The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

well satuarday i went into town on the train and it was packed as u can imagine cause of late shoppers lol



on my way back to the train i saw this homeless guy and he was staring at the christmas display outside a church with a song playing aswell and i was wondering what he saw that no one else did, it was amazing cause it looked like he was looking into it and seeing a totally different meaning to christmas.



i though bout that the whole way home, stilln wonder bout it now, i dunno why

i have a habbit for pushing the good things in my life away, someone i truely care for loads included and i didnt even mean tom its just cause i got scared bout how much they cared for me, good one phil.

well well what to say, coming up to christmas what joy eh lol



not at all, they say its a time for miricles and stuff yeah, well lets see if thats true, apart from my family ill be spending christmas alone woo hoo just like every other one that came before this one, suppose i got no right to complain as some people aint even got a family and stuff, sorry if thats u whos reading this now



no news really, continuing the pretence in work only to stop them from questioning me and worrying bout me cause thats the last thing that i want, id rather keep myself to myself apart from my friends who i trust on here.



aint spoke to jenny in ages and im missing her like loads, dunno if shes still on now or not, she makes me laugh and i like her company a great deal when we talk on here :)



miss jay and vanessa too, aint talked to them much at all so i hope that they are doing ok.



anyway i aint got much else to say really, my hair is now a red sort of colour lol, i fancied a change.

well last night went out on a christmas party with one of the lines at work and well it was ok at first i suppose had a couple of drinks and then went for a meal and thats where it went wrong i guess



going into a quiet place for food and they were loud as fuck shouting and laughing their heads off, and one of the guys was so dis respectful it was way out of order, at the end of the meal i was just asking myself why i was even out with them and it just hit me that there was no reason so i just left and went home.



i dont even like going out round here anyway cause i dont feel like i belong here, even in work i hate it cause i dont belong there, i need the money and well i cant move without it so i need to save but i never do but i will start, ive got to cause its just getting worse, i cant meet a girl without going out yet i hate going out and i know thats all the girl wud want to do and plus with all these people who hate me round here just cause rumours have been spread bout me and i aint even done fuck all.



i hate it round here and im going to get out of here soon, ive got to just need to start savin, im already looking for another job somewhere else out of this town but nothin has come up yet, so its all fun really, fucking life eh cant beat it.