every night that week, we met and continued our little routine. Friday came and when we were saying goodbye, I didn't want to leave her. Impulsively, I asked, "Come back with me! Spend the night! Spend the weeklend! Please Bianca?"



Bianca laughed, "Well that came out of nowhere! Is this you being sure to keep me on my toes?" She grabbed her cellphone off the dashboard, "What about your parents? Will they be okay with my staying over? They haven't even met me yet?"



It will be fine," I assured her. "You will only see them tonight. In the morning, they are driving to visit my aunt and uncle in New Jersey for a week. They don't mind if my friends sleep over."



"A week? What about your sister? Will she be a problem?"



"Other than annoying us when we are there, she won'tbe doing anything but sitting on her ass and binging on snacks because our parents won't be there to tell her not to."



Bianca laughed, "Okay then! Let me call to tell my parents." She flicked through her cell phone, dialed and waited. "Hi, this is Bianca. I'm going to spending a few days at my friends house. I'll stop by tomorrow to get some things. If you're there then, I will say hi. If not, just leave me some money," she hung up. "Answering machine," she stated. "So I will follow you, okay?"



I kissed her quickly before switching cars. I couldn't belive that I had just done that! How was I going to act normal around my family AND Bianca? I wasn't ready to let them know yet. the ride home as only about ten or fifteen minutes and soon we were pulling into the driveway. I led Bianca upstairs to our apartment. As usual, everyone was in the living room watching television when I walked in with Bianca.

When I got home, my parents and younger sister were all in the living room watching television. My mom pointedly looked at the clock, letting me know that she thought I had been out too long, "I thought you had forgotten how to get home. Nice of you to grace us with your presence."



Immediately on the defensive, "I told you that I was hanging out with Bianca today. You didn't tell me I had to home at a particular time and you didn't call me all day."



"You could have called to at least let us know that you were still alive Christina. You only think about yourself and never show any consideration for the people who care about you."



"I was only fifteen minutes away! It's not like I went around the world without letting you know!"



My father piped in, "Don't be rude to your mother! You were gone all day and you never once gave us a call to check and see if we needed anything or if everyone was all right."



"Well, silly me! I assumed that if everything were not okay here, my phone would have been ringing and my pager buzzing!" I couldn't hold back the sarcasm. One of my biggest problems is not being able to hold my tongue in an argument with my parents! My mouth always gets me into trouble!



"Go to your room! I don't want to see or hear you the rest of the night!" my mother shouted.



"Fine by me!" I stomped angrily past them into my bedroom and slammed the door shut, locking it as I did so. Dammit! Why do they have to do that everytime I am feeling happy once in a while? I didn't do anything wrong! I told them who I was going to be with and carried the stupid pager and the cell phone, what more did they want from me? I wasn't a child anymore but they never stopped treating me like one! I felt tears burning at the back of my eyes and i held my breath trying to hold them back. I hated to let them know they had me crying. Clenching my fists, I dug my nails into the palms of my hands and lay on my bed counting slowly in my head. God! I needed Ella right now! She was the only one that understood how I was feeling and how strong the urge to do something stupid was when I felt like this. I had not bothered to turn the light on hen I stormed into my room so I simply lay in the dark waiting for my anger to lessen, knowing that as the anger passed my sadness would increase. It was an impossible emotional train that I road everyday of my life. How much had Ella told Bianca about me? Did she know about the hospitalizations and treatment programs? Would she still want to be with me when she learned all about my "disorders," as they were so nicely called? What if she didn't call me tonight? With that thought, my mind swung out of the anger and sadness into the anxiety of having to wait until eleven! In the dark, I heard a sudden 'eek eek!' coming from across the room reminding me tha Ella may be the only PERSON that understood me, but not the only creature! I reached out blindly until I felt the chord to my lava lamp and turned it on. The light hit my pure black guinea pig's shiney eyes and I saw she was looking in my direction. "Hey Tasha! Did you miss mommy? You want to come out?" I talked quietly as I went to her cage, opened it adn scooped her out. She wriggled as I walked back to the bed but calmed immediately when I lay down with her beside me. She scampered up to my face and began licking my chin with her warm little tongue. I felt calm again and just pet her while she lay next to me. I must have dozed off because the next thing I knew my phone was ringing. Startled, I reached over to the bookshelf next to my bed where I kept my phone and knocked the phone onto the bed! Tasha began squeeking in protest to my disturbing her sleep and I grabbed for the receiver. "Hello??" I answered sounding like I had been drugged!



"Chrissy? You ok?" Bianca asked, sounding concerned.



"Yeah, I had fallen asleep. Can you hold on just a second so I can put Tasha back in her cage?"



Bianca laughed, "Sure!" I scooped Tasha up off the bed and took her back to her cage. She squeeled indignantly over being carried across the room then put back in. She felt she should live on my bed I think!



Returning to the phone, "Sorry! I didn't want to her to have an accident on the bed."



"Okay, so who's Tasha, why do you keep her in a cage and why would she have an accident?" she asked laughing.



"I'm sorry! My brain is just not functioning! Tasha is one of the guinea pigs. She was sleeping on my bed with me, well laying on the bed with me but I fell asleep."



"Sorry that I woke you."



"No, I don't usually fall asleep like that. When I got home I had an argument with my parents and have been sent to my room for the night. I was holding onto Tash to help me calm down and she calmed me down a little too much I guess!"



Bianca questioned, "An arguement? I thought you went home then so that you wouldn't get into trouble?"



I sighed, "I did but my mother started making comments about my not caring whether they were doing okay while I was out because I didn't call. I got mad and argued back so instead of losing the car privledge for coming in late, I am punished to my room for talking back."



"That is kind of lame though. Why would you have called just to see if they were okay? Are they sick or something?"



"No, my mom is just like that. To her, because I didn't call to check on them, it's like I was telling them that I cared more about you then about them. It's bizarre, I know." I was embarrased. How could I explain my mother's fear of losing me?



Bianca laughed, "Whatever! All parents are insane! So, are you feeling okay now?"



"Yeah, I'm fine. I just get upset when she accuses me of not caring because I do. When I get upset, I can't keep my mouth shut so I end up saying something that only makes her angrier."



"Well, try not to worry about it. We can talk until your parents are sleeping so then you won't have to feel alone or sad. So what if you have to stay in your room? What's so great about being out of your room anyways? If they want to be obnoxious, let them be obnoxious to themselves!"



