So I’m on the computer working in PhotoShop, when I get an IM from a friend. She and I exchange pleasantries for a little bit and shoot ideas off one another for a little bit about our mutual hobby. Then comes the question that I honestly thought I would hear in a normal day to day conversation. She asks me “SO would like to help me kill zombies Saturday night?”
Of course the question caught me off guard a little bit. So I asked for a little bit more information. Again, as if this is an every day occurrence tone of voice, “My friends and I are going to get together and kill zombies Saturday night. I would like you to come along. Besides I think you’ll get a kick out of it.”
I knew that I was going nuts. She had invited me to join her friends to go kill zombies with her friends. I knew that she wasn’t into tabletop role playing games and there were no official group LARPs that night. I was stumped. Being the inquisitive one I had to ask. What something like this is going to cost. I mean something as fun as hunting down and killing zombies has to cost something.
The answer was night short of true comedy. “Oh it’s $20 for the night” she started and before I could even get a word in she adds, “If you die you get a $5 refund!” I couldn’t resist letting out a small laugh. I can just see the FBI or whoever listening to that part of the conversation. How would that be read in court? “The lady claimed that if he were to die he would be refunded $5.” I didn’t know that zombies needed money. Of course I really wasn’t aware that there was a big market for brains. At least those you need to buy.
It was then explained to me that it is a new “ACTION LARP” not like the old style sword and shield style but a LARP that has been brought up to today’s day and age. It is boffer swords and NERF guns in a private house. Oh joy I get to do live action resident evil!!!
The first thing is to get weapons. So the G/F and I hit the local Walmart for household supplies and I make a stop by the toy department. Being the typical male, I go for the largest, most ammo pumping, and expensive NERF gun there is. Those zombies aren’t going to stand a chance with me and one of these. But my dreams of heroically standing on top of a pile of rotting zombie courses holding a KillBlaster 30,000 was shot down by the voice of reality claiming that $30 was way too much to a stupid toy gun.
It was then that the inner battle started. The kid in me wanted to jump up and down, scream and shout, but the adult in me could see the point. $30 for a gun was a bit too much. Somehow she used she female powers of sex and guilt to talk me down to a more reasonable gun. Something in the range of $6. I knew that if I couldn’t have the KillBlaster 30,000 I would at least need extra ammo for my single shot noisy cricket and got a small bag of ammo. It turns out that the extra ammo was $8. I could have bought a second fricken gun for that!!!! Still we had the supplies and we head to the checkout line.
Now I should explain that this is a super Walmart. It is open 24 hours a day. We have learned through trial and error that the best time to shop there is at midnight. There is a lot less people, and those few people who are there are as crazy as us, if not more. Also you get the fresh and new stuff, because that is when they restock everything. Just don’t ask for help from anyone at that time. And there are only going to be 2 or maybe e lines open.
We find and open line and wait out turn. As we are waiting in line, more people file in behind us. The couple right behind us sees the NERF gun and bag of extra ammo. He asks if that is a late Christmas present for the kids. I respond that we don’t have any kids and the G/F pops up with “It’s for him” in an almost cold voice. I need to recover from this blow to my male ego and say the only thing that came to my mind. “I’m going to kill zombies with it.”
Okay not the brightest of responses but it did get his attention and his wife’s and a few passer-by’s who manage to hear the words ‘kill’ and ‘zombie’. I then went on to explain about the game and other groups in the area. I also told how that they were wonder for aggression therapy and one hell of a work out. He pretended to be interested in what I was saying and even told me that he had always wanted to do a 10 pace dual with them sometime in the future. I can only imagine what they were truly thinking about me and my crazy hobby.
Still now I spend the day getting ready to save the world from the onslaught of undead. I start by cleaning the house and then ready my weapons for the kill. Wish me luck for if I should die during this trial, I’ll become one of the most feared monsters even known… A zombie with a $5 refund………
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