nightstalkervamp's Journal
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2 entries this month
updates i suppose
08:49 Aug 29 2005
Times Read: 667
Well lets see here ummmm not to much has been going on really, ill start with recent and move back as its easier for me lol.
went to oakwood satuarday with my mate, got loads of looks cause of my green hair but who cares, we must have gone on every ride there, even some of the kid ones lol, went on megaphobia twice before the lines got to big, went on bounce bout 5 times one after another, everyone in the line was looking at us cause we were just talking as the ride started and finished lol, also went on snake river falls, the tree tops coaster we went on like 7 times, mostly cause i really nice girl was running it i had to duck cause i nearly hit i branch lol, we even went on the paddle boats lol, towards the end we got so bored we even played mini golf.
my ex called me for some unknown reason, i dunno if we are talking now or not, she wudnt talk to me cause i wudnt tell her what my tatt meant lol, so there we go.
ive been up and down with work and stuff, its either been chaotic or boring never just right a steady pace.
i also been down to bout being lonely, sat didnt help with that, all i saw were couples and it did my head in a lot but im ok now for the most part.
and yeah thats it really, ill probably have more to say later, just with work and all ive been to tired to write in here but ill probably start up again now lol.
where do i begin
22:13 Aug 14 2005
Times Read: 670
I havent broken down in ages and i thought that I was over all these feelings and everything that was plaguing me, I was wrong tonight now I have come to the end of the line, I cant take this pain anymore of lonliness and so much heart ache at loving a girl who lives so far away and not even being able to return the feelings, yet I cant help it.
Why is this happening to me I haven’t done anything wrong, I haven’t and yet im getting all this pain, I really wanna die right now I just wanna end this miserable excuse for a life that I have been given, every weekend I feel like this but it hasn’t been this intense for along time now and I don’t wanna go back to this way, I want to I just want to go away and never come back, just oh I don’t know to just die and be forgotten, im in tears right now holding on with every bit of strength I have but its not enough, I can feel my heart pounding and its actually hurting me with every beat I feel the pain like its stuck in my throat and I just cant go back to this cause I cant take it no more.
Take away this pain, please please I need to be free from this pain, so much pain too much I cant take it anymore, please save me.
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