I laughed. She had a different perspective on how to deal with parents! "Right, it's not like I would be doing anything out there that I can't do in my room. I usually spend the night reading and my books are all in my room so I can still read. My animals are in here with me and my phone is too. Not missing much by staying in here!"



"Glad I could cheer you up!" she said. We continued talking until past three in the morning. It was just basic talking about what we like to do usually during the summer, about our pets about my job and her work at her dad's office, but it felt good to just talk freely. After I hung up, I got my clothes out for the next day and fell sound asleep.

We lay quietly for a few minutes, each of us lost in our own thoughts. Bianca sat up and stretched, looked at the clock and said, "Wow! It's almost eight! We should go grab something for dinner! What do you feel like eating?"



I sat up, "Well, I think we have to do something about our attire before we head out, don't you? I doubt that very many places will let us come in dressed the way we are."



Bianca glanced down at her t-shirt as if she forgot what she had on. "Damn! You mean I can't just wear this old thing?" she said laughing. "I will go grab our clothes from the drier. Be right back!" Once more, she ran down the stairs. When she returned, she threw our clothes in a pile on the bed and began to sort them out. She apparently intended to just get changed right there! I turned quickly so that my back was too her and accidently banged my shin on the frame of Ella's futon. Bianca heard the metallic clang and asked, "What happened? Are you okay?"



Embarrassed and worried that she might try to come check me, "Yeah, I'm fine, just a clutz is all," was all I could reply. Feeling like I was in my high school gym class locker room, I dressed as quickly as possible trying to get as much clothes on while still wearing the t-shirt! I threw the t-shirt on the bed, pulled on my tank top then stepped into my shoes. "All set!" I announced.



I'm just about ready too. I have to find my shoes. I know I kicked them off!" she said and I turned to find her crawling around on the floor trying to find her shoes. I looked around to see if I could find them. "Hah! Got them!" she said triumphantly, coming back out from under the desk. She threw back her hair and stood back up, slipping into her sandals as she stood.



We left the house, locked it back up and got into her jeep. She pulled out of the driveway and headed back into the city. "So, what kind of food do you feel like having?" she asked me.



"Well, where are you heading? We can pick something that is in that area so we are not driving all over the city."



"I figured I would head back towards Mercer St. There are lots of different places to eat around there and all different kinds of feed to choose from. We should be able to find something to eat there."



"That's cool with me! What places have you ate from there before? Ella and I went to Tribal Fusion and the Tea Party before but that's all I had eaten at until I went to Bagel's East this morning with you." I told her.



"Let's see...I've had Tribal Fusion, Bagel's East, Curry Cafe, Tea Party and Paladian. I like Tribal Fusion though. Want to go there?"



"Sure! I love Middle Eastern food! I get their hummus wrap when I go with Ella. What do you get there?"



"I like their Spinach Pie," she told me. "It looks like a pizza except it has feta cheese and spinach on it and they give you hummus to dip it in."



I wrinkled my nose up, "Feta cheese? I can't stand that kind of cheese. It's so dry and crumbly!" i said expressing my displeasure.



Bianca laughed, "Well, I didn't tell you to eat it!"



We soon pulled back onto Mercer Street and the parking was just as difficult as it had been hourse earlier. After a few trips up the street and around the block, we finally got a spot. We walked up the street to Tribal Fusion, swerving in and out of the crowds of people on the sidewalk. We went in, got in line and each ordered our dinner. There were no tables inside so we went and sat on the steps of a nearby clothes shop that was closed for the evening. After we finished eating, we just sat watching the people go by for a little bit. I didn't want the night to end but I knew that my mother would begin her phone calls and paging soon and I really did not want Bianca to be witness to that! "I should probably head home. My mom will start to panic if I don't get back soon. If she panics, I get mad and if I get mad, I get rude which generally leads to my getting into trouble and not being allowed to use the car for a few days." I explained.



Bianca grabbed my hand, "We definitely can't have that happening now can we!" she said teasingly. "When can we get together again? I'm doing some 'volunteer' office work for my dad during the week but it's only from nine in the morning until two in the afternoon. What time did you say you worked?" sha asked me.



"I work Monday through Friday from nine in the morning until four in the afternoon," I reminded her.



"I could meet you up on the campus and we could go from there?"



"Tomorrow? Sure! That would be great!" Tomorrow? Of course I wanted to see her tomorrow! Tomorrow and the next day and the day after that!



"Great! Let me walk you back to your car."



We walked back the few blocks to my car and I opened the door. Before I could get in, Bianca grabbed my hand and pulled me against her. "I don't want to let you go," she whispered in my ear. She kissed me sweetly on the lips before releasing me from her arms.



"Believe me, Bianca. Leaving you right now is the last thing I want to do," I told her as I got into the car. "Can you call me tonight? It's my private line so you don't have to worry about bothering my parents."



She nodded. "I will give you a call around eleven because my parents will be asleep by then and they won't pester me with annoying things like warning me to listen for call waiting in case my dad's office calls! I will see you tomorrow. Where should I meet you on the campus?"



"Cool! Just go and have a seat in the dining area and I will come and get you as soon as I am done. Do you mind if I bring my friend Liz to meet you tomorrow? She works with me."



"That's fine, I don't mind meeting new people! Sometimes new people are fun to play with!" she said laughing.



"Well, Liz is expecting you to be completely nuts because she knows you are Ella's friend. I've told her about some of the things that Ella and I have done. You know, like handing out fliers on Mercer about how great animal testing is because we are so against it? Liz doesn't do things like that. So, however you are when you meet her, she will be expecting you to be insane." I warned her.



Bianca thought for a moment. "So the most fun would be if I looked and acted in what she would consider to be normal then, right?" she asked me.



I laughed, "Yeah, that would shock her!" I started my car and turned on the lights. "So, I will talk to you in a couple hours then?"



"Definitely!" she said as she reached in and hugged me goodbye.



I closed the door, opened the window and shifted into reverse. "Be careful driving home!" I told her. She laughed and watched me pull into traffic.

After several minutes passed, we both became very quiet, as if we realized the intensity of what had just been said between the two of us. Neither of us seemed to know what to do next. Bianca had just broken down crying admitting she liked me moments before and I had just finished yelling that I love her! The silence thickened around us as the moments slowly ticked past us. It was as if the silence was choking down all the words we wanted to say. I turned slowly onto my side and looked at Bianca. She continued to stare into the dusk as if she would find the answer somewhere hidden inside of it.



