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Well I started a 2 day fasting diet today....it sucks...I can only drink diet V8 Splash with this T-Burn combo powder mixed in with it....it tastes like shit...but my mom's friend did it and lost 12 lbs so I thought I'd give it a try.

I actually had a really good time with my family on thanksgiving...we all got incredibly drunk but it was hella fun....I have actually been happy the last 3 days...we'll see if it lasts :)



I start a diet on monday...I hate them but it's time to do it...we'll see how it goes...

I feel the same as I did yesterday..I might put another poem in here that i wrote some time ago since Brett has been on my mind non stop lately...

This is me and my ex boyfriend's song...damn I miss him *sighs*





"Stuck on You" by Failure



I heard you driving in my car

Then in a frozen bar

I claimed I didn't care for you

But your verse got trapped inside my head

Over and over again

You played yourself to death in me.



I thought I'd drop you easily

But that was not to be

You burrowed like a summer tick

So you invade my sleep

And confuse my dreams

Turn my nights to sleepless itch.



Stuck on you till the end of time

I'm too tired to fight your rhyme

Stuck on you till the end of time

You've got me paralyzed.



Holding on the telephone

I hear your midrange moan

You're everywhere inside my room

Even when I'm alone

I hear your mellow drone

You're everywhere inside of me.



I can't escape your incessant whine

When you beam it out all across the sky

No, I can't escape your insipid rhyme

When you shoot it deep

Straight into my mind.

I don't know whats going on with me...i'm still in love with an exboyfriend from 3 years ago..i'm so fucked up in the head...I don't know if I'll ever stop thinking about my ex Brett...he was my whole world..I loved him more then anything...and he also loved me....I just emailed him tonight..even though we haven't spoken in a couple years...it was horrible that something was able to put a wedge in our relationship, something stupid that i don't feel like typing about, and now I feel as though my soul mate has been lost to me...i don't think i will ever find another one....i don't feel like typing anymore..too confused and depressed...I miss him like crazy and he's haunting my dreams...



I'm in such an emotional tale spin over this that I chose to once again be single...I feel like i can never replace him...its so sad for me and any male that comes in contact with me...

I'm tired of being stabbed in the back by people. I found out last night (while I was out trying to have a good time for halloween) that my best and only friend, really, has been spreading lies about me since we've met....that every failed relationship i've had with a male since we've met is because she's told them some bullshit lie about me to turn them away....and now she has a boyfriend (not a very decent one also) and she has dropped me....i have noone....how embarrassing to be i a bar that you've went to several times only to find out that the person u went with was poisoning the minds of other's around you...right in front of u! It pisses me off and makes me extremely depressed



Something positive is that i did meet someone that I really do like...he lives so far away though, but he's been around to listen to me cry over everything, and i appreciate it...