my dad was in my dream last night. he was sick and i was running around with him doing stuff. we were by a big river way up on these cliffs and there was a creek with a rock bed that we walked through. at the end of the creek there was a place like an outdoor restraunt where we sat and talked. my dad was getting tired so we got back to the car and went to this house, but for some reason i had to go back to get the car so i started running so i could get the car and get back to my dad. then i woke up. it took me a few seconds to realize it was a dream. i tried to get back to the dream but it was too late.
i got to hug my dad in the dream when he was sick and feel how weak he was. i never did that in real life cuz i was in prison when he was sick and he died before i got out. in a strange way it was nice to help him get around in the dream. i've had extreme guilt for not being there for him when he needed me. i wonder if he is trying to relieve that guilt.
also when i said i was gonna go get the car and i would be rite back. the impression i had from my dad was that that wouldn't be the case ... and it wasn't cuz i woke up ... or was it more ? ... my main goal in life has been to be good and not create any more victims so i can get to my dad when i leave this earth. i sure hope he's not telling me "not so fast" cuz i really hate being good.
fucking dreams ... leave me with more questions than answers.
at least i got to hug my dad.
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