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falling to the floor.
15:48 Jan 27 2005
Times Read: 543

Blood drops hit the floor.

Falling from my skin.

From the cuts I made my self.

From my broken heart.

Feelings that are all to real.

Tarring me apart.

Monstrous thoughts are in my head.

Telling me to depart.



So I sit in my room.

Watching the blood fall from my broken skin.

I cant sleep.
03:58 Jan 14 2005
Times Read: 554




Hiding from the pain in side.



I cant tell what is real.



my dreams have come to torment me.



each and every night.



I wake up screaming.



trying not to cry.



my dreams have turned to nightmares.



that feed o­n my childish fears.



I find it hard to sleep at night.



because tease dreams I fear.



the bags under my eyes get bigger every night.



I try to hold it back.



I try to forget.



tease nightmares I cant escape.



these dreams they torment my mind.



and for this I can not sleep.



I haven't had a good nights rest.



in almost several years.



the fear is just to great that I hide in fear.



so to night ill try just o­nce more.



to dream of other things.



things that do not wake me.



things that wont make me scream.



just this o­nce I hope I can sleep.



IV gone so long with out it.



I really need the rest.

No title ither
15:55 Jan 13 2005
Times Read: 559

im gone.

im dead.

im lifeless.

now.

i feel my haert.

its stoped its beating.

now.

the pain.

inside it burns it swells.

i feel at lest my mind give in.

now.

as i walk threw the vally of death i will fear no evil.

but my self.

that i will fear.

for i do not know how to live with out you.

now.

and i fear my self for what i might do.

not to you.

but to myslef.

i fera the knife.

that i hold.

so close.

its blade.

is sharp.

and its point is dull.

i think ill end it now and i start to push.

but then the pain it causes me.

to drop the knif and watch me self bleed.

with out you.

im nothing.

with out you.

im dead.

wiht out you.

im worthless.

i wahant you out of my head.

but you dont leav.

you stay and stare.

as the blood gose down my arme.

i swaer i love you still but you cant see.

im better off dead cuse i dont mean shit now.

~i cant think of a title~
15:53 Jan 13 2005
Times Read: 560

my life is never ending.

my soul is never mending.

my haert is allway breaking.

my mind is allways saking.

and it is filld iwht toughts.

of death.

of suicide.

of dieing.

of pain.

you've fucked me up so bad in side.

you'll never feel my pain.

as you sit thaer with you'r new guy.

i hope he gives you what you deserv.

but me im slowly dieing.

and i still cant stop crying.

i haert is all but broken.

so heres my las token.

as i step in to death boat.

he starts to take me whaer i belong.

To Hell.

for all the pain iv fellt.

hell couldint be much worse,

They do not understand.
15:47 Jan 12 2005
Times Read: 562

Deception,

Deceit,

Lies.



Fear,

Hate.

It is all tied.



Together.

When you look into the eyes of a mortal man.

You will see all those things.

Jumbled together in that tiny little mind.

That they all think is so complex.



But if they spent one day as me they would not be able to handle my thoughts.

My past.

And all that I have done.

They would surely not understand.

What I have become.



I have shared the blood of the gods.

I have had the blood of the wicked.

It tasted so very good.

I have had the blood of the innocent.

So very sweet it was.





And none of them would understand.

What I have become.

Or what i have to be.





(not one of my best but one of my oldest)