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when you say you love me

it makes me wonder why.

why you're gonna leave me ...

if you're gonna die.



the things i take for granted,

the words i never say.

i've always had a feeling,

would just get in the way.



in my days of sex and drugs,

and daily drinking beer.

words were just a hustle,

and rarely were sincere.



today the words i say are true

but now they seem to stick.

caught between reality

and years of being slick.



so if you're gonna leave me ...

if you're gonna die.

i know how much you love me,

please just say goodbye.





by martin

it's peaceful here

in the killing fields of yesteryear.

all quiet

with rolling hills

and beautiful trees.



the wooden crosses

that once peppered the ladscape

have been replaced with a granet monument

that somehow doesn't seem to fit-in

at this sacred place.



i like it when it's quiet here

and i can feel the souls of the dead

in the breeze.

others come here for war games, or as they call them ...

re-enactments.



i suppose that's how they pay thier respects,

but that's not for me ... no

beer and bivwack on the bones of the dead

is not my way.

but it's not up to me to make the rules of respect.



it's only up to me to show my respect ... quietly ...

as the breeze fills my lungs and soul.





by martin

when we are together

it's hard to say goodbye.

when thinking of you by myself

i often wonder why.



why i will not say the words

that you don't want to hear.

why i will not tell you

the end is very near.



weakness makes it easy

to never say goodbye.

weakness is the feeling that i feel

when i don't even try.





by martin

if every bit of sunshine

was squeezed from every day

and darkness spread accross the land

while oceans ceased to spray



if laughter lived in memories

but never for today

and salty tears of loneliness

it seemed were here to stay



if i thought you lied to me

would i still obey

or would i pull the plug on us

and send you on your way



if only i could love myself

even for a day

maybe i'ld believe you

and hope that you would stay





by martin

i like the movies

the popcorn and candy

always taste better

at the movies



my friend and i were playing last week

whilst on our way to the movies

she coughed at an un-oppertune moment

and we laughed ... and thought nothing of it



we cut through macys at the mall

and as we were riding the escallator

i noticed something on her cap

i smiled and asked her if she's ever seen "something about mary"



as i said it, i was pointing at her hat and smiling

she smiled back and said yes and we got off the escallator

we stopped in the AT&T store and she tugged my coat

she didn't understand why people were staring



i put my hand to a corrasponding point on my head

and told her she really needed to find a mirror

she reached up and touched it

then took off accross the food court at warp speed



as i turned back to the store staff

they all had big grins on thier faces

i smiled back then paid my phone bill

and left to find my friend



she was coming towards me

from the other side of the mall

pointing her finger at me

saying she was gonna kill me



we met in the middle

i grabbed her in a big bear hug

and she reached around and hit my back a few times

playfully



she's so fuckin cool ... a little slow

but a whole lotta cool

we got some goodies and went to the movie

"death at a funeral"



we laughed and cuddled and totally enjoyed the movie

as we were leaving she made me a promise

she's gonna "get me" for that one

i wonder what she has in mind ?



i can't wait to find out



good times





by martin