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hmmm. dad has been gone 10 years today. i went to his grave and gave up my smokes and a few promises. he knows my demons, as can anyone who can read between the lines in my poetry. i trust my dad, but my dad is dead. i don't really trust anyone presently living. i really miss my dad. i was in prison when he died. i abandoned him when he needed me to pursue selfish and destructive pleasures. i will never forgive myself. i'm sorry dad, and even though i can't forgive myself, i hope you were able to forgive me before you left your body. my goal is to find you when i leave mine.

i love you dad .... marty