The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I Could never Surpass His Comedy
06:19 Nov 28 2009
Times Read: 537

I looked at the paper today for you

as i was sitting in a Shari's diner taking a spot in a red booth.

Your story wasnt in there.

Is it sick that wanted to see it?

Front page- A Myspace threat for a school shooting places two teens in jail. Half a million dollar bail. Suicide and massacure plan unveild.

I wanted the waitress to come up,

watch me read your story and make a comment like "crazy huh?"

Then i would reply "Yeah. Thats my boyfriend. Cant keep track of him these days."

Then brush it off like it was no big deal.

Then laugh hysterically at the expression she would give me.

I can see it perfectly.

A face of terror and shock.

I would laugh until i cried.

Then cry until i hit the floor like ive done so many times before.

But my joke didnt happen.

Yours did.

I wonder who is laughing harder.

It was hilarious.

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall? No Such Thing.
06:39 Nov 14 2009
Times Read: 547




I have never known what I looked like.

Every mirror is different.

In one mirror I have dark circles under my eyes.

In another my hair is too flat and dirty.

Must be the lighting...



People are no better alternative.

Dad told me I was too fat and for months saltines and apple slices were the only foods I would let slide down my throat.



Family could see me shrinking.

I swore to myself my clothes were stretching.

I swore nothing was different.



Little me. Little big-boned me.



Another time, Mom told me I was too thin and my chest was too small.

They were big to me.

They always looked big to me.

But when I stood in front of the ruthless glass...

Maybe they should have been bigger...



From then on I always measured myself.

At first it started with just weight. 100 pounds. Pants size 1. Me at my smallest.

Then I got into actual measurements.



Bust = 32' inches around, Waist = 20' inches around, Hips = 32' inches around.

I started to measure everything.

Thighs = 13' inches around, Wrist = 4' inches around, Feet = 10' inches long, Shoulder length = 34' inches, Waist thickness = 5' inches.

I would measure myself with a flexible tape measure.

But after a month I got more creative with it.



I measured myself between my closet door and wall, with my dresser, on my bed, with belts, with bandana's.

One time I could tie a bandana around my rib cage and thought it would be cute to wear to a rodeo if I ever got to go.

"Maybe I could get some rope there to see how it measured on me" I thought.

Just to see how I was.

How thin I was.

How sexy I was. Wasn't I sexy?



But then I got to a mirror.

Couldn't help but peek.

He tells me i'm beautiful.

I see my imperfections.

I know my measurements by heart.

Would someone be honest with me?

Won't someone tell me the fucking truth?

Won't I ever get to see the real me?

Just a peek...





By: Low Low



Nov. 13. 09

Egg & Oatmeal
06:16 Nov 14 2009
Times Read: 548

"I'm hungry" he whines.

So i need to cook him breakfast

because he doesn't know how.

They only thing he knows how to make is cereal.

We have no milk.

When i was little, Mom would cook for us.

She isn't here and she would be too tired anyways.



Even if we begged her, and she knew how hungry we were.



I look in the fridge so i can get and idea of what to make.

"Make what you did last time. I don't care. I'm just too hungry."

Well now i have an idea.

So i clean the pans

and get out a frozen hash brown,

Three sausages,

one egg,

and two pieces of wheat bread

This is all we had and what i had to work with.



To make breakfast for two.



The egg is cracked, but its still good. I cook it for him.



We cant split the sausages evenly,

and i know how hungry he is,

so those go to him also.



I put the two pieces of bread in the toaster

and i get out the olive oil.

I manage to get a couple drops out,

so i attempt to cook the hash brown.

That well... you know... is also for him.

I look in the pantry and i find two oatmeal packets with little granola clusters you can put in with the oatmeal.

I offer him those.

That was the last of the good oatmeal.

I start making his oatmeal while i pour us both a glass of pink lemon-aid,

and i get his plate ready for him.



I give him his plate first and then start making my meal.

I butter the two pieces of bread

and make some crappy oatmeal.

The bananas and cream kind.

I don't really like it, but i need to eat.



I manage to choke down a few spoonfuls of the experiment,

the rest was finished by force.

But i ate all of my toast, and it was enjoyable.

I take a gulp of my pink lemon-aid while i watch my brother eat.



He enjoys it.

I watch him eat the sausage

and take spoonfuls of the oatmeal.

He would have eaten the hash brown, but it wasn't cooked all they way from the lack of olive oil, so he settled with that.



I noticed he doesn't eat his egg

because he is so full.



I stare at that egg like it just talked to me.



This is the best breakfast i ever had.