"You know that things can never be the way the were before," she informed me out of nowhere. "If we go forward, we can never go back. I could have handled liking you and knowing that you didn't feel the same, but knowing that you do share my feelings, I can never be 'just' friends with you again. It would hurt too much."



I reached out and placed my hand against her arm, "Bianca, I don't want to be just your friend. I want more, even though I don't know the first thing about being in a relationship! The way I feel when I see you, when I think of you, when I am with you are more then just those of a friend."



"You don't know everything about me yet Christina. If you cannot handle what I still have to tell you, then I know I will never see you again."



"I can't imagine there being anything that you tell me about yourself that I couldn't handle. I am a very open-minded person! I accept everything and everyone. I wouldn't care if you told me that you were an alien that flew in from Mars and that you had to return! I would simply pack my things and go to Mars with you!" I finished emphatically.



"Well, at least you are willing to accept the extreme so maybe there is hope!"



I began running my fingers slowly up and down her arm then ran my fingers through hers. She looked down at our hands locked together and smiled. She brought my hand up to her face and kissed the back of it lightly. Sparks like lighting raced through my body and I felt like I was not breathing. My breath became quicker and I felt the heat rising across my face. Bianca glanced over at me. "One more time Chrissy, are you sure this is what you want? Do you really want to be my girlfriend?" she asked.



"Yes Bianca! How many different ways can I say it! I want to be your girlfriend!"



"Can you handle being my girlfriend knowing that the world will treat you differently then they do know? Knowing that your own so-called friends could turn against you and leave you because you and I are together? Knowing that your own family may not be willing to accept you? This isn't easy Christina. I have had my heart broken by girls who were not able to take the problems that we will have to face. I am not saying that you need to start waving the rainbow flag over your head or shout from the rooftops that 'your here, your queer, deal with it' and I don't expect you to do this kind of change quickly. I know accepting that you are a lesbian isn't easy and it only gets harder if the people that you love and care about cannot support you. My parents refuse to accept what I am and will not discuss it. I am not allowed to have "those kind of friends" over their house. I don't know how your family will react, but can you handle it if things get bad or will you leave me because it's easier to live a lie?"



I could tell that she had thought about this a great deal and I respected her for asking me all of this, knowing especially that I had barely had the chance to comprehend myself that I was a lesbian. I didn't care though how society treated me, I never had. I was always the person I was regardless of what people said about me and I wasn't going to change that. "Bianca, I told you, my cousin has been out for about five years. I know how difficult it has been for her. I also know that if I lose friends because they learn that I am a lesbian, then they are not people that I want to be friends with. My parents accepted my cousin immediately. Granted, I am their daughter so I am sure the feelings will be stronger, but I know my parents well enough to know that they would never judge me based solely on who I want to be with. I am sorry that your parents treat you so badly about this, but I am not going to abandon you because of their, societies or anyone's closemindedness."



Bianca smiled at me, "I don't want you to enter into a relationship with me without knowing the difficulty of being in a lesbian relationship. I've been through this all before and it isn't easy, but if you're sure that you understand what this could be like..." she trailed off.



I smiled and leaned closer, "Read. My. Lips. I'm sure!"



Bianca laughed then reached out to hug me. She was right, even a simple hug felt different now. It wasn't that it felt wrong or strange, just that you could feel that it meant more to both of us to be in each other's arms. I held her in my arms, smelling the apple shampoo scent in her hair. I never wanted to leave her arms. Her hand reached up, and began stroking my hair. I leaned my head back into her hand, enjoying the feeling of her touching my hair. She pulled me closer to her, burying her face in my neck and hugging me tightly. I felt her turn her head to the side and her face was against my cheek. She began to lightly kiss my cheek and my heary began to race inside my chest to fast that I am sure she must have heard it thundering! She kissed my cheek, the tip of my nose then the other cheek before tiping my head back and kissing me on the mouth. I had never kissed anyone before, but it felt so right and so amazing. I kissed her back and we just kept kissing until I felt that I couldn't breathe! It was intoxicating.



"Wow! If I take your breath away from just that, what would have happened if I did anything else?" Bianca said laughing as I tried to breathe normally. My entire body felt like it was made of hot melted wax. "You do know that there's more than just little kisses to a relationship, right?" she asked jokingly. She was right, if I couldn't calm down when she touched me, I was going to die from pure happiness mixed with total love!



"Well, if you kill me, just be sure that I get buried near our statue!" I joked back.



She laughed, "Okay, I give you my word!" and held her hand up as if she were in court being sworn in.

She sat up and looked at me, her tear stained face no longer pale as she was flushed from how upset sher had become. "You still want to be friends? I promise I would never try anything!"



I reached over and wiped the tears from her face, "Of course I still want to be friends! I trust you Bianca. I know you never do anything to me." I stroked her hair as I spoke. She looked so sad, it made my heart ache. "I don't know what you see in me. I'm nothing special or pretty. No one has ever told me that they like me. Like I said before, I've never even been on a date. I don't know anything about dating."



"Chrissy, you are special and you are pretty! No one has ever accepted me so completely as you. You don't judge me or ridicule me, just take me as I am without question. You are so sweet and caring. How can you say that you're not special?"



I felt myself blushing once again. "Well, it's nice to know someone thinks so," was all I could manage to say.



"See! You're blushing again! I just think it's adorable that you do that whenever you get embarrassed!" she said as she tentatively reached out as if to touch my cheek. Her hand stopped and hovered in front of my face before she abruptly dropped her hand into her lap. "I'm sorry!"



"Bianca! Don't be sorry!" I took her hand in mine and brought it up to my face. "Go ahead," I told her as I placed her hand against my cheek. She ran her fingers slowly across my cheek, under my chin and down my neck before slipping her hand behind my head.



"Oh god Chrissy! I can't do this! You don't know how many times I've imagined holding you like this!" she took her hand away from me again as if she had been burned.



I caught her hand before she had gotten it far, "Don't Bianca. It's okay." I placed her hand on the back of my neck again. My heart was beating so fast that I could feel it in my throat. It seemed as if it would explode from my chest at any moment but I didn't care. I wanted her to hold me.



Bianca looked at me, her green eyes expressing a mix of desire and pain. "Chrissy, you don't understand. Touching you like this means more to me then just being friends. When I touch you, my skin feels like it's dancing and I don't want to stop. I don't want to hurt you, confuse you or so anything that upsets you. If I don't stop now, I think I will go insane."



I moved so I was closer to her, took her free hand in mine and laced my fingers through hers. "Then don't stop," I whispered. "Don't stop. You won't hurt me, I promise."



