The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

20:40 May 31 2009
Times Read: 691

I wanna find Ozzfest tickets anywhere i can for me and my lil bro! soooo fun! if anyone has a clue where to get them let me know please :) doesnt matter wher it is I just wanna take him to see ozzy lol would make his life!

THANKS

13:45 May 31 2009
Times Read: 603

I have head phones on my belly :) the lil man is listening to Machine Head Imperium hehe my lil metal head :) I got to see my co workers son yesterday and it made me so excited! the little hands and feet crack me up! now he is listening to Ozzy! ;)

14:00 May 30 2009
Times Read: 607

well my mom is probably going to end up back in the hospital because they didnt treat her lung infection when she was there :( I hate the hospitals here they just dont care...my son wasnt moving at all and I had to wait 4 hours before they would see me in the ER 0_0 I have to work an unusually long shift today but I wont complain cuz they cut my hours really bad..I am about to lose my job..no lie I am on my last legs there ...we got a lil crib and a baby swing yesterday thats got me all excited about the lil man lol I just want to see him in them!!! but I am sure the time will fly once I hit the 5 month mark :) missing my fiend really bad.....lol we have 50 bucks saved up for the baby...the other money got stolen lol so we are stuck with 50 dollors I dont know how I am going to afford an apartment...even with welfare and all that we wont be able to do it alone so that sucks..we are going to have to stay here with damien and his family for a while and I feel like a burdon..alot of things would be easier if he would grow up and work...things would be better between me and him and things would just be better cuz we could move out and all that with the baby but at this point when I move out he is not coming with me and I wanna move away but i dont know how well thats gonna work with the lack of money....

15:48 May 29 2009
Times Read: 625

well i was up pretty late last night i didnt mean to be lol but damien desided he wanted to tickle me to death! haha I ripped out his har and he still wouldnt stop! so yeah i was up till 3 laughing and shit :( but i had fun :) first time I had fun with the father of my son in a long time lol or as some call him..The Hulk LMAO!! I want to see another ultrasound really bad lol see my lil man wiggle around and look at us..I cried the first time I saw him and when the doctors told me he was gonna make it I just bawled I was so happy! My mom is doing better she can actually talk now and wont shut up lol but that just means she is back to normal :) all is well in the lil town of Zanesville

15:45 May 28 2009
Times Read: 631

MY BELLY GREW TWO MORE INCES OUTWARD YAAAAAYYY lol

15:08 May 28 2009
Times Read: 633

you wanna judge me?? call me names? tell me I am nothing??? I am more than you could ever be...I am aloyal daughter...loving mother...great student...loving friend..you on the other hand are humen trash for telling me I cant love who i want..you are not my master you cant say that...I love who i love and I cant help that!! SHIT HAPPENS! So if you wanna hate me go ahead and if you wanna beat me go ahead..but you better be able to run...cuz you cant hide..I am me..so what if I have dark makeup around my eyes and wear dark clothing....liike i said i am me...something more than you could ever be..you dont even know how to be yourself you worthless lil girl...Insult myself and someone again..I dare you...I am not one to toy with you lil bitch....once november comes around itll all be over for you..so say goodnight..if you touch somoen I love again..its all done for you



Peace bitch!

wow...
17:05 May 27 2009
Times Read: 641

last night i was in the ER until 2:30 this morning because the baby wasnt moving but the baby is ok he was just hiding nice and snug in my cervix lol its a boy and his name is Alexi Kenneth.



My mother is in emergency sergery and probably will be until later today...she had a sergery before but they had to redo it because they did it wrong so i think my mom is sueing the hospital for malpractice..at least i would lol I am gonna try to see if someone could cover for me tonight at work so I cann be with my mom since i was to tired to go this morning..but my boss is an ass so i might have to go in anyways..she wouldnt even let me go early to go to the ER 0-0

19:33 May 26 2009
Times Read: 671






I am 16 weeks pregnant..this is what the lil punk looks like in mommies belly :) cute already!

14:48 May 24 2009
Times Read: 685

graduation is a few hours away and surprisingly my mind is not on that haha ...I am thinking about my friend :) thank you everyone for your love and support...I love you all very much!

