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well i got a new sword yesterday and im getting another one today so i cant wait, its only money so i dont care, nothing much matters anymore.



not much else going on just work which is really boring at the moment, if it goes like it did yesterday then well im going to fall asleep, i just wanna, well i dont really know.



i miss some of my friends on here, i miss jenny the most.

cant wait till this week is over, not long till i get a week off, hopefully during that week i can get some more tattoos done, eventually going to have my arms done almost completely.

really upset now, basically relationship is over again and it aint going to happen again for a long time, ive been crying for the last 30 mins and i got no one to talk to, not that it wud make a difference anyway.



i just really wanna go to sleep and never wake up, i just aint got any pills left to do it, my heart is torn apart, broken with hardly no chance of it being repaired, i hate love but i still love her so much she is everything to me :(

well after 5 mins of waiting this site finally decided to log me in, took 3 attempts but there we go



this is the third day in a row that i have had problems with this site and its really fucking annoying me now, if it keeps happening im going to make a forum post to see how many others are having these problems cause if its just me well its just rediculus.



wont let me open the profile page, wont let me open the last 10 link, and most times it wont even let me log in, it takes the piss big style.



maybe its just me, my profile has some bugs on it and if thats the case i would like something done about it so maybe i can actually enjoy coming on here without something major happening like the page suddenly freezing and there for it not letting me access anything on the site.



i never use to have these problems and nothing on my end has changed its just really annoying, i know the sites alot of work and all that and little errors happen but to me its happening every day now and im sorry but that aint meant to happen at all.

well what can be said, its the weekend and i aint in cardiff or swansea i aint been going there much at all, everyone asking me if im alright and well i aint



at the end of the day im an asshole, im a bastard but i am not like all the other guys out there, no matter what anyone says i will never believe that cause no one truely knows me and i dont think that anyone ever will.



ill probably just be on here most the time if the site doesnt throw me off or freeze like its been doing to me lately, but there we go what a load of fun thats my life in a nut shell, its too hot and sunny to go out cause i hate the sunlight, if there was cloud cover then it wud be different.



at the end of the day i just want to be happy, but thats just a dream ill probably be searching all my life for happiness which i will never find, ill never find it here where im living anyway.

right im sorry to everyone who hates me ok, i dont mean for u to hate me but its fine at the end of the day cause i dont really care.



i need to figure some stuff out, i just told my ex to get out of my life and she wont even do that i know she will keep on texting me and calling me and its not what i need, ive regressed to what i was before, lost and just annoyed the only thing thats different now is im not going to be silent about it, im going to say what i think and what i want and if no one likes it they can just ignore me, no point telling me cause i dont care its my opinion and its the only one that matters to me.



i probably will never figure out who or what i am but there we go i will still search for the answer, even if i have to face death to get it i will.

well its a fucking hot day today



was meant to be going into town on the train to see some mates, it takes me bout 3 hours to get there.



all i did was walk down to the station, its bout a 20 min walk, by the time i got there i was close to passing out, had to stay in the shade for 10 mins to get the stength back to walk home, its way too hot for me i mean a bit of cloud cover or a light breeze and i wud have been fine, all of us sit out in the open so i wud never have stood the heat.



thing is its meant to be like this for a while and i got work to go back to aswell, i dont think ill survive a day in work in this kind of heat.