"Chrissy, do you realize what you are telling me? Do you know what you are saying?"



I looked at her, nodding my head, "Yes. I know what I'm saying. You're not the only one who has feelings Bianca. When you told me that you liked me, everything clicked and finally made sense to me," I told her. "I have never felt the way I feel for you for anyone else. I couldn't understand what I felt because I never felt it before, it was entirely new and confusing. When you told me how you felt about me, it was like you handed me the key to the code and everything came together in my mind. So, yes Bianca, I do realize what I'm telling you. Do you realize what I am saying?"



Bianca just looked at me. She was the one left speachless this time! "Chrissy, don't say this if you don't really mean it. Don't say it just because you don't want me to feel bad. I couldn't take it if you did that."



"Bianca, would you just listen to what I am saying! I don't want you to stop holding me! I don't want to just make you feel better! I don't hate you or want to get away from you! I love you goddamit!"



My outburst seemed funny to Bianca apparently because she started laughing and couldn't stop. I began to get aggravated, "What are you laughing at??"



"Chrissy, I have never seen you yell or get angry about anything. You are so mellow and easy going! So what's the first thing I hear you yelling about? That you love me! You screamed that you love me at me!" she lost it again and collapsed to the bed in a fit of laughter.



"Oh my god! I did! I can't believe I did that! It was...you just...I couldn't get you to listen to what I was saying!" The hilarity of the situation hit me and soon the two of us were laughing uncontrollably on the bed, tears streaming down our faces.

"Alright. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or feel like you have to pretend that everything is the same between us if it isn't. Just listen to what I have to say before saying anything, okay?" she said as she sat up with her back against the wall. "I'm not like other girls who get all crazy when some guy smiles at me. It does nothing for me. I've known all my life that I don't feel the same about boys as most of the girls I know. They don't give me butterflies in my stomach or make my skin tingle. They never have. I'm just not attracted to guys Christina. I like girls. I'm a lesbian," she stated emotionlessly.



"Bianca! Why do you think that would make me not want to be friends anymore? I'm not homophobic! I have an older cousin that has been out as a lesbian for about five years now," I told her as I leaned over and hugged her tightly. So she was a lesbian, no big deal. So why did I suddenly feel so jumpy and excited? Why did knowing this about Bianca make me feel better about myself? Why didn't I want to stop hugging her? This wa getting ridiculous! I forced myself to let go of Bianca and sit back down.



Bianca smiled briefly, "I'm glad that you are cool with me and my sexuality but there's more that you need to know. I don't know how to tell you it without just blurting it out so I'm sorry." She reached over, took my hands in hers, looked me square in the eye and told me, "Christina, I like you. Not just as a friend but like you as someone I want to go out with. I have liked you since the day Ella introduced us. I liked how you made sure that you included me in conversations you had with Ella, making sure that I didn't feel left out. You accepted me as Ella's other best friend and instead of showing any jealousy, you offered me your friendship as well. I like the way your eyes light up when you're happy and the way you blush whenver something embarrasses you-which is often! I didn't know what to do and I would do anything not to hurt you. I tried to tell myself that I didn't have these feelings, but I do. All day, all I could think about is how much I want to touch your face, hold your hands and kiss you!" Bianca let go of my hands, buried her face in her own hands and began to cry.



Dumbfounded, I was unable to think, speak or even move. Her tears snapped me out of my stupor. I moved closer to her, took her in my arms and began rocking her gently. Bianca liked me? How could she like me? I was nothing special and I certainly wasn't pretty? What was there to like about me? "Do you absolutely hate me?" Bianca asked, still crying.



"Hate you? How could I hate you for liking me? I could never hate you Bianca!" I told her emphatically. It was the truth. I could never hate her. My heart was racing as my mind was working overtime putting all the pieces together until the truth was so obvious that I was no longer able to deny it. Everything began to make sense: the desperate need to call Bianca that trumped my usual phone phobia; the nerves the night before; my strange behaviors and reactions all day. I couldn't hate Bianca because the truth was that I loved her! The realization about how I felt was overwhelming and once again I was unable to speak. If I loved Bianca, what did that mean about me? If I loved her did that mean I was a lesbian? At that moment I didn't care about why I loved her or what it all meant. All I wanted to do was help Bianca, calm her down and stop her from feeling so sad. "Bianca please stop crying. I'm not mad or running off. I'm right here with you."

I felt confused, intrigued and suddenly exhusted. This was just too much to take in all at once. I was unable to hold back a yawn. Bianca looked at the clock on Ella's dresser. "I'm going to go throw the clothes in the dryer then I will be right back. Just wait here and try and relax, okay?" Bianca ran from the room and I heard her feet rapidly beating a staccatto as she raced to the laundry room. Relax?? How could I relax? I was sitting in a house I had no permission to be in, dressed in only a t-shirt, with a girl I had only known for a month who just told me that she believes that we were brought together by some unknown force that we had no control over!!



After a few minutes, I could hear Bianca coming back up the stairs. She rushed back into Ella's bedroom and plopped back down on the bed. "Are you okay? Do you feel better now?" she asked.



"I don't know what I'm feeling. I am just so confused right now, " I told her in reply.



"I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to just blurt it out like that. I'm just not very good at being subtle I guess," Bianca said ruefully. "There's just so many things that I want to tell you and so much I want to say. I guess seeing you so upset and hearing you say that you thought I must be wishing that we had never met, made me panic," she explained. "I think we should just rest now. We can talk more after we've had a chance for our bodies to process all of it." She crawled across the bed, motioning for me to do the same. Drained, I dragged myself over and lay down. I felt her body against my own and she put her arm across my abdomen to hold me near her. I was asleep within only a couple of minutes.



When I awoke, it was darker in the room and I could sense that it was nearing sunset. At first I couldn't figure out where I was, but then I felt the warmth of Bianca's body next to me and it all came rushing back. I turned to face her and saw she was still sound asleep. Her skin appeared so pale in the dim light that she could have been a porcelain doll lying there. I reached out and lightly brushed her hair back from her face, then let my finger tips slide down her cheek. Her skin felt soft as a newborns. Timidly, I traced her lips, afraid she would awaken by my touch. I lay quietly watching her sleep, allowing myself to look at her unguardedly. Her red hair lay framing her head on the pillow, making her freckles more apparent on her pale skin. The thin t-hirt did ittle to hide the shape of her slender body. Her chest rose with each breath she took. My eyes followed her arms down the length of her body to her hips. My face flushed again as I saw that the shirt had crept up once more, leaving her barely decent. I reached over and tried to pull it back down so she wouldn't wake up and feel embarrassed.



