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I have the feeling I'm losing a dear friend soon. I can feel it, it saddens me. Why am I always the first to know? When others that I know are dying. It complicates my life to the core. How would you feel to know the coming of someones very end?



I met him 3 years to the day, he told me once in confidence he did not have long to live, and that I'd be the first to know of his death. It's funny now to me, that I thought it was the drunken ramblings of a dear friend.



He was the only one to truly see me for what I am. He called me sister,he called me friend. Now with the sadness that feels me so, why did he have to tell me I'd be the first one to know. For months now I wondered why I had so much grief in my heart. Why I cried at night, not knowing the cause. I know now for I have come to realize, his lifes candle is slowly being extinguised.



I feel as if death himself has made me a friend. He lets me know when someones life close to me shall come to an end. Is this some sick gift? Fate thought it would be nice to give me. Everytime I have an urge to light a white candle I know someone is gone from my life. I can never embrace them again.



Death has many faces I have seen them all. We met with eachother briefly twice, and the third he decided to call me one of his own. As I lay upon the bed in the hospital giving life to one, he touched me. He gave me a gift to forknow when ones life was about to go.



A blessing or a curse you tell me. How would you take it? If you can tell when someones going to die within a month to the day. How would you liket o know when a loved ones life is about to end? Tell me, I can not be the only one who knows this greivious fate.

Life a grand jest we all want to forget, but can't because it looks us in the face and sticks out it's tounge with a smile so cynical.



People change places change I can not find one thing without change not even the heart.



We create the future in our past. In our past our future is set in stone for all of us to see.That's if your believe in destiny.

We ourselves create our own weaknesses. It is us who overcome them to rise to a state of dignity, and give ourselfes rank among our friends. We let ourselves be met by a change of status to seem great, and wonderful.



Show we want to be known as divine to everyone we meet, who sees us as Gods or goddesses. Who they are that see us as Gods or goddesses our children.



To them we are the saviors of this world. To them we are the only thing they look to for protection, nourishment, and a sense of worth for themselves. So they in turn can be come Gods or Goddesses to thier children when the time comes.



Be a good example to them show them the right way to be a magnificent person. Show them how to care.Teach them it's ok to be your own person, as long as they know the right ways.

I've seen the death of so many things but the death of someones spirit is the hardest one to see.Death comes in many forms physical, mental, and spiritual.A spiritaul death is so hard to take because after it's done the person has no will to live anymore.



The spirit needs something to believe in with out this the spirit slowly dies.This death is worse than dying of a cancer or even AIDS, because it's so slow and debilating you can not stop the process when it starts. There's not cure that can ease the suffering, or no pills you can take.

The scars can be see when someone has experienced a spiritual death. The scars resemble meloncaly,and emotionlessness.



Now a days I see a lot of people suffering from this. They have nothing to believe in or put thier fate in false hopes only to get thier dreams shattered. The world has become a dank cold place. With so many living ghost in it that it's hard to believe that this place is a living thing itself.



So to all of those who read this and figure out your spirit is dying, stop give yourself a hope to that you know can be fulfilled. Stop this from happening, or else you'll become a zombie like your parents had become. We are the generation that is going to change this world. So tak responsibility for yourself, and take the first steps in to the life you want not the life someone else has planned for you.

I saw you again last night. With the same look on your face. "Are you ready my love," you said to me. "I still can not give you an answer yet love,"I said to you. "Come with me and leave this place that causes you nothing but grief,"



No...I can not leave just yet far too many need me here, never could I forgive myself if I choose the selfish way out of this life. The look on your face was one of emence pain. Once again he left me to the fate I had chose.



You turned to me knowing I would never be happy unless all that I had started was finished here."I will come back for you again,until you join me I will always come back."



With that said I turned my face away from him so he that you wouldn't see my tears. "Now leave me, I can not bare for you to see me like this."Walking into the darkness of my room you dissapeared again. "Chevelian Namoh, victoci ac mi."Was the last thing you said.

You left me to my trade again of saving a world you think should not have one such as me to save. My dearest heart, humanity has it's good traits I only wish you could see them as have.

There it goes again, the dream of me changing. What am I to become? Is this the best thing for me? To morphe into something new, or to change in spirit will I be hardened or softened. Will this all be in vain? Someone or something please anwser me, I am losing myself again.



Who am I now some parts of me have already changed. No longer can I see who I really am in the mirror. Should I let this continue? Stop this from happening to me? What would be the cost to pay to never change at all?



The cost, I now know. The cost is the death of myself. Shards of my past still bleed me dry. They must all be put to rest. Evolution is such a tricky thing. My mind has already been through the process, next on the list my heart.



When will this all end? Never. If I do not evolve I shall become like an unfed plant and wiether and die. Death during rebirth is a hard thing but nessesary to truly evolve.



Take this all who read, and know the birthing process is hardest of all. Especially when rebirthing your soul.



~Kemmon~

Lately I have had so many wonderful people on here to talk to, you know who you are and you are all so great.*winks*at a certain sly Fox,I enjoy our bite wars very much you keep me on my toes.*LOL*



I do have many friends outside of VR but to me they are extended family.We are more like each others best line of defense against a world that views us as rejects.We are all gifted in ways that psychiatrist deemed most of them as crazy,for believing in things of paranormal orign.



The shadows hold many things the certain people if viewed with the eyes of a child, you would see in wonder. The world is in fact giving up her secrets so look for signs in things you would over look. Trust your eyes, and your heart more than you think you can. Trusting in your logic alone will stifle you true sight.



As I have said before in my profile, I am a healer there are many sickness running rampid in this world of ours. My job is to rid people of them. A doctor can only diagnose a sickness he can see or hear. Me on the other hand I now that evry sickness to a person, plant , animal and so on comes from something deeper inside.



Those of you who choose to chat with me I feel do so because you see in me apart of yourself. It may already be out to the world are crying to be released. I am most devoted to those who call me friend. This many have already found out, and others will soon come to learn about.



~End~



~Kemmon~