18:16 May 23 2009
Times Read: 692

I GRADUATE TOMMORROW HOLY FUCKING SHIT YES ITS OVER!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

ugh..
17:59 May 23 2009
Times Read: 693

november needs to get here..I am tired of being kick and punched lol and theres nothing i can do haha my lil man is hyper as hell!! oh no! haha I cant eat anything cuz he wont stop moving around lol

gonna be an intresting year...
15:13 May 22 2009
Times Read: 712

graduating...having a baby...wow its going to be emotional lol I am never gonna wanna let my lil boy go..MINE lol

dumbass....
00:16 May 22 2009
Times Read: 718

well my boss has finally pushed my last button...I am four months fucking pregnant..trying to get away from damien and his shit and she cuts my hours down to a measaly 13....not even a kid of that age could live on such low pay...i am looking for another job...but hell...idk guys I am trying but its making it hard..at least i know I have ones that love me no matter what happens...been trying the whole christian thing again..lol I will let you know how that works out

21:48 May 21 2009
Times Read: 727

errrr getting picked on...guess I am a midget lol and a dwarf well they say I am half a dwarf..haha

YAY
20:26 May 21 2009
Times Read: 728

well today i went to gradation practice and bawled my eyes out lol but I think the day will end on a very good note...seen all my old friends...talked for a while to someone who can always make my day :) lol...hanging with some more friends..good day lol

ok ok ok...
19:12 May 20 2009
Times Read: 737

I have never smiled this much..laughed so hard...felt so loved..as I do now...no worries..no pain...just happy! I have never felt like this before...

13:10 May 20 2009
Times Read: 741

well yesterday was an intresting day...we will see how today goes. I am losing a fight with myself and it feels nice for once..I actually dont mind waiting to see what happens....just hoping all goes well :)

19:40 May 19 2009
Times Read: 753

I am trapped..no getting out now....cant stop it..over and over in my head...everything....going crazy...

13:09 May 19 2009
Times Read: 757

worried about my sister...she isnt doing so well..I hope all will be ok..I will be told about everything later... havent talked to my mom in a few days..might call her idk yet..so many things are clouding my mind..I cant sleep...cant eat...i dont think I have ever felt so many feelings at once before..need,want,love,fear.trust..its really weird, never felt anything like it...and I had a dream last night..cant say it here but it was...amazing lol...the baby is fine...wiggling around in mommies belly lol not a care in the world...haha he kinda talks to me..I ask a question and he nudges for yes lol and doesnt move for no..that system seems to work lol idk if its him really answering or not but..I can belive lol I am showing like crazy...I friggen waddle lmao

damn..
18:27 May 17 2009
Times Read: 778

who knew missing someone could bring pain...what the hell is going on with me???

Machine Head Halo THE BEST!!!!
18:05 May 17 2009
Times Read: 779

This is a call to arms,

will you stand beside me?

This is our time to fight,

no more compromising

And this blackened heart will sing

For sad solidarity



Halo, over our demise

Following a god so blind

Shallow, in their sickening

Swallow not, the shit they feed



This is a right to life,

not the Religious Right’s act

This is abortion’s knife,

aiming at the womb of

The Christian conspiracy

So open thine eyes and see, the



Halo, over our demise

Following a god so blind

Shallow, in their sickening

Swallow not, the shit they feed





Our time will come, our time will come

Our time is now, our time is now



And I won’t pray for you

And I won't pray for you

And I won't pray for you



Halo

Follow

Shallow

Swallow

Halo, over our demise

Following a god so blind

Shallow, in their sickening

Swallow not, the shit they feed



Your words will never hold us down

Prayer’s won’t be spared on you

Satisfaction denied

‘Til you’re dead and gone

Gone

Dead and gone!

You’re gone!

correcting a wrong...
18:05 May 15 2009
Times Read: 804

master,



I went behind your back and disobeyed a direct order...I hid it from you when there became a problem...I will accept my punishment willingly because I know I desreve it..if it were my place i would punish myself...I am sorry for the pain and anger I caused you...and I will be a good girl and listen to master...I will not dis obey...I will not back talk...just listen..again I am sorry...knowing I have hurt you brings me to tears...all I can hear is your yelling...master...I know i was wrong...I am sorry



Nola

humiliation...
18:03 May 14 2009
Times Read: 818

I dis obeyed master...I spoke with one I wasnt allowed...and now I am to deal with the Punishment...I am sorry master..sisters..I have let you down..it wont happen again...

To damien..the man who got me pregnant and wont even let me rest...Im done with this..Im going home
14:46 May 11 2009
Times Read: 827

Evenesence call me when your sober





Don't cry to me.

