The emptiness and darkness is returning,
that lonely feeling; the heart is burning.
Once, I pushed those feelings away,
they were gone for awhile, they're back today.
This time could be the end for me,
I could finally be gone-my sad soul set free.
The empty hollowness in my chest gone forever,
could it happen? please? no-never!
I was so happy for a long time there,
the pain disappeared, ran off somewhere.
It didn't go too far, found its way back,
right when my life was finally on track.
Finally I've come to a harsh conclusion,
all my hopes and dreams have been an illusion.
So much heartache, pain and strife,
what I want is to end this life.
That won't happen, I'm not brave enough,
tell me why this life has to be so rough.
Your help, dear Lord, is what I need,
nobody knows how my heart does bleed.
Everything’s piling up, I'm quickly sinking,
no rope to grab is what I'm thinking...
Please understand me
you don't know how I feel.
Please understand me
so my pain can heal.
You push me away
not knowing what I need,
You push me away
and my heart bleeds.
You push me away
too confused to hear,
You push me away
for your world is clear.
Into a haze I suddenly seep,
now I will go and weep.
Deep in my heart, I sadly plea,
because nobody ever understands me.
So all I ask is just listen and you'll see
that nobody ever understands me.
In my own little world, I sit here staring,
wondering how long this will go on.
The pain, the suffering, wanting to know you,
yet I can't, for you won't be my friend.
Sitting here, I scream within,
while nobody hears me.
Saddened, I sit here weeping,
as nobody hears me.
They don't want to hear so they shut me out,
making me feel worse than I already do.
Staring at nothing, seeing no one,
I sit here, alone and depressed.
This pain is getting the best of me,
blinding me so I cannot see.
I try to see, but you won't let me,
I try to hear, but you whisper secrets about me.
While I'm weeping, you're laughing;
while I'm sighing, you're smirking.
You don't understand me and you never will,
so please just stop trying.
You make me feel worse than I already do,
by laughing and saying mean things.
I'll get you yet, you just wait and see,
it will be very soon when I pay you back.
Little old me, paying back big mean you?,
"yeah right", is that what you're thinking?
You're wrong, the end is drawing near,
the time for my payback is almost here.
Oh, you say you just can't wait,
you want it right now.
Here it is, a shotgun to the head,
no, not yours, but mine.
My payback was my suicide,
you asked and I answered.
Now aren't you happy
I bet you are!
Now I'm happy, too,
where I never again have to deal with you.
So if you feel lonely, sad and depressed,
just kill yourself and you'll be free.
Then soon enough you'll be dead,
and you'll finally be happy also.
Slicing and dicing, she cuts deeper and deeper,
seeing just one drop of blood will make her happy.
Crying and shaking, she raises the knife,
wishing for the courage to take her own life.
Pushing harder on the blade, trying to die,
she often just sits and wonders why;
Why are people so selfish and hating,
nobody knows the pain she suffers through.
She just wants love, why don't they understand this?,
nobody says I love you or asks her how she is doing.
Wanting love more than anything in the world,
wanting to feel pretty once in awhile.
Crying and trying to die once again,
all she really needs is one caring friend.
Depressed all the time for reasons unknown to herself,
wishing all the pain would just go disappear.
Trying to be happy and funny is hard for her,
even when doing things she once did enjoy.
No courage to actually kill herself,
just cutting makes her feel better.
Wishing she could die, not knowing why,
just wanting love and companionship.
Crying and shaking, she raises the knife,
wishing for the courage to take her own life...
She cried out for help, no one was there,
nobody listened, they didn't care.
People kept walking further away,
leaving her with no one to wipe the tears away.
She looked for a friend, nobody came,
nobody liked her, there was no one to blame.
All those years with nobody loving her,
really hurt, and made her dreams all a blur.
Her future looked hopeless, a deep dark black,
people always stabbing her in the back.
Soon she grew tired of the hatred and pain,
said, "I'm leaving here, there's nothing for me to gain."
She left with a bang, stunning everyone,
killing herself with her father's gun.
Everyone laughed, nobody cried,
it was a party when she died,
One lonely girl, killing herself and so scared,
just because nobody cared
Fall to my grave, begging forgiveness on bended knee,
asking heaven above to please return me.
It's too late now, you waited too long,
this is how it ends-you knew all along.
My death was unknown to you at first,
when you heard about it, your heart did burst.
An accident, surely, you thought it must be,
"she'd never end her life over me."
The life of our love is now gone forever,
what once was a beautiful treasure.
"I'm not worth dying over", you think,
to calm the pain, you swallow a drink.
You hurt me when alcohol controlled your life,
so, I, in return, hurt you by using a knife.
The note said it all, told of my pain,
of the heartache and longing I'd never feel again.
You read, re-read, and read it once more,
the third time you saw it you collapsed on the floor.
The note of my death went something like this:
"it all began with one tender kiss.
My love, my life, I'll miss you so much,
your sweet embrace, your gentle touch.
You loved me and you never lied,
as my purity was casually tossed aside.
You knew I'd do anything for your love once more,
but all you could do is slam the door.
My love, my hate, all swept away,
for your selfishness, soon you will pay.
I couldn't keep you, the alcohol won,
all of your deception, you thought in fun.
Now you bear the burden of my death,
till the bitter end, till your very last breath..."
As you read this, I pray you're overcome with depression,
knowing in reality, it will be washed away in sin.
So as you pray to the heavens, asking why,
just think of my note, as you cry.
COMMENTS
-