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Why wont my wall stand tall?

The bricks keep crumbling down

And crashing everywhere around me.

This is the first time

That when I've tried to build a wall

Between someone else and me

That it isn't working and just keeps tumbling down.

It scares me to death

That I can't do this.

That I can't stop myself from attaching to you

In that kind of way.

I want it to stop

I want this to just all go away,

But for some reason

The pieces wont stay.

The stone to separate us two

Wont stick together.

I stack them upon each other,

But it just falls back down.

Your last breath breathed,

The very last time you exhaled

Was taken away.

Stolen from you.

I wish I could give them all back.

To have all of them breath one more.

Long lives that could have lived,

But instead they were killed.

Murdered, stripped away of your lives.

What could have been

Is gone forever

And I'll never see you again.

Two months before you were robbed

You told me that I would see you soon,

But I didn't expect it to be while you were asleep

And never expected to awaken.

Cautiously she crosses his path,

Making sure not to look him in the eyes.

He makes her weak,

Breaks her apart

With just a smile.

She can't though,

She wont allow herself to.

There is no way that she'll

Fall in love with him

Even though she's already started to.

When they talk,

Her heart beats fast.

When he enters the room,

Her stomach starts to flutter.

But every time he comes around,

Evey time they hang out,

She gets this fear

That she is going to lose him forever.

That he'll never want to see her face

Or be in the presence of her body.

She fears

That one day

He'll let her fall and break

And wont even bother

To help pick up the pieces.

It's so hard to hold on,

When you really just want to let go.

When it feels useless to try and stay strong

Because everything starts to seem unbearable.

It would be a relife

To just escape

And to be free.

But instead I hide behind a mask.

I lie to everyone I pass.

Everyone that I see and sees me,

Everyone that I love and care about.

What would happen if I let go,

If I loosened my grip?

People everywhere

Say they're here to help.

But it's hard to ask for help

When I'm scared to ask for help.

When I'm afraid to let people know

What's going on inside my head

But instead of asking for help,

I just try to hold on

As tight as I can.