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Okay.. I wrote this before but I accidentally deleted it..



Every night I go through this stage where I feel completely numb... Like everything I would normally feel just disappears and I am left with this aching in my chest where all I can feel is anger. These feelings trigger my self harm. It's the only hung that can get rid of this numbness.. I can do some stupid things when I am going through this stage I feel like I've lost control of myself an my chest is screaming at me to hurt myself.. As weird as that sounds its the only way I can make it end.



Lately it's been getting worse though... A lot worse, I've been getting voices in my head that echo and echo, they get louder and louder telling me to do things.. To cut deeper and burn my self worse..I any get rid of he voices until they are satisfied.. Then they just disappear and I am left with whatever resulting injuries they cause... It's been leaving me in stitches lately and every night has become a constant struggle to survive.. I can't fight these voices because.. Well, they are me.. They are inside of my head, how can u fight ur own mind?



My family doesn't know any of this.. They think I'm perfectly fine.. But what they don't know is when I kiss them good night every night.. I don't know whether I will wake up the next day :'(



I just want this to be over