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Today has got me thinkin...

Tomorow is my one year anniversary for being diagnosed with crohns disease. (Is that weird that i call it an anniversary??)

Tomorow is also Thanksgiving.

Fuck this stupid holiday.



Is it bad that i find this holiday kinda pointless? i mean hell there used to be a point but now

Its an excuse for pit stomachs to eat more.



You'd think i would like it but not so much sense last year.

Dont get me wrong i still ate three plates full but boy did my stomach throw a bitch fit.



Then for this years turkey day im going to have to go over to my aunts house who is a yup yup.

Lives in yup yup apartments in a yup yup town with yup yup people. Fancy, rich, wine drinkin, high class, fake ass, perfect life and family people.



Thats not me. If you cant tell already.

Im a high class white trash vampire who head bangs and dances her ass off whenever she feels like it and is not afraid to say it like it is.



In other words i dont play by the unwritten code of the rich.

The people with high status and money.

I could but hey i like me and i would rather be hated for who i was rather than hated for someone i wasnt.



But i digress, So im destined to the yup yup's for thanksgiving.

I was planning on staying home alone for thanksgiving or hanging out with my boyfriend but my mom ans sister had a bitch fit about me not going. not wanting to see "the family"



I knew either way it was going to have pros and cons.



Staying home pros:



1. i would be alone

2. the tv is free

3. boyfriend could come over ;)

4. blast my music and no one could bitch

5. finish some work for school

6. study time

7. cold get some peace and quiet





Staying home cons:



1. i would be alone :/

2. if i didnt go i would definately hear about it later

3. family would bitch about me not going

4. what would i eat? lol

5. this would haunt me for life

6. my phone would be going off the hook the day after because family would want to know where i was and they would want to share their peice of bitching and try to make me feel guilty.

7. i would be better off turning off my phone for that night. there goes half the technology i have in my house. we might as well use fucking candles.

8. mom and my sister would try to get me to go and might even drag me out to the car. I dont feel like being fucked with.

9. thats bound to cause an arguement

10. just bad.





Going to yup yup's pros:



1. family will be there

2. my cousin will be there. she might have bud

3. there will me kick ass food

4. it is always entertaining to hear words come out of their mouths

5. i wouldnt get bitched at.

6. i could write poetry about what goes on. the good and the bad.

7. its always fun to mentally fuck them if i get the chance to.

8. well... it is nice over there. nice scenery

9. i could be outside at night and they wouldnt bitch at me for it

10. its a good energy feed. not the best but good none the less

11. internet night be avalible, if so i can be on here the whole night.





Going to yup yups cons:



1. family will be there :/

2. i most likely wont talk much. it always pisses them off.

3. there is bound to be some comment about how i dress and how i look like trash. i dont want to hear it.

4. there is bound to be an arguement. about whatever really. i again dont want to hear it.

5. i mainly have to listen to my aunt and my mom bitch

6. my aunt is going to "size me up"

7. they are going to want to talk to me eventually.





ok i have written my pros and cons for each side and i have decided to go to the damn thing.

its better than hearing all the bitching i would hear if i didnt go. I might as well tough it out.

At least i can write and theres food.



Alright well thats settled.

I hope everyone elses thanksgiving is enjoyable and better than mine lol.

Chao :D

Ok so what i realize with my writings is that i dont

create an image in my writing.

When the reader reads my poem and there is no image it is harder to imagine and harder to find meaning in. I just insnt good. So im going to look through all my writingd and re-do them as best as i can and make sure i have a image for the reader.

This is going to take a bit. I have a lot of poetry/ writings.

Most of my poetry isnt even on here.

Ill be at work :)