The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Todlich Unterwasser Gefahr (Deadly Underwater Danger-Prolog)
21:18 Jul 05 2009
Times Read: 867

My sleep was definitely disturbed. I wasn’t certain by what as I opened my eyes to the darkened interior of the inner bedroom. Used to the darkness, I didn’t bother to turn on a light as I stumbled sleepily into the bathroom to stare at my rumpled reflection in the glow of the clock’s led readout. What was I doing here? Why was I awake in a house in the middle of nowhere several hundred miles from where I usually called home? I touched my head and didn’t like the feel of the smooth skin, or the raised ridges of the recent surgery. My hair was a point of pride that I missed dearly.



I studied the contours of my sunken cheeks washed out too pale from nearly a year of sickness and deaths. I was too thin. I knew I was, but everyone told me I was looking so much better these days. I don’t want to know how bad I had gotten if this was ‘better’. My eyes looked wounded and bruised from the medication I had only recently stopped taking. I was here to learn to live again, but why should I? Everyone I knew was gone. There wasn’t much point to any of this. Still, as my only living relative…It was asking too much of me to blow off the opportunity to see Karen smile. She did it so rarely, but she enjoyed having me here.



“You are a mess, Neil. You need food and exercise and sunlight,” I said softly to myself. It wasn’t as easy as I made it sound. The drugs had made my body photosensitive, so sunlight hurt me and burned my skin too easily. The food didn’t stay down no matter how often I tried to eat it. The one thing I could do was physical activity, but I didn’t have the energy to do much of that and certainly not the motivation. “Who am I kidding?” Why had I alone not died? Why was I the only one left? What purpose did my suffering serve? I hated this…I hated all of it. I doubt that opinion would change anytime soon.



I pushed the button on the nightlight, the only source that hadn’t blinded me for the last year. It clearly allowed me to look into my own eyes. They were so unusual that people tended to stare if they ever clearly saw them up close. I studied them without any happiness at all. They were a mixture of colors. The center pupil was a tiny dark spot that rarely dilated properly in lighting. The outer edges were lined with a deep blue like a salt-water lagoon. There was a ring at the center by that thin black pupil too. It was a yellowish tint that only showed up in light under close regard. It wasn’t normal. And then, in between those two rings, there was an icy blue white coloration marbled with blackness like the petals of some exotic leaf being veined. He hated his eyes. The white was too red and dry, always hurting him, and always framed by lashes too thick and long to be decent on a man. People often asked him if he wore eyeliner or mascara, but it was just his natural eyes. Stupid eyes…



Neil threw on a baseball hat that had a picture of a wolf on a dark blue background before leaving the bathroom in nothing except the shorts he had slept in. His chest looked hollow as he ran his hand over it, pondering a t-shirt. It had sunken in showing his ribs obscenely. Who would see him at this hour that didn’t know what he looked like from head to toe? Karen was a nurse and her husband the doctor in charge of his life right now. Neil shook his head forgoing even a pair of tennis shoes as he followed the barely lit hallways out into the window-paned back porch.



He stood there at the door looking out into the night mists playing at the edge of the trees like some ominous living entity trying to entice him out of the confines of the known, living world. Neil knew it wouldn’t be smart to leave the house. The recent removal of the drugs was still causing his body to go through shocks, withdrawal, and even occasional seizures and delusions that twisted reality until he had no clue who or where he was. His hand once more found the scar just behind his left ear restlessly. It was a reminder of why he shouldn’t be standing here at all. It was a reminder of what he had lost and would never see again. There were no tears left in his soul. It felt as hollow as the warped, bruised, weakened shell he inhabited. Leaving the door open, he wandered over to the wooden railing around the porch absently watching the playing swirls of water. Water fascinated him as nothing else could anymore, so the mist drew him like a moth to flames. Still, he watched silently from safety.



“Tun nicht hinausgehen in der Nacht…” I sucked in my breathe shakily and looked out into the tree line warily. “Sorry, Neil, I forget…It is not safe. Not at night…in the trees,” Doctor Jerkewitz, also known as Karen’s beloved husband Ulryn, stated cautiously.



“Which would certainly explain just why you are standing within it yourself,” I stated caustically. I hated the shaking in my hands as I gripped the wooden railing to keep my balance steady.



“Neil, you know I mean you no harm. Why do I make you so angry?” Neil closed his eyes. I could feel the man moving closer, yet no sound betrayed him. When I opened my eyes, Ulryn was standing less than two feet away with his supermodel physic and his million dollar baby blues. I used to look like that, Neil reminded himself with a definite spurt of jealousy in my heart. “Karen loves you…”



“I can’t help that,” Neil hissed angrily. “I didn’t ask her for any of this! Do you really think I wanted to come here? Do you really believe I wanted to live at all?”



