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Laying in the snow,

With the snow flakes falling all around

I stair up into the sky with an open mind.

Thinking of anything and everything,

But at the same time thinking of nothing.

Feeling invincible,

I can do anything.

I could be with wind blowing through the trees,

Or the fire to a lit candle.

I'm only myself,

Not someone else

And I love how free it feels

To just be me.

I learn from my mistakes.

I make the choices I feel are right,

Even when they might be wrong.

I'm proud to be me

And nothing else.

Taste the alcohol as it slides down your throat.

Trying to let its side effects carry you off into a more peaceful state of mind.

Calming down,

Relaxing,

And just going with the flow.

Frightened,

Terrified,

And scared out of my mind.

The walls are falling,

I can feel it.

I'm starting to because vulnerable to him again.

Him and I don't,

Can't

Get tangles up in something like that.

I couldn't do that to him.

The consequences if all of the walls fall down

Could or would be a lot worse than if we were just the same.

This wouldn't be a problem at all if only I were at the same level.

I'm scared,

Not only for me,

But for him as well

If our walls actually do

Fall down.

I took the time

And I took deep breaths.

I was actually able to relax.

The urge to cut

And abust myself was fought.

I've made it a step farther

The the process of healing.

Cuts were never formed,

No scars to be left behind.

It wasn't easy,

But it wasn't hard either.

It feels like I've actually been able to succeed

In a new way of coping

A better,

Healthier way.

I'm very proud to be me right now.