"You don't have to worry about that," Bianca said suddenly. Startled, I pulled away and moved back.



"I wasn't...I mean...I was just...it wasn't what it looked like. I didn't want you to wake up and be inappropriate!" I babbled, embarrassed by how I'm sure it appeared when she woke.



Bianca laughed, "I didn't think anything other than that. That's why I said you didn't have to worry about it. You really are innocent aren't you?" She turned on her side and looked me in the eyes, "How many people have you dated seriously?"



"Why do you want to know that?" I asked, suddenly on the defensive.



"Because you seem so innocent, so easily embarrassed."



I don't see what that has to do with anything."



"Come on, I won't tease you or judge you. I'm curious, that's all. Please?"



"So I've never been on a date! So what? That doesn't make me a baby!"



"Relax, no teasing, no judging remember? You've never been on a date at all? Not even a casual, just-friends type date?"



"Never. None. Zero," I replied dryly.



"No wonder everything embarrasses you! You are completely innocent!" Bianca sounded excited.



"Glad you're so thrilled," I sarcastically replied.



"Wouldn't you be? It's awesome that you're not some slutty girl who's been with more people then she can remember."



"You don't think it makes me seem like a loser?" I asked, surprised.



"No way!" she reached over and hugged me. I hugged her back and she pulled the two of us back down, still holding me. We lay quietly like that for a few moments. Bianca began brushing my hair from my eyes. "If I tell you something now, are yo going to freak out again? I really don't want to keep scaring you like this," she asked me, sounding serious.



I laughed, "Well, now that you said that, you have to tell me because I will freak out wondering if you don't tell me!"



"I have no idea what you will think or how you will react. I just hope that you don't take off," she said looking at me intently. What could she possibly have to tell me? "There are things that you don't know about me, things that could change everything you have ever thought about me. What I want to tell you about me are things that only a very few people know. I have two things I need to tell you before our friendship can continue. I don't know which to tell you first. Either way, if what I tell you first makes you decide to end our friendship, their will be no point in telling you the second."



"I doubt that your secrets are as horrible as you seem to think they are," I told her in an attempt to lighten the conversation. "Everybody has secrets that seem so aful that they feel no one could tolerate knowing the truth. Secrets are easier to handle if you share them. I learned the hard way that some secrets were never meant to be kept. You don't know everything about me yet either," I reminded her.



"Believe me Christina, none of your secrets could compare to my biggest secret," she said. "I will leave it up to you. It's yours to decide. Do you want to hear the secret that could change how you view me first or the secret that could change everything you think you know first?"



"Well, the second sounds more like it's a secret that is less about you and more about the world or society or something, so I guess I'll choose door number one," I told her, still trying to take some of the seriousness out of her words. Nothing could be as bad as she thought I figured. Little did I know just how seriously one of her secrets would change my life completely!

We wound our way back out of the cemetary and back onto the streets. I looked down at my grimey hands, "Uggh! My hands are gross!"



Bianca looked at her own filthy hands, laughed and said, "I think we have the dirt from the statue embedded in our skin! We should clean ourselves up before trying to go anywhere else."



"Right, but where are we going to do that?" I asked. "I don't know about your parents, but mine will definitely want to know what I did to get this dirty. Somehow, I can't imagine telling them that I was cleaning a statue in a cemetary will go over too well with them."



"My father is a CEO so he never comes home witha spot on his suit. He never appreaciates my appearing looking "unkept" as he calls it," Bianca said sarcastically. "Don't worry. I know where we can go get cleaned up without having to deal with either of our parents or anyone at all."



"Really? Where?" I asked her.



"It's only about five minutes from here. We can get cleaned up, get a drink and rest a little before we decide what to do next," was all she said. I knew by now that unless she wanted to explain something, Bianca would only continue to give me cryptic responses if I asked more questions so I didn't bother. Bianca was set on going to this place in order to clean up so I just sat back and enjoyed the ride. Soon I began to recognize the route she was taking but it didn't make any sense to me still. We were heading in the direction of Ella's house, but since Ella was in Europe, I knew of no reason to be over there. Bianca continued to drive in the direction of Ella's house and we soon pulled into her driveway.



"Bianca? You do remember that they are in Europe, right?" I asked, completely confused.



She took her keys from the ignition and held one key up. "Yes, but I have a key!" she said triumphantly. "Come on! Ella won't care if we go inside and no one else will even know." She got out of her jeep and headed towards the back door of the house.



My parents would have thought cleaning a statue in a cemetary that is on the grave of someone that neither of us knew to be bizarre, but going into someone's house without their permission while they were out of the country would be considered illegal by their standards! I followed after her just the same. There was something about Bianca that had me doing things that I never normally would have done. We slipped through the back door into the kitchen and Bianca headed right for the back stairs and went up to Ella's bedroom. She tossed her sunglasses on top of Ella's dresser and opened up the top drawer. She pulled out two of the oversize t-shirts that Ella used to sleep in. "I'll be right back!" she said, taking one of the shirts and heading towards the bathroom. I couple of minutes later I heard the water running and realized that she was taking a shower and guessed that I was expected to go next judging by the second shirt she had left lying on top of the dresser. After about ten minutes, Bianca returned, her hair dripping, wearing Ella's shirt and carrying her own clothes. "We can throw our clothes in the wash and nobody will be the wiser!"



I figured I might as well get cleaned up and it seemed that no one was aware that we were there or, if they did, they assumed that we had a right to be there. I grabbed the second t-shirt and went into the bathroom. I turned on the shower, adjusted the temperature until it felt comfortably warm, took off my clothes and stepped under the water. I was in the middle of shampooing my hair when I heard the bathroom door open and Bianca saying, " Christina? I'm going to take the clothes down and start the wash so we won't be stuck here waiting all day," then the door closed. I finished showering, dried off and put the t-shirt on. I felt uncomfortable leaving the bathroom because Bianca had taken all of my clothes so I had nothing to wear under the t-shirt. I tugged at the bottom of the shirt so that it came down almost to my knees then went back to the bedroom.



Bianca was sitting on Ella's bed flipping through a magazine. She looked up as I walked in and smiled, "Feel better now that the graveyard dirt has been washed away?"



"Well, I kind of enjoyed the whole 'crawled out from my grave' kind of look I had going on," I replied dryly.