By: Low Low



Sept. 29. 07

Weeping Willow
05:53 Nov 14 2009
Times Read: 550

You sit alone on a bright sunny day,

and you weep with heartache and greif.

Your branches are unsound,

and they hang with anguish.

Will you still wait for someone to pick you up?

Will you still wait for someone to lift your branches

so you can savor the spring breeze?

Youve been waiting for so long.

Blooming flowers are flourishing around you.

Leaves multiply and turn deep green.

Beautiful on the outside,

but so impair on the inside.

People pass you day in and day out and assume everything is fine.

But really, morose.

Let your branches blow in the breeze.

Wait for someone to come.

Kittens Play. Pat. Pat. Claw... You Do The Math.
19:54 Nov 05 2009
Times Read: 554

I am thinking about you.

I’m not sure why.

Stuck in my head like a goldfish is stuck in a tank.

Circle to circle.

I’m tired of thinking about you

And I don’t know why I can’t just forget you

You weren’t that important



I thought…



I don’t know what you are.

Just something amazing

But something I just can’t help but toy with.



My mouse… I am the cat



My bunny… I am the bear.



Someone I love to hate, and hate to love.



I am a natural hunter.



You are my natural prey.



I don’t mean to be like this.

But I have to my darling, you must understand.



It is embedded in my blood.

I breathe it out from within me.

It’s apart of me and it will never change.



How dreadful. It will never change.



Accept this.



And you need to learn to deal with this too if you plan on being near me.



Though the door is always open to go back.



I wouldn’t blame you if you did.

BUMP
00:44 Nov 03 2009
Times Read: 557

My bump will go away

But my tears will stay dry on my cheeks

They will stay in my skin

Waiting for the next batch of tears you will cause

every time you make me cry

they will dry on my face

and stay with me forever

just like memories and my anger will stay too



He was trying to fight me

but i hung up

You got so angry that you attacked

I fought back.



You hurt me for no reason

I swear you do it for fun

I wish you could see what you were doing

Realizing the damage you do to me



My bump will go away

But my tears will dry on my cheeks

They will stay with me always

memories and anger

I will not forget

Nor ever forgive.

The "C" Ornament
00:38 Nov 03 2009
Times Read: 558

Mom got special ornaments this year

Four ornaments

The ornaments are letters.

Y for Yvette, my mom

R for River, my brother

T for Taylor, my sister

and L for me.

There are four stockings also,

hanging over the fireplace

but there are five hangers.

Your stocking is suppoused to be there.

Just like your ornament is suppoused to be on our tree.

The letter "C" for Chad, my dad.

But you dont want your "C" ornament there

or your stocking hung over our fireplace.

You dont want to be our dad

and you dont want me to be your little girl anymore.

But i will still keep that place for your stocking and ornament to hang

As i look out my window hoping next christmas you will decide to love me again.

The Consequences Of Love And Hate.
00:32 Nov 03 2009
Times Read: 559

I havent let myself heal yet.



My heart has yet to mend.



I keep thinking of you



and its making my heart bend.



I know i need more time. i know i need more prayer



If i think of you any longer



I know my soul will tear.



I want to see you as a friend



But all i see is my love.



I try to keep away from you



but i end up getting shoved.



You are always there with me.



You are always asking where ive been.



It as come to the point where i get scared to talk to any friends.



Maybe we need time apart so we both can heal



and afterwards we can try again



If your willing to take the deal.



I hate and love you so much



Is this right to do?



But either way i know its clear



I have to be with you.

Dont Pick Bad Apples.
00:27 Nov 03 2009
Times Read: 560

What happened to you?



"Look at this one dad! is this one good?"



What happened to you that made you go so sour?



"Yeah low low, put it in the basket"



I remember going into the back yard looking for green apples so you could make your special apple sauce.



"Dont pick the apples that have holes in them or are brown, that means they went bad, unless you want worm apple sauce!"



"Yucky dad!"

I know there are better memories i have with you but, this one sticks out more than any other.



This is the time where you were happy



This is the time before you moved into the past.

Before you let the past consume you.

Before you turned into a brown apple.



But you told me not to pick brown apples didnt you?



Because no one wants a bad apple in apple sauce.

Holes going deep into their core.

Rotten until they turn brown and mushy.



As much as you want to have them and feel bad because they are brown, you still cant have them because they turn everything else bad.



I still love you dad and i want to be with you



But everything we do turns up in an arguement or turns out bad...



So im going to listen to you

No matter how much i dont want to



"Dont pick the bad apples. No one wants bad apples in their apple sauce."