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Today is the day I wish to die. My heart sinks every time I think of what has happened to you.... to us today. I feel I will never see you again, and yet I know I will. How will I survive with out you, my love. How will I breathe?! For even now, before my worst fears are confermed, I do know what has happened to you. It's in this moment, I feel I am stuffed in a tight box and cannot breathe. At the same time, I feel like I am on display to all. Every one pointing their finger at me and whispering about me behind my back. "Can you believe it?" they all ask each other. I will see you soon, my love, but my ship is sinking faster than I can scoop the water out. I am trying to keep float though.

How, my love, how will I survive these long days with out you to talk to, laugh with, to hold. Already my soul yearns for yours, and yet, it has only been a mere few hours. These months are going to be the longest of my life. I will be here, my love, with arms wide open whey you can return to me. I love you. I love you more than I can ever say, breath, sing, write. Every time my heart beats, it whispers your name. Every time my heart whispers your name, it feels like it is being ripped out farther from my body, and with it, it takes my soul. I feel I have no reason to live, even though I know you will be back. It's already been far too long for my soul to be apart from you. This is what is going to either make me stronger, or break me. I pray to the Goddess that the days will pass quickly and painlessly, for every moment that you have to be away from me, I die a little more.

My soul is like a rose bush. I need your loving, nurturing care to stay alive. I need you more than anything or anybody.

As these tears stream down my face and they computer screen gets too blurry to see... I wish just to hear your love filled voice. To hear you tell me you love me too. I must go now... I cannot think clearly or see the screen enough to write any more. Don't stop thinking of me, my love.