Bianca laughed, tossed the magazine back into the pile on the floor and patted the bed beside her. "Sit down." She grabbed a brush that Ella had left on her bed and asked eagerly, "Can I brush your hair? I love brushing people's hair!"



I sat down on the bed next to her, nervously pulling on the t-shirt's edge as I did so. "Sure but just warning you that my hair is always a tangled mess after it's washed," I told her.



"Don't worry, I won't hurt you," she said as she scooted behind me and knelt so she could brush my hair.



"I don't care if it hurts me. I just don't want you to get aggravated with it and feel you have to finish brushing it," I explained.



"It won't. I like a challenge," she replied as I felt her start brushing through my hair. She brushed very slowly and methodically and I felt myself relaxing. Nobody had brushed my hair since I was a child and I had forgotten how good it felt. "Do you mind if I braid it?" she asked after she had brushed it all out.



"It doesn't matter to me. My hair is just boring," I told her. "You're lucky! You have such nice hair. I love red hair! It is so much prettier then boring, mousey, brown hair like mine."



She laughed, "Nobody ever likes their own hair. Red hair makes people notice you more because it stands out." I felt her moving around behind me. "Okay, tilt your head back." Her fingers deftly parted my hair and she began braiding my hair. After a minute or two she told me I could tilt my head back up. When she was done, she came around and sat next to me again. "See? Not aggravated."



I glanced over at her smiling, "Thanks!" I noticed that the t-shirt had crept up on her legs and now barely covered her thighs. I felt myself blushing as I said, "Ummm...your shirt..." trailing off, unsure of what to say.



Bianc laughed and glanced down at her legs. "What/ My legs? You've never seen legs before?" She stretched her legs out in front of her, pointing her toes so her calf muscles were more pronounced. "Everyone has legs Christina."



I felt stupid for my reaction. She as right. Everyone had legs and obviously I saw legs before. It was summer for crying out loud, people wore shorts all the time! Why was I acting like this? She must think I am an idiot or a freak! I couldn't look at her. I didn't want to see the look on her face.



"Christina? What's wrong?"



"I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know why I am being so stupid." I felt tears well up, "Great! Now I'm crying like a baby! You must wish you never even met me!" I wiped angrily at my face, then kept my hands over my eyes as if by doing so, I could disappear.



"Chrissy don't cry!" Bianca reached over, wrapped her arms around me and drew me against her. "You didn't do anything wrong and you are not stupid. I am so glad that I finally got to meet you. I knew before I even saw you that we were meant to come together. I've waited for Ella to introduce us for so long. You and I are very much alike." She wiped the tears from my face gently, still holding onto me with her other arm. "Please don't be sad. I was just teasing you because you blush so easliy. You seem like you are a complete innocent. Even though you are a few years older than me, you seem younger and less tarnished by society."



Still refusing to look at her, I asked, "Why did you want to meet me? What do you mean that you knew that we were supposed to come together? Come together to do what? How could you have known anything about me without even meeting me yet?" I felt completly confused, as if her words were spoken in a code I didn't have the key to.



"I don't know how I knew. I just sensed it when Ella told me about you. It was as if her talking about you unlocked a memory I didn't know I had. I can't easily explain it. I just knew that we had to meet. I didn't want to rush Ella or push her into introducing us until she felt comfortable, so I've just been waiting for you." She tipped my chin up, "Chrissy please look at me."



I finally lifted my eyes up and saw a look of concern on her face. Her green eyes appeared troubled and she looked on the verge of tears herself. "I still don't understand. Why as it so important that we meet? Do you mean that you think that we were fated to meet, that we have been brought together by some kind of cosmic force or something?"



"I know it sounds crazy, but I do. I think that our lives have been meant to to bring us together. We were always intended to connect. Don't you feel it? It's like we have known each other our entire lives when we met only a month ago. It's like I told you at the cemetary, I knew that you would like it there they way that I do."

The cemetary was probably the biggest I had been in. It had gravestones dating back to the 1700's in some areas but there were graves from the present time as well. There were roads that twisted, turned and branched off all over the place giving the appearance that it was a giant maze. As we approached an area where the main road split off in three directions, Bianca slowed the car.



"Pick a road. Don't think about it, just go with your feelings, " she told me.



Okay, so now what was she doing? "Umm, far left," I decided.



Bianca immediately followed the road to the far left until it too reached an area that brached in different directions. "Which one?" she asked.



This was the craziest drive through a cemetary I had ever been on! Of course, I had not been in cemetaries unless I was attending a funeral or visiting a family members gravestone so this was entirely odd to me. "Go straight," I told her.



She repeated this everytime we reached a spot where you had to decide which direction to turn. By that point we were so far into the cemetary that I couldn't even begin to have found my way back out. Suddenly as we rounded a curve, ahead of us at the top of a hill, we could see part of a large statue behind the trees. Bianca became excited and pointed at it.



"That's it! We are there!" she said excitedly.



Had she made me pick all those directions when she wanted to come to this particular grave in the first place? Annoyed, I turned to her and asked, "Whose grave is it? Is this what you wanted me to see? Why didn't you just drive to it to begin with?"



She looked at me shaking her head, "No! I don't know whos grave it is either. I've never seen it. It's beautiful and hidden and perfect! We found it together and it will be ours now!"



"Ours?"



She pulled off the road, parked her jeep and hopped out. "Come on, let's get a better look!" she called to me as she began climbing the side of the hill. I got out of the jeep and followed after her. How could a grave be 'ours' now? She seemed stranger by the minute!



When we reached the top of the hill, the actual size of the statue was astounding. It was a statue of a female angel cradling a baby made of bronze and mounted on a bronze tier. It towered over us and was at least 11 feet tall. We both just stopped and looked at it for a few moments. The look on the angels face was one of such sadness that it made the area around seem sacred. We went closer to read the names and dates on the bronze tier.



"Abigail D'aleen born November 22nd 1853 died August 10th 1881," I read off of one panel. "She wasn't even thirty years old yet!"



Bianca began reading off another panel, "Robert D'aleen born May 17th 1832 died February 26th 1897. That must have been her husband."



I circled around the statue to a another inscription, "Diana D'aleen born August 10th 1881 died August 11th 1881. "



We turned and looked at each as the realization set in. "She was only two days old! That's so sad!" Bianca said, coming closer to see the inscription.



"Wait a second," I went back to the first panel I had looked at. "Oh my gosh! She died so young cuz she died giving birth to Diana!"



