The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

AS I lay here with my son watching Wizard of Oz...my thoughts return to my own childhood...it was such a happy one..I had the best mom in the whole world...she was always so proud of me..she died of cancer one month before my son was born..I miss her so much....if only I could talk to her right now, tell her whats going on...she could help me..tell me what to do....but I can't and it makes me so very sad..

I sit here in the dark, by my window, all alone...and I wonder why I feel so at home here in vr....I don't know anyone, maybe that's why...I have no one here judging me, watching my every move just waiting and wanting me to make a mistake....here I can be me and not hide or lie...here makes me want to live again....at last I can see a bit of light in the darkness...I think some call it HOPE....

Well I put on another fake face and made it thru another holiday...all the words spoken, half of what are not real....I didn't even want to be here..I wanted to grab my purse and run out the door....get in my hummer and just drive! I'm tired of trying to be the perfect everythingt I just want to be me...no more lies!!!! I want to be loved for real, with passion, lust, and meaning...how do I get out of this mess.......how do I find me again lost under everything else???

why do I sit here in tears, surrounded by a house full of people and yet so alone....with every breath I take my heart beats faster....I want to jus disapear...to fade away like an old memory....I hate the world in which I live...and yet how to escape?? If only some knight in shining armor would jus rescue me...maybe I could live again...