If you loved me,

You would be here with me.

You want me,

Come find me.

Make up your mind.



Should I let you fall?

Lose it all?

So maybe you can remember yourself.

Can't keep believing,

We're only deceiving ourselves.

And I'm sick of the lie,

And you're too late.



Don't cry to me.

If you loved me,

You would be here with me.

You want me,

Come find me.

Make up your mind.



Couldn't take the blame.

Sick with shame.

Must be exhausting to lose your own game.

Selfishly hated,

No wonder you're jaded.

You can't play the victim this time,

And you're too late.



Don't cry to me.

If you loved me,

You would be here with me.

You want me,

Come find me.

Make up your mind.



You never call me when you're sober.

You only want it cause it's over,

It's over.



How could I have burned paradise?

How could I - you were never mine.



So don't cry to me.

If you loved me,

You would be here with me.

Don't lie to me,

Just get your things.

I've made up your mind.

Ozzy Osborn mama Im comin home ( my favorite song )
17:29 May 10 2009
Times Read: 831

Times have changed and times are strange

Here I come, but I ain't the same

Mama, I'm coming home

Times gone by seems to be

You could have been a better friend to me

Mama, I'm coming home



Took me in and you drove me out

Yeah, you had me hypnotized

Lost and found and turned around

By the fire in your eyes



You made me cry, you told me lies

But, I can't stand to say goodbye

Mama, I'm coming home

I could be right, I could be wrong

Hurts so bad, it's been so long

Mama, I'm coming home



Selfish love yeah we're both alone

The ride before a fall

[ Osbourne Ozzy Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]

But I'm gonna take this heart of stone

I just got to have it all



I've seen your face a hundred times

Everyday we've been apart

I don't care about the sunshine, yeah



'Cause mama, mama, I'm coming home

I'm coming home



You took me in and you drove me out

Yeah, you had me hypnotized

Lost and found and turned around

By the fire in your eyes



I've seen your face a thousand times

Every day we've been apart

And I don't care about the sunshine, yeah



'Cause mama, mama, I'm coming home

I'm coming home

I'm coming home

I'm coming home

feelings...
18:30 May 08 2009
Times Read: 845

well since it is really hard for me to truly open up to people one on one I thought I might as well get it out so the people who really need to know can see... I am scared out of my mind to be a mother..I have cried..screamed..ran off...but nomatter what..its gonna happen..and I dont understand how it could have happened I used birth control...and rubbers were used...I guess it was ment to happen..some lesson has to come from it or it wouldnt be happening...I know I can do it..but I am so young..i wont have a life anymore it wont be mine...its just really hard..and really scared...

I have felt like this the past few days...dont know why..just do..
18:22 May 08 2009
Times Read: 846

Fine again-seether







It seems like every day’s the same

and I’m left to discover on my own

It seems like everything is gray

and there’s no color to behold

They say it’s over and I’m fine again, yeah

Try to stay sober feels like I’m dying here



And I am aware now of how

everything’s gonna be fine one day

Too late, I’m in hell I am prepared now,

seems everyone’s gonna be fine

One day too late, just as well



I feel the dream in me expire

and there’s no one left to blame it on

I hear you label me a liar

‘cause I can’t seem to get this through

You say it’s over, I can sigh again, yeah

Why try to stay sober when I’m dying here



And I am aware now of how

everything’s gonna be fine one day

Too late, I’m in hell

I am prepared now,

seems everyone’s gonna be fine

One day too late; just as well



And I’m not scared now.

I must assure you,

you’re never gonna get away

And I’m not scared now.

And I’m not scared now. No…



I am aware now of how

everything’s gonna be fine one day

Too late, I’m in hell

I am prepared now

seems everyone’s gonna be fine

One day too late, just as well

I am prepared now,

seems everything’s gonna be fine for me

For me; for myself.