“Don’t stay out too long,” Ulryn sighed sadly. “You know you could get weak and not be able to return to the house. The night air…gets cold sometimes. I cannot tell you what to do, but I pray some ounce of reason still resides within you.” The strange man wandered into the darkened house without another word. He left the door open hoping obviously that I would choose to follow him inside.



Neil sank into a padded chair weakly grateful the man hadn’t stayed outside with him. The mist wasn’t long in fascinating me once more. I rubbed my clammy face in disgust watching the patterns vaguely. There was something dark in those swirls of white light. It wasn’t a tree. It didn’t look like something he remembered being there. Had Ulryn placed something out there just now? Knowing I would likely never make it to the edge of the trees without having to call for help to get back into the house, I stepped off of the porch.



Instantly, the night began to shift and change around me. I was lost in the sense of pure peace-filled abandon that sank into my soul. The night seemed to brighten without hurting these ridiculous eyes and the noises all began to sound like a musical melody played only for my enjoyment. I still couldn’t see what that darkness, so low to the ground was clearly.



Neil looked back at the porch steps in one last effort to convince myself to return. Just as I was about to sigh and give in, that thing at the edge of the trees began to shift and move slightly. I held my breath in terror. Then, I made out the shape of an animal’s head and eyes.



A short laugh burst from deep within me. “Well, hell…that asshole is hiding a dog! You poor mutt, how can you stand him?” I lowered my body carefully and shakily to a less threatening height and called out to the dark shadow softly. “Come here, fellow…I won’t hurt you. I can’t come to you…Come here, now.”



The creature stirred and came closer sniffing at the air warily. It was a very dark stain against the almost glowing white of the pale mist. It hid most of the animal, or the animal was purposely using it to hide himself. Less than two feet away, I gasped in horrified fear. That animal was no mere dog! It was an enormous wolf. My reaction and instinctive shift in attitude caused the creature to crouch, snarl and leap away as it raced into the trees to disappear without ever touching me. Had I dreamed it? Or had it been real?



Without conscious thought, Neil found himself following the animal into the forest. He didn’t even consider it being too far to walk on his own. It never occurred to him that he could get lost, or stumble and fall and not have the ability to return to his own two feet. None of these things entered his usually intelligent mind. No, Neil simply wandered into the mist…into the trees…surrounded by the sounds of birds and insects creating a hypnotic noise that beckoned him onward too swiftly to think of stopping. Other dark shapes began to move in the trees around him. Neil knew he was dreaming. None of this could be real. When he finally forced himself to stop, he was at the edge of a clearing filled with mystical creatures and swirling mist. The moonlight fell upon them all like enchanted silver.



I stilled in terror as an enormous snake dropped out of the tree overhead to wrap massive coils around my neck and shoulders. I didn’t move when more of its weight fell onto me. The slither of the face rose up to flick its tongue along my ear, hissing almost angrily. I stood perfectly still, wondering why I was in the forest…why was I not feeling so weak I couldn’t stand up straight…why? The snake began to shift unnaturally. It was all a dream. It had to be a dream. Creatures just did not magically melt from one shape into that of another. I went from having a massive snake weighing me down to being held by a man who could have won the strongman competition with arms the size of small trees and just as ropy with corded muscles. Still, I didn’t dare to move. What if it wasn’t real?



“Sich verlaufen…Schwachling? Ich verdursten…Nichts als deine Fantasie…” I gasped in fearful paralysis as teeth sank deeply into my throat. The sharp puncture of it caused my body to shiver even as a strange sensation settled over me. It all felt like a dream, nothing real, nothing lasting…yet I could myself weaken…dying. Those strong arms held so tight…and close…and I welcomed it body and soul without a moment’s hesitation.



The night air grew cold without warning and Neil felt himself slipping to the ground. He tried to protest. He tried to call the man back. He tried to beg him to stay and not leave him alone, but all he could do was slide softly into the moss at their feet with tears trailing down his face. The man didn’t shift back into a snake. Neil was watching his leather boots when they simply disappeared into nothingness. It had all just been a dream, so why was it breaking his heart to lose sight of it now? Why did it matter that he was suddenly and completely alone in the forest? Why did he care that the mists were leaving? Why did all of it just feel wrong?

Todlich Unterwasser Gefahr (Deadly Underwater Danger-Pt. 1)
21:18 Jul 05 2009
Times Read: 868


CHAPTER 1: Recovery

"Du warst ein sehr glucklich Mann, Herr Konnig,” someone spoke softly above him…to him.