Bianca rushed over to read the inscription again. "That's the saddest way to die, knowing you will never live to see the baby you are giving birth to. Poor Diana! Then she died almost right after! That's so horrible!"



I looked around the hill top and saw that the D'aleen statue was the only grave in site. The area was surrounded by tall trees and I couldn't even see Bianca's jeep even though I new it was parked at the bottom of the hill. "Do you think anyone ever visits their grave?" I asked.



Bianca looked around, then looked up at the statue. "I don't think so. See? There are spiderwebs all along the wings and the arms. If I were coming to visit someones final place of rest, I would make sure that it was clean and cared for better than that. The husband was probably the only family member left and after he died, nobody was left who cared to come and visit them." she explained.



This only made me feel sadder. To be so alone in death that nobody came to even pay respects to you seemed so lonely to me. Bianca began picking up some broken branches that were under the trees. She used them to swipe off the spider webbing she could reach. I began wiping off the top of the tier and pulling the dead leaves that had gotten caught some past fall between the legs and feet of the angel. It seemed so wrong that there was nobody who cared enough to be sure it was taken care of. We worked quietly for several minutes before Bianca broke the silence. "I think this is as good as we can get it using twigs and branches, "she stated matter-of-factly.



I nodded my head in agreement. "We need something that we can wipe it down with."



She raced up to me and grabbed my hands in hers, both of us so grimy now that our hands looked gray. She looked me in the eyes and said excitedly, "I told you it would find us! This is meant to be ours! We will take care of it and visit it!"



"How did you know we would find something like this though?" I asked her feeling excited but still confused.



"I like to come here and look at the old statues and when we were working on the necklaces, it just suddenly came to me that you would like it here. I just felt that if I brought you here, we would find something that would tie us together. I don't know how I knew that or why I thought it then, but I just did," she said, letting go of my hands and dropping down onto the grass.



Sitting down next to her, I reached into my pocket and withdrew the necklace I had made for. "Can I give this to you now?" Bianca smiled and nodded at me. I went to hand it to her but she shook her head.



She lifted her hair off her neck and turned slightly, "Can you put it on for me?"



I held it around her neck and tried to loop the clasp. My hands were shaking slightly so it took a few tried. "Sorry." Why was I shaking like that? What is there to be afraid of in putting a necklace on for someone? My hands were probably just shaky from working on the statue.



"For what?" Bianca said as she turned back facing me. "How many times have u had trouble closing a clasp on a necklace on yourself? Everyone has trouble with them sometimes." She reached into her pocket and took out the necklace she had made for me. Not giving me time to turn for her, she looped the necklace around the back of neck so that the clasp was in the front. Her fingers grazed against my collarbone as she did the clasp on it and I felt my arms cover in goose bumps as a shiver shot through me. Bianca noticed my shiver and looked up at me, "You ok? You're not feeling sick are you?"



Embarrased, I replied quickly, "No, no i feel fine. It was just that it tickled kind of when you touched my neck." I felt my face getting hot and I knew I was turning red.



Bianca laughed, "Guess it's my turn to say sorry now!" She popped back up from the grass then grabbed my wrists to pull me up. "You ready to go for now?"



I dusted my shorts off to get rid of the bits of grass that were clinging to them from sitting on the ground. "Sure."



We walked down the hill and got back into her jeep. "Now we just have to find our way out of here," Bianca said as she started her jeep up.

Bianca came striding down the street, her long red hair blowing out behind her in the breeze she created with her quick steps. I realized I had made the right choice in my outfit when I saw she had on a warn pair of blue jeans, black sandals and a black tank top that was nearly the twin of the one I had on! She stepped into Bagel's East, ran her long, thin fingers quickly through her hair and pulled off her black sunglasses. Her green eyes caught my hazel ones and she broke into a smile and headed towards where I was sitting.



"Hey Christina! Have you ordered any food yet? I'm starving! Where did you find a parking spot? I had to park about three and a half blocks away!" Bianca spoek so fast that I didn't even have time to answer the first question before she had asked me the second!



"I haven't ordered yet, just bought a soda so I didn't look dumb sitting here, I told her. "I parked about two blocks down the street."



"Have you ate here before?" she asked me.



"No. I've never been inside before today," was my response.



"Come on up to the counter with me and we can order lunch. I'll tell you which ones are good!" she said as she pulled me up by my wrists.



We went up and as I was reading the menu up on the wall behind the counter, Bianca was letting me know her favorites. She ordered an asiago cheese bagel with vegetable cream cheese and a soda while I chose the asiago cheese bagel with sun-dried tomato cream cheese. We took our food back where I had been, and sat down.



"Thank god! I am so hungry!" Bianca said as we began eating.



We ate quietly for a few minutes. The bagel was really good and I was glad that it gave me some time to relax before trying to talk.



"So what do you feel like doing?" I asked after we were done with lunch.



"Want to go to the bead store down the street? Have you been there before?" Bianca asked me.



"I went with Ella a few times," holding the glass beaded necklace away from my collarbone, I said "She made this necklace for me."



Bianca leaned forward and ran her fingers over the cool smooth beads. "Rad!" She bounced out of her chair. "Come on! Let's go!" She grabbed her sunglasses off the table and put them on as we headed out the door.



We walked quickly down the street to the bead store. It was only about 5 buildings down so it only took a couple of minutes. The bead store is tiny but packed with tables and shelves of beads of every size, shape, texture, color and material you could imagine as well as with different findings, clasps, cords, threads and chains that you would need to make beaded jewelry. We scurried around the store, picking through the beads trying to decide what we were going to make.



Bianca turned to me and said excitedly, "Why don't we make each other matching necklaces?"



"Really? That would be awesome!"



We raced through the store, picking out beads, trying out different combinations until we found what we felt was the best one. We decided on getting a container od jet black seed beads as our base beads, then we selected 6 japanese fire beads in a vibrant purple, 6 tear drop shaped silver beads and we chose charms that had out zodiac sign on for the center bead. We selected a fine silver threading and a silver clasp then went to the counter to buy all the stuff we had compiled. After completing the purchase, we headed to the back tables and worked diligently to make them turn out as beautiful as we saw them in our on minds.



When we were finished, we headed out of the store holding our newly completed necklaces. I turned to give Bianca the one I had made for her but she stopped me.



"Why don't we wait until we get where we are going next, ok?" she said.



"Where we were going next? "Where are we going next?"



"You'll see! Is it okay if we leave your car here for awhile? I will drive you back later to pick it up."