For me, for me, for myself

For me, for me, for myself

I think of master when I hear this song :)
17:32 May 08 2009
Times Read: 847

Broken-seether





I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away

I keep your photograph, I know it serves me well

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain



'Cause I'm broken when I'm open

And I don't feel like I am strong enough

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right when you're gone away



The worst is over now and we can breathe again

I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away

There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain



[x2]

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open

And I don't feel like I am strong enough

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right when you're gone away

MORE BABY NEWS YAY
18:50 May 07 2009
Times Read: 855

well guess what? the baby is kicking the hell outta its mommy :) I love it more and more with each lil kick and all you gotta do it push on it a lil and itll move for ya :) I LOVE MY LIL BRAT MORE THAN ANYTHING CULD DESCRIBE you would have to be a parent to truly understand that bond...god I am gonna be so protective!

stupid lil one..16 and trapped
18:28 May 06 2009
Times Read: 867

I think its funny how he ( I will not name him..anyone who has heard me rant knows who this is lol) thinks him haveing a new upsets me...it makes me worry for that poor girl...another young soul traped in his lies..but of course nola knows nothing...and she as the nerve to mock my name..my submission...it is her who will be hurt and betrayed..not me...it is her who is losing and wasting her life on a player...sorry lil one I wont help you anymore..you are a lost cause!

15:15 May 04 2009
Times Read: 877

we read others journals to get to know them..correct? well here are a few things about me not many know...when I was younger I had a lot of mental problems...I suffered from paranoid scytsophrinia and anxiety problems..I got into many fights because I am bi polor and I lost my temper..but for the most patr theses days I am fine...

I hate being beaten out of anger but If I deserve it then I will not protest or fight it..If I say that i love you..then I mean it to the deepest extent and would fight to the death for your honor and returned love...I wouldnt say I am a violent women but...it all depends on how you treat me and my loved ones..I will not hurt you for disrespect or out of anger..I must be a lady and not embarrass my master...Of course I am a submissive women..and its not out of weakness..I am probably one of the strongest people you could meet in my lil town...but it is because I have to learn to control things I dont want apart of me anylonger..my anger..my dominance I dont want that...if a relationship is to work it cant be one sided and I have a way of letting the bad come out...so I have a master a teacher to show me otherwise...I have always lived in ohio...I moved alot as a child to get away from what my mother called "the bad men" and to this day she wont explain what that ment...My mother is probably the only person I would hurt ANYONE for, she made me what I am today, she raised me with only the best at heart although she has made her mistakes like we all do...mothers are only humen..just like you and I, I am a member of a real vampyric coven called Noctem Aeternus but am blinded due to personal issues that I would rather not go into..yes I am vampric and am proud of it..i am also a soon to be mommy and am proud of this also...I am pregnant by a man named Damien Starcher and hopefully we are to be married soon so we can be a secure family...I am the only one working so it will be rather hard but I know we can make it...I love my child more than anyone...in my life..the baby comes before anything or anyone...I have had many bad experiences with men and that leaves me distrustful..another reason for my submission...my father was in and out of my life and I am surprisingly thankful for this...he wasnt the best father in the world..and I have not seen him for 6 years now..I have graduated early from high school and walk with my class the 24th of this month...I am proud of my accomplishments and want to hide my flaws,,but I need master to see it all so he can truly help me..thank you master

had a blast
15:36 May 03 2009
Times Read: 879

Even though I graduated early I was invited to go to my senior prom and I had a blast, my date of course was my babies dad damien lol lil white boy can dance hehe we danced almost the whole time and then after ward we went to after prom and bowled and had a blast lol even he had fun so all that money spent was worth the fun hehe

To Ex president Bush writteen and sang By Pink
14:18 May 02 2009
Times Read: 888




Dear Mr. President

Come take a walk with me

Let's pretend we're just two people and

You're not better than me

I'd like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly



What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street

Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep

What do you feel when you look in the mirror

Are you proud



How do you sleep while the rest of us cry

How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye

How do you walk with your head held high

Can you even look me in the eye

And tell me why



Dear Mr. President

Were you a lonely boy

Are you a lonely boy

Are you a lonely boy

Are you a lonely boy

How can you say

No child is left behind

We're not dumb and we're not blind

They're all sitting in your cells

While you pave the road to hell



What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away

And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay

I can only imagine what the first lady has to say

You've come a long way from whiskey and cocaine



How do you sleep while the rest of us cry

How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye

How do you walk with your head held high

Can you even look me in the eye



Let me tell you bout hard work

Minimum wage with a baby on the way

Let me tell you bout hard work

Rebuilding your house after the bombs took them away

Let me tell you bout hard work

Building a bed out of a cardboard box

Let me tell you bout hard work

Hard work

Hard work

You don't know nothin bout hard work

Hard work

Hard work

Ohhh



How do you sleep at night

How do you walk with your head held high

Dear Mr. President

You'd never take a walk with me

would u