“Ich weiB nicht Deutsche,” I rasp as I open my eyes to one more stupid male in a white lab coat. This one was very old and white –headed. “Oh, great…”



The doctor frowned slightly at my comments. “You are born German and you do not speak the language. That is very…” The male appeared to search for a word. I waited patiently. Finally, he sighed, “badly done…of you.” His accent was thick and it made me smile despite myself. “I say this…You are a very lucky man, Mr. Konnig.”



“I don’t feel all that lucky, Doktor,” I grumbled ill-tempered by the white walls around me.



The fellow was old and I was trying to be nice, but I could see I was failing miserably. He had that same look in his eyes that proclaimed me an ungrateful bastard. All doctors wore that face around me. They had saved my worthless hide time and time again…playing God. Who gave them the right? Their arrogance at expecting gratitude narrowed my eyes in wariness. He noticed the change immediately.



“Selbstmord ist so dumm…Mr. Konnig, I realize you may not wish to live a long and fruitful life, but it is my job to keep you healthy. Please, try not to look at me like I am a…Qual.”



I had to laugh. I understood enough of what he was saying to understand the German. A slight smile tilted up the corner of one of his lips just enough to show a tiny amusement. It sobered me up right fast. He didn’t like that. He didn’t like the pain that swelled in my eyes, so I looked away from him. “You are a torment,” I sighed. “Why can’t I just die like everyone else?” I heard his unhappy grunt of derision and turned back to face him angrily. “I am not suicidal…and I am not overly stupid, despite what you must think. A snake fell out of a tree on me! How the hell was that supposed to be expected?” I was hoping the snake had been real if nothing else had been.



“Mr. Konnig…”



“Neil, no one calls me that. I changed my name, for God’s sake! How do you even know it?”



“Vergissmein…” The elderly male ran a shaky hand through his white hair. “I know your family. It clearly says in your documents that your name is changed. I should have seen that. You are the boy Herr Konnig sent to America to live with his…friend…are you not?”



“If you mean, my bastard of a father sent me away to another country, by selling me to a damn asshole who made a fortune off of my ass…yeah, that would be me,” I growled glaring at him. “I should have known better than to return to Germany.” I started to get up, but a hundred little tubes and wires kept me from it. I glared at them helplessly.



“Please, stay…I am not intending to upset you, but to reassure you. Karen is very hysterical. When her husband found you bleeding in the woods, you did not look very good. When you came to me…you did not look alive.”



“That is the story of my life, Doktor! Get me out of these things…” The doctor did nothing except look at me sadly. “Are you going to keep me here against my will?” I wouldn’t have asked, but I was noticing the leather straps buckling me arms down right at that moment. My eyes widened and focused on him in horror. “Why don’t I think these are meant for my protection?”



“Karen is upset,” the doctor stated softly. “You must know by now where you are…”



“Ulryn told you to tie me down!” I tried to not sound incredulous. I hated that bastard so much. “I don’t think owning the damned hospital gives him the right…”



“Please, I am just a doctor,” the man stated with his hands rising slightly. I do what I am told, Herr…” He squinted at the charts vaguely. “This says your name is Herr Marionette. Do you think you are a puppet, Neil?”



“Haven’t I been,” I sighed so softly I didn’t expect him to hear it. “I hate Germany.”



“Then, why did you return? You could have said ‘no’.” I looked up at the doctor in dismay. “You were brought here by your own consent. You signed the paperwork giving Ulryn control of your well-being. You did this to yourself. I have no control over it.”



“Karen,” I hissed. “She begged me when I was feeling too sorry for myself to care about anything. I wasn’t thinking clearly. Do you really think anyone in their right mind would sign their life away to that jerk? I didn’t know him. Karen swore he was a good doctor!”



“He is…a good Doktor,” the elderly gentleman sighed looking weary. “No, I don’t think you did any of this on purpose. The fact remains that you are to be confined here until such time as Ulryn thinks you are well enough to return home, without upsetting his wife.” My eyes widened. That could mean ‘never’ knowing Ulryn. He hated me as much as I hated him. I began to shake my head in denial. “I am sure he wouldn’t do what you are thinking.”



“I am sure he would,” I whispered. “How do you know what I am thinking?” Someone entered the room behind him and the doctor tapped his clipboard on his leg as he leaned into me to check the bandage on my throat.



“This is snake bite?” He didn’t sound like he believed that description.



“It fell out of a tree. I didn’t feel very good. I was weak…tired. I guess it bit me; I don’t really remember it clearly,” I mumbled softly.



