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yesterday i was outside looking at the arid little patch that will be my vegetable garden. arid may be the wrong word, the weeds like it fine.

back in mid-March i started planting and then we had some serious rain. the only thing that seems to be growing are my potatoes.

i was telling my Husband that i wanted the whole thing dug back up. "Till the whole thing and start over?"

a resounding yes was my reply. i am frustrated. my early plants didn't take. my seedlings aren't doing so hot either...

He walked around the garden for a bit and stopped. "Isn't this lettuce here?"

what? where? oh my gosh, it is. last year when my lettuce went to seed we tilled it under. i thought it would be nice to let garden replant itself some. my lettuce started coming in, in November. then it got cold and it all died. it was growing again back in March when it snowed and was frozen for four days. it died again.

is the third time the charm? *smiles

maybe.

i am extremely tired and i have no idea why. i have been getting enough sleep. i've been eating. it has been warm but i have been taking it really easy. i started to doze off while i was talking on the phone, so i decided to take a nap. i don't know how long i was sleeping but somehow i was startled awake. i guess i will make myself an iced coffee and see if that works.

i got a phone call from Mother tonight. naturally i was worried, she never calls me. i know there was an edge in my voice when i answered. it turns out that she was concerned.

"I am calling you," she says "because usually it is you who calls me and says it's ok, it isn't us."

of course i asked her what she was bloody talking about.

it appears that South Carolina is on fire and made the Channel 8 news in Portland, OR tonight. forest fires at Myrtle beach. that is a shame, it is only the end of April and it looks like their tourist season could be shot.

i don't mean to be glib in the face of lost homes, condos and golf courses. the governer called a state of emergency. i should certainly hope so, this state has been in need of aid for months. my husband is one of the lucky ones, he has a job.

i honestly do hope the fires will be out soon though. i don't like fire.

i had a quiet day. cleaned house, same old same old. the young man is old enough to work now. it gives me some hope for the summer. maybe i will get my quiet time after all.

so as i puttered about on the house and the net. little thoughts dashed around in my head. i know some people on the various social networks who devote a good deal of their time watching people who they do not like. people they do not talk to.

i think back to my online evolution. last year at this time maybe i did the same thing, but i outgrew it. it became a bore.

i think about the people we love to hate, if we walked away and never thought of them again would that be a loss? i guess it depends on your perspective. for me when i leave someone behind, it's like they died or were never real to begin with. is that jaded?

i don't look back. there is nothing there.

seeing you view my profile and there are no words passed between us anymore is like walking into an empty room and finding a burning cigarette in a place where no one smokes. it is like opening my pocketbook and finding things rearranged. it feels like a violation.

here you go dabbler...*smiles

my Husband did come home and ended up just unhooking the pipe and capping it until we can afford the new plumbing and flooring. we are back to to the whole house sharing the Master bath. it is ok though, we all cooperate pretty well with each other. the damage to the floor was pretty major this time and i was storing a vacuum in there too at the time, it got soaked. i am still waiting for it to dry.

this is what happens when you are buying a house, sometimes things need fixed.

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dabbler
20:27 Apr 23 2009

Thanks for the update, you may want to demo the lower part of your wall if the water soaked through the edge boards, a potential source for mildew to grow later.

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my daughter is at her best friends house again and my son is at work again. i can't wait for today's stories. hmm and i wonder if this means he will be going to the drag races tonight.

i stayed up until 6am doing things online because i thought for sure i would be lucky to get online today anyway. oh my brain is fried and i feel like someone is poking my eyeballs with toothpicks.

blah i need to wake up.

today i got a call from a friend i haven't talked to in nearly a year. we were closer than best friends. we had a disagreement and it all but dissolved the friendship, i will say it changed things radically. i guess she wanted to talk to me for a fresh perspective.

her and her husband married just as he got out of high school. they have been married 18 years and between the two of them have four lovely children. one of them graduated last year. over the years he has been cold and distant at best. he works hard but it never quite pays the bills, the family unit itself is badly mismanaged. i am told that he just pulled their 8 year old with Aspergers out of school and is ordering her to home school the child. the youngest two have never had a scheduled bedtime or regular mealtime in their lives.

she has expressed her discontent many times over the years. in fact it was this expression of discontent which led to the breakdown of our friendship last year. she had been complaining to me for months about him and he came across the emails and archived messages and blasted me on a public forum. she just let him. i didn't talk to her for a month.

she has also cheated on him in the past. he always takes her back, holding it over her head and throwing it in her face until she can take it no more. the last time was two years ago. i think it should ave been dropped by now but it hasn't. it has led to her growing isolation and even the feeling of wanting to get away from her kids. she thinks she deserves it.

i guess she called me to try to get me to stop her from doing what she is thinking of doing. she is thinking of leaving her children and husband to have an affair with a lesbian she met 6 months ago. i have advised her to talk to children and families; to not do this. next time she returns could find her chained up and even more neglected, she doesn't listen.

i guess i just needed to get this off my chest.

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dabbler
23:19 Apr 18 2009

Assure her that the. Moment she drops everything, her affair will grow cold. It is human nature at its most foul, the majority of the attraction the lesbian has for her is sport, she concours over the husband.



She is coming back to a scorced bridge, I am sure he is ever suspect of her comings and goings, she may not have made new friends, and may have servered a few former friendships.



a tough place to put a once friend, now aquantiance.

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well sorry folks but thanks to good old red neck ingenuity, bubble fuckin gum and bailing wire i will be signing off early this week. believe me, i am plenty mad.

last year at about this time we learned something about the main bathroom of this house. the people who lived here before us mucked up the plumbing somehow and decided to fix it with what appears to be akin to garden hose and a ring clamp. they clamped the hose right to the existing pipe. it sprung on us and all but completely ruined the bathroom floor. we couldn't fix it at the time so had to settle with closing up that bathroom and have been sharing the one in our room with the kids ever since. something to do with the cheap trailer piping needed and an expensive tool that is needed to actually clamp it.

it sprung again and i can't fix it. so Master is having to waste gas coming all the way home tonight to try to do something with it. i have no water so i can't make Him dinner, He can't even take a shower and i still have chores to do, chores which are compounded by the messy, sopping wet bathroom. this sucks ass. i only got to use the computer last night and today :( and He has to go without sleep because of having to come all the way home.

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dabbler
23:21 Apr 18 2009

What's the update on that?

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