The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

The paintbrush,

Twirling and whirling,

Never stopping,

It's bristles touch the paper,

With many bright colors,

Never dulling,

The hand grabbing,

And dipping in to black,

Never stopping,

The only way it will stop is,

Is if the hand stops,

Stops winding it around,

So then the paintbrush drops,

Now it's done!

She stands here,

Just whining-

Spying, listening,

Listening to the sounds,

Sniffle she goes-

Her earings going tinkle, tinkle-

He, him who yawns, stomps and looks down upon her,

No words said, none-

Nothing except,

Except for the growling wind-

Drip-drop goes her tears,

Weeping, gasping, nerves fore this

Not knowing what is going to happen, not at all,

The crackle of his mouth widening to whisper "it's done!"

how is it when you think you know,

that it's only the start and finish?

what's wronge with my thoughts?

they cancle eachother out,

one counter acts the other,

never to know the right way.

which direction can i go?

the simple roads have become more,

ore complications block my sight,

only oner can help.

where is my positive action?

where have i gone?

Never say I love you if it is not really there

Never talk about feelings if you really don't care

Never hold my hand if you are going to break my heart

Never say you are going to if you don't plan to start

Never look in to my eyes if all you are going to do is lie

If you really mean good-bye

If you really mean forever

Then say you will try...

Never say forever...

Because forever maks me cry

my decisions,

my thoughts,

they arn't the right path.

i feel and act,

as different person.

i can't pretend forever.

they need to know the truth,

the onr the knoe,

has vanished.

i am a new,

amist your doubts,

among your dispair.

the fantasy that is the one you know,

has covers and pretended,

i can't hurt you all forever.

i will be discoverd,

this life can't last an eternity,

how did it come to this?

How much easier could it be,

to run and never come back?

To never face my fears and actions,

pretending i don't feel this way,

easier than facing it all alone.

i don't feel the way i had,

the way i first did at the start.

everyone can see the scars,,

the deep wounds that never go away,

can't you see this pain?

everyday acts like the last,

slite change in feelings and acts,

hear me and listen,

help me stop my confusion,

as only i can!

My heart is a black hole,

Only to consume,

My only place of solitude,

Is inside my room.

Inside my mind,

I’m only to be trapped,

If it was like a race,

I would be lapped.

I can’t break my habits,

That scares you all away.

I need to stop playing,

I need to realize today.

Try to find those happy thoughts.

I have to think positive,

Although my mind wonders.

It’s like I don’t want to change,

Or my body won’t let me,

I do need to make up my mind,

And continue no matter what I see!

I wonder why this happens,

Wonder how to make it stop,

What do I fear?

What can I do?

Nothing to help me or save me,

I didn’t realize that,

Acting this way has drove me further,

Further into my confusion,

And losses numbered.

For now I have realized,

I am what I hate,

And I need to stop the lie,

Stop the act and awake,

Awake from this horrid dream.

Because I am so confused,

And the pain grows worse.

With each and every lie,

I have nothing to fight for.

I can’t understand how it is,

And why it became this way,

And why I feel and believe this lie I live.

You worry,

When nothings wrong,

You r ry to help,

When I don’t need it.

I can’t help it,

I make you try,

When it’s me,

And it’s never you.

You seem to think,

That you can help me,

When the only one,

Is me.

It I have only me,

To count on to change,

Then there is not a chance,

And no sign of hope.