and again this site has some major problem, lol whats fucking new
you know what all i feel inside at this moment is emptiness, i cant concentrate on anything im so pissed off cause there is nothing to do, i just wanna scream and shout until i loose my voice, im so fucked up, trying to stop people in work from asking questions takes alot out of me, my joints ache like mad to the point where i just wanna break them in half.
IM SO FUCKING LONELY BUT THE THING IS THAT IVE BEEN ALONE FOR SO LONG NOW THAT I CANT EVEN CARRY ON A CONVERSATION MORE THAN SAYING HI AND HOW ARE U, IM JUST NOT BOTHERED ANYMORE, I HAVE LOST THE WILL TO DO ANYTHING WITH MY LIFE AND ALL I WANNA DO NOW IS JUST KICK AND HIT AND JUST FUCKING JUST AHHHHHHHHHH I DUNNO I JUST WANNA DO SOMETHING BEFORE I GO COMPLETELY OFF THE RAILS.
i was reading in the paper today aswell bout knives again, people getting stabbed and everything blah blah blah
they were using fucking kitchen knives, they dont use these collectable ones, its daft at least in a knife shop they ask you for I.D, in fucking marks and spencers or some other shit shop a kid can walk in and buy a kitchen knife no problem, what the hell is that all about.
well lets see whats been going on all
not much at all really, same old shit still lonely and somewhat miserable.
been into town the last 2 satuardays, its been ok a bit boring cause i went by myself but still good to get out the house and away from where i live for a while.
work is still crap but now there is no work out there hardly so its just a long long day.
well this house is ffalling to pieces, the kitchen roof is leaking and now my ceiling is starting to crack, what else can go wrong i wonder, maybe it will collapse on me in the night and put an end to my msery cause thats all im experiencing at the moment is misery.
been thinking loads lately and just wondering what i have done with my life and where it is going from here and honestly i cant see it going any further at all, its just going to be the same shit time and time again and its getting boring and im getting tired.
i just wanna sit back and just let life pass me by without a care in the world, i miss my friends my rat and my guine pig, they were my best friends and they are gone i hated those days i cud not stop crying for days, i still do now when i think off them.
i wish i was never put on this earth, there is no purpose for me being here at all, i dont think i want a purpose to be honest.
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