"Sure, that's fine." Where was she planning on taking me? Why did we have to wait until getting there to exchange the necklaces?



We walked down the street to her jeep. She cleared off the passenger seat so I could get in. She waited for traffic to let her out of her spot on the busy street then pulled out. She drove pretty fast and somewhat crazily through the city. I wasn't used to people driving like that it gave me a rush to know we were at risk of being hurt or killed anytime. I loved taking risks with my life. It always made me feel more alive.



I looked around as the car began to slow trying to figure out where she was driving to. There was no place in sight that I could imagine being our place of destination. All I saw where expensive houses, a hospital building and a cemetary. The car slowed then turned into the driveway of the cemetary and i was completely confused. Why were we going to a cemetary and why did we need to go there to exchange the necklaces? Maybe Liz was right. Maybe Bianca was somewhat crazy!



"Umm...what's in here to see?" I asked hesitantly.



"We will find it when it wants us to, " she replied mysteriously.



What wants us to find it?? Were we looking for a zombie or a mummy? Did she think we would find a ghost looking for us here? Why didn't I take my own car?? Now I was stuck miles from my car in a cemetary with a girl I had only met about 3 weeks ago. I had my cell phone but if I had to call my parents to come pick me up from a cemetary, they would NEVER let me leave the house again!

The rest of the week dragged by and I was reminded of how I had felt as a child waiting for the big school field trip. By Saturday night, I was a total nervous wreck! I couldn't figure out what to wear because, other than having something to eat, I had no idea what we would be doing or where we would be going. I emptied half of my closet out putting together outfits during the middle of the night when the rest of my family were sleeping. I didn't want them to know how anxious I was about meeting up with Bianca the next day. With my luck, my mother would become paranoid and insist that I bring my younger sister with me! I finally fell asleep just after five in the morning when the sun was already rising in the sky.



"Oh make me over!" the radio blared and woke me up only four hours later. Half-asleep, for a moment I couldn't figure out why I was being woken at such an ungodly hour on a Sunday. As I sat up, I saw the blue jean shorts and black tank top sitting on top of my desk where I had set them earlier after finally deciding to wear them. Instantly, all sleepiness was gone as I sprang out of bed, grabbed my clothes and ran to the bathroom. I showered, dressed and brushed my teeth quickly. I gave up trying to make my hair look cute after my fifth attempt at styling turned into a giant tangled mess. I pulled my hair up into a plain ponytail, grimaced at myself in the mirror, then returned to my room. I put on my favorite clunky sandals that stretched my already tall five foot eight inch body to nearly six feet. Rifling through my makeup, I was unsure of whether I should get all done up or just put on a quick coat of lipstick. Would Bianca be all made up? I didn't want to look overdone so I grabbed my deep burgundy lipstick and applied it evenly over my lips. Dressed and ready! I checked the clock and saw it was just past ten in the morning. It would take me only fifteen minutes to drive to Mercer Street but parking was always horrible so I decided to leave then. My parents were still sleeping so I went quietly into their bedroom to let them know I was on my way out.



"Dad? I'm getting ready to leave to meet Bianca," I whispered quietly. "Just wanted to let you know."



"Alright hun. Does your mother know you are going?" awake instantly, he asked.



I sighed, " Yes dad. I told the both of you several times. Bianca is Ella's other best friend. We are keeping one another company during the summer while Ella is in Europe." Did he ever actually listen to anything that I said?"



"You have your cellphone?"



"Got my cellphone and my pager. Don't worry, as usual you can keep track of me," I replied sarcastically. I was 21 not 12!



He spoke louder, "Don't get smart! We only worry because we love you."



"I know dad, sorry." I would have apologized for anything by that point! I just wanted to get out of the house!



"Drive careful and have a good time, " he said, leaning up to give me a kiss and hug goodbye.



I kissed his cheek and gave him a quick hug, "Okay dad. I will. Tell mom I love her and I will see her later."



I walked through the house, down the stairs and jumped into my car. I turned the car on, cranked the radio and blasted the air condition, then backed out of the driveway.



I zipped through the narrow city streets and got to Mercer Street quick enough. As usual, the streets were pacled so I began to sleowly circle the blocks waitng for a car to pull out. After about five minutes, I got lucky and as able to get a parking spot only about two blocks from the bagel shop. I checked the clock: 10:42am it blinked. I was getting worried now. What if she forgot? What if we had nothing to talk about without Ella there? Maybe this was all a big mistake. It was toolate now. I took some deep breaths, checked my hair and make-up and grabbed my keys. I made sure all the doors were locked then walked slowly up the street to Bagel's East. When I got there, I looked around and saw that Bianca wasn't there yet so I went in, got a soda and took a seat by the window so I would be able to see her when she came in.

It was only Wednesday and I didn't think Sunday would ever come. I worked every weekday from nine in the morning until four in the afternoon so at least that helped pass some of the time. I wasn't sure what to expect on Sunday. Bianca was so different. I tried to talk to my friend Liz that I worked with. She had met Ella a few times, but she kind of thought Ellas was strange so she didn't really seem supportive of my plans to hang out with Bianca.



"So what is she planning for fun?" Liz asked sarcastically. "Harrassing strangers for the hell of it? How about getting the attention of everyone nearby by dressing like a prostitute and strutting around the city carrying a live chicken?"



"You've never met her so why are you being so judgemental? Why do you just assume she's going to do something bizarre?" I argued defensively. "So what if she does like doing different things? Is is wrong to be different? Is it wrong to want to do things that are unexpected?"



"Being different is one thing. Doing things that border on insane is another," was her response.



"Never mind! Obviously this is useless," I replied irritably. "You've already made up your mind, so just forget it."



"Look, I'm just saying that I don't think she's got all her screws tightly bolted in place. There's something weird about Ella and from what you've said, Bianca's even more bizarre," Liz told me. "I don't want to see you getting pulled into some lame-brained scheme that gets you into trouble."



I was getting really mad. Who the hell did she think she was? I wasn't a little child who couldn't make their own decisions! "I'm not an idiot you know!" I shouted.



"Relax, I'm not saying you are stupid. I just care about you and don't want to see you get hurt, okay?" Liz came over and hugged me. "You're right. I don't know Bianca and you do."



I felt the anger leaving my body as I smiled and returned the hug, "Thanks for caring about me. If you are right, you can feel free to get all happy with the 'I told you so's,' okay?"



Liz went and sat at the desk laughing, "Okay, but remember, you gave me permission!"



"Deal!" I said as I got the phone that had begun to ring.