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got the second part of my tattoo done yesterday night



still a lil sore but it looks great, ill put pics up later on over the weekend i hope, the start of my new portfolio, just hope the dam thing doesnt get infected, i followed the after care tips leaflet he gave me to the letter so all i can do is wait and see



none of mine have been infected yet (touch wood) lol

paintballing tomorrow cant wait its going to be loads of fun, then a new tattoo on thursday, well its the second part of one i got done bout a week and a half ago so shud be loads of fun.



not uch else going on here really just been boring, got to do more on this course im doing cause i aint done any in ages lol, works been a bit tiring and i just aint been in the mood for it really but i will get more of it done lol.



need to clean my swords and knives too but illo that get to that no problem.

i just wanna go away for a while and figure out who i am cause at the moment i aint got a clue



this world is boring me so much lately, the internet my one escape is now just as boring as everything else



i talk to friends less and less each day now and its just really getting to me, i even seem to have less and less friends each day, it both does and doesnt bother me cause im use to being alone anyway but its just i dunno just annoying.



i really feel like i dont belong anywhere anymore, i wish i cud find a place to where things just come natural, but my nature is just so different to anyting else on this planet its just to hard to fit in with anyone, even to try and make friends anywhere is just so hard that i find its really not worth the effort anymore.

got a new tattoo the other night, it looks great if not weird but then hey its me we are talking bout here, im doing my whole arm in symbols that i drew, ive got the wrist part of my arm done so far im having the upper arm done 2 weeks tomorrow so i cant wait :)



i got a paintballing game coming up a week sunday too so i cant wait for that, there is going to be loads of pain given from me on that day lol.



oh and i got to laugh to, the guy who beat me up bout a year and a half ago killed himself a while back which made me just laugh out so much, god it was funny, but they have done a kind of forum on him on the papers website where people can leave their messages and i got to tell u what a load of shit they are saying.



stuff like, he was well loved and a great member of the community and a law obiding citizen lol bullshit, i was going to leave a post on there with a copy of the arrest report on him but nah cause that will just cause more trouble and that is something i dont want, the bastard is dead and thats good enough for me, one more scum sucking asshole off the street.

what can i say, the weekend is upon me again nothing to do at all but nevermind, still sad and still just well u know just here



i know everyone says u shudnt be upset and just be happy and i do try its just im one of those people that needs companionship, u know i dont like being alone, i can handle it but its just not a good thing im not dependant on people for things like food and all that its just i wud love a cuddle now and then and just to be with someone.



work is ok i guess, i mean it takes my mind off stuff so i dont mind it.

this site is getting worse



yeah i know he is working on the server change over and all that and i know its a big job and everything



well here is my point, instead of all these errors coming up time and time again why not i dunno maybe take the site offline until the server change is done, wud be far much easier.



i dunno its just so annoying cause i keep getting booted from this site maybe 4 times in one evening and then there is the famous page can not be displayed and when that happens the whole site messes up and its just stupid.

kids, i hate fucking kids, babies and all that aree just the most horrible things in the world



i work in a factory u know the kind, noise and loads of stuff just everywhere and whenever some ones aughter or cousin or whatever has a kid they bring it in the factory to show off, what the hell is the point, i mean if the kid gets hurt or anything then they will be the first to blame the factory, what kind of idiots are they for fuck sake.



oh and another thing why th hell are men and women just so fucking amazed when they find out someone or their girlfriend or wife or whatever is pregnant they fucking go mad about it, WHO THE FUCK CARES its just a stupid kid there are loads of the fuckers about for fuck sake just get a life.

well its been an interesting weeken to say the least nothing to exciting has happened but then nothing happens on my weekends, just come on here and try to make new friends.



the one thing im so sick of is people on these singing competitions on tv like american idol and those other ones, they really piss me off cause as soon as they become someone u know what they do, they sing other famous peoples songs and they do it extremely badly aswell, they should make their own song cause they cant make anything of themselves by just copying other peoples.



it just really pisses me off but then again all reality shows piss me off and they are a total waste of money.

i hate feeling pain, emotional pain its just not a good thing to feel at all, i shud be used to it by now cause its all ive ever felt though i aint had loads of relationships the few that i have had a felt a real and true connection and they say that is rare so why is it that they always end and im just left with my heart broke again and again and again.



i always get to the stage where i see people together and wish i had that , there are somethings then that put me off having a relationship, i start talking to a girl and we click just like that without any explanation, i dunno i guess i just hurt easily when it comes to emotions i just hate love so much right now it gets me so depressed, really down to where i just start to cry endlessly and then all the other troubles get through aswell from school right up to then and when all that hits its just so unbearable.