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Sighs okay I’m not angry with anyone about this but concerning my past life. Please don’t misunderstand me I do enjoy songs and such. The documentary videos though, honestly It’s a bit much. I know the rumors about my past more than you realize first of all. It’s just really that i don’t want to remember my past life. There’s things that most only understand the surface of. So when I say to you I don’t want to be fully awaken or remember how my life was then. I urge you not to send me anything further I mentioned this once already. Do you really think for a second I like seeing red everywhere and finding myself smiling because of the blood. I had so much sparrow from the thoughts of myself. I hear the people calling me a monster echoing in my ears. I don’t want to face myself because my heart is torn between two different ways. Besides my ending wasn’t a fairytale. Each time I remember I have to face that time I spent in the stone building. It’s not pleasant to me and it’s not that I didn’t enjoy the life before that. Or even my memories as a child wasn’t joyous. Understand that some things weren’t written in history books or all so wonderful as you might believe, read about, even heard of. Please understand that much and again I’m not angry about anything. I just really want you to know how my life was then aside from the rumors okay. If nothing else again no more documentaries okay. I’ll consider the songs just not anything with a lot of details it’ll trigger my memories alright. Hope that you have a wonderful week and take care.



Erzsebet

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kyriaragnar33
05:50 Jun 19 2019

Besides I don’t have enough wine to wash away my memories every time. right now I’m stuck with just one bottle so it’s going to be a long night for me.

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Some things are going to be a distraction for me. Yet I wonder what would you do if you really knew what was in my heart all along? I wonder, what would you do once you had me? What I cherish most would you have the patience to find out? The things that I truly love are so very simple, if you only looked for it within your own heart. Yet even still, you know that I’m not like most. But You also know how impolite it would be to treat me like some other people you meet before me. So if I did take my chance with you know that I’m not naive to these things. I hope that one day I can find the courage to tell you myself someday. For now I am always going to be content and appreciate the friendship that we have together. Even though you say that I’m your favorite. Know this here and now and though this might not change anything. Please understand that I’ve always cherished you. Even though deep down my words have seemingly fallen short to say to you directly. It seems that this lifetime has been very unkind to me knowing this.

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TechnoRage
19:08 Jun 23 2019

Some people miss good things guess there idiots

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So I’m not sure why others try to pretend to be doctors. But this is really not the best way to go about opinions of something. I mean just because you can read a article from google doesn’t make you a expert or someone who has been to school. Seriously though, sighs well hopefully once people that I’m training really take it in. Because this field of work isn’t a joke or should be something for those know it all’s. The only thing that I can really say is that once they do get put into the situation. I would love to see them back up everything they say. But I already know how this is going to turn out. Besides that I not even sure that they understand the situation when it comes to diagnosis someone. Even if you are a doctor you can still be sued or fined for certain things. So imagine what’s going to happen to those who aren’t even licensed in the medical field? Right they are going to get into big trouble and I have to remind them. that they only have a opinion on things. But that’s why I really, really hate dealing with those type of people and think. they have some sort of authority because they can read articles on google. Omg sighs yea it’s one of those weeks. Well hopefully I can get through this homework. It’s very stressful cause I can’t get one step wrong with this. In other news I’m arguing with my ex fiancé again I still swear that he was lying to me about some things. But it was unanimous three to one. So guess I’ll consider believing him this time. Still don’t recall everything or that I was even there. But like I said I’ll consider it for now and see in time what will show up then.

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markus666
21:14 Jun 08 2019

Remember...X are X because things did not worked out.

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kyriaragnar33
17:36 Jun 11 2019

Hopefully it will and I thank you for the wonderful reminder my dear friend

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TechnoRage
19:09 Jun 23 2019

and sometimes when you break up means something better is along your way!

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kyriaragnar33
19:17 Jun 23 2019

I agree and thank you for the wonderful advice.

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This week is going to be busy for me. I’m on my final exam now for my schooling. But also because the owner wants me to personally help giving knowledge. Also the training of the new patient we are caring for. So I have so homework to do in the delegation forms. Basically she wants me to really take my time doing this. I don’t really have much time on my hands to being with. But that’s why I’m saying that I will have to catch up with everyone come next week. Please understand that I’m not ignoring you. Hope that everyone has a wonderful week and take care.



Erzsebet

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markus666
13:37 Jun 05 2019

Ahhh. You are always here...♥♥ Take your time and don't forget to sip some wine between pages...LOL

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kyriaragnar33
13:29 Jun 08 2019

Awwww 🥰 and I’m always happy to see a lovely friend like you. Well hopefully I’m not going to be too intoxicated 🥴 if I do (giggles).

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Lately I haven’t had much time to finish my exams I’ll try to make a effort today. Just really exhausted from doing double shifts as well. Plus I’m having to train some people how to take care of a fully paralyzed patient. Although there are a few things that I cannot teach them. Like patience, good listening skills, kindness, and people skills. I have even spent a hour of my time in the delegation. Writing down all the steps and things that they need to know. (Scoffs) but unfortunately these people don’t have a care in the world. So they threw away the delegation notes and then tried to cover it up. Sighs well I’m going to say just one thing. I’m going to make sure that I’m not on the clock if things goes wrong. Even though the patient feels like I am not giving him a voice or anything of the sort. I know how my temper gets when I scorn others for mistreating a person. I scared the last patient when i lost my temper. even though i was defending them. In any case if I have some time in between my exams I’ll catch up with you today. Please understand that I’m not ignoring you, well unless you just meet me and are saying that you love me. Then I hope that you understand that I’m actually being nice enough to ignore rather than speaking my mind. My mind isn’t the most pleasant place sometimes and can be dangerous for other times. Still it always has been a burden to my heart and I am a double edge sword so to speak.