“Then, you are twice as lucky to be alive. Snakes around here can be poisonous. You bled quite a bit…I think it must have saved your life. We found no trace of toxins in your bloodstream.” The doctor moved to the side and I saw Ulryn standing at the door watching me coldly. “You are lucky your relative here found you so soon…”



I allowed my eyes to widen in question and innocence. I knew I looked awful. Perhaps my problems with my health would hide the anger and hatred eating at me. I felt so lost…so hopeless and alone. I let Ulryn see that vulnerability instead of how I felt for him. “Ulryn…”



“I told you those trees were dangerous,” Ulryn stated low and uncertainly. Had my eyes lied in ways I didn’t trust? He looked confused. “Are you certain he is going to live, Doktor Mai?”



“Ich keine Ahnung haben,” the old fellow sighed sadly. “Sein Leben ist voll von unvorstellbar, unglucklich Heuchelei. Wenn du willst entschuldige…” The old male stepped toward Ulryn purposely expecting him to move aside. There was anger in those pretty blue eyes. What had the old doctor said to him? Ulryn stepped away looking apologetic as the old man escaped gratefully and a little too arrogantly for Ulryn’s taste.



“What did he say,” I asked too helpless with curiosity to contain myself.



“He said you would get better if you wanted to get better,” Ulryn lied casually. We both knew he lied. I tried to act as if I didn’t care, but I wanted to know what the old guy had said to piss him off. I should have known he wouldn’t tell me. I needed a damn German/English dictionary if I was planning on living here again.



“I really hate not knowing German,” I finally sighed. “Why am I still here? When can I go home this time?” He knew how badly I hated hospitals. Anyone looking at me could see it in my pleading, tear-filled eyes.



“Neil, you don’t listen when I tell you things,” Ulryn stated purposely.



“I will! Please, don’t make me stay here! Ulryn, I swear I will do whatever you want…Just get me out of here, you know I hate it!” I flinched when his hand tried to touch my cheek.



“You used to be so pretty, Neil.” I heard the anger in his voice as he reached out a second time and caught my jaw in his huge hand. “You should rest. You look like shit,” Ulryn sighed in frustration. “You are not eating again. The IV’s will do you good. They are feeding your stupid ass! I have you on so many, perhaps one of them will make you gain some weight. None of it has to hit that selective stomach of yours, just straight to the blood…just the way you like it. Your hair is also getting some help. I had them add things to make it grow more quickly. That is not normally a hospital prerogative, but I own the hospital and I made it imperative. You can’t be seen like this!”



“I don’t care what I look like,” I whispered dully. I knew why he cared. I knew why and it bothered me more than I liked to know.



“I do!” Ulryn let my face go and paced the room. “So, you got a hit on the head and a little memory damage! Who cares about that? You are world-renowned! Everyone knows your face, Neil. I won’t have some uninformed journalist coming in here to snap photos of you looking like you do! They will blame my hospital, my staff, and me! I am supposed to be taking care of you, but you won’t let me!” Ulryn rarely lost his temper. The idea that he was standing there hissing at me so furiously was terrifying. I was going to rot in here. He would never let me out now.



“Is he still alive then…”



Ulryn didn’t pretend to not know what I was talking about. The sadness and hopelessness in my face had removed all pretenses between us. “Yes, he is…They have him in a body cast and a purposely induced coma until he recovers.” I closed my eyes and couldn’t breathe. He was alive. “I am responsible for you until he is well enough to come get you.” The little monitor beside my bed stuttered. “Neil…” My chest began to hurt and I tried to breathe in. There was a vice crushing my ribs and it wasn’t possible. Pain shot through my body and it rose up like it had been electrocuted. The monitors began to sing. “Neil! Doktor!” Flashes of lights, muted sounds…



A voice whispered clearly into my head. “Nichts als deine Fantasie…” I could almost feel his powerful arms crushing my chest as his teeth sang below the surface of my skin. I screamed. I know I was screaming, but I couldn’t stop myself. I could feel that man in the forest holding me, pressed to my back distinctly, sucking at my throat…It felt more real than the hands holding me down to the bed, or the needle slipping into my arm, or the liquid spraying out of my mouth and sliding down my face. It felt far more real than the electric shocks flash-frying my system and my mind. He was not real. It had been a snake, so why was I hearing a voice I did not know. It was the same…so clear and distinct. It didn’t have a German accent, but it spoke the words perfectly. What was he saying? How could I hear a man speaking in a language I didn’t know if he wasn’t real? “Nachgeben…oder sterben. ”And then, nothing…I felt myself passing out and wondered if I would ever wake up again. It was an old, familiar feeling to me.



I woke to the sound of voices speaking nearby in an echo-filled room. I was exhausted. My eyes and throat burned. Instantly, I felt my eyes begin to leak tears. Why was I still alive? The softness of the pillow was the only reason I didn’t slide back into sleep. Someone had arranged me upon the bed in my usual position of sleeping on my side facing the lights. Lights put me to sleep. It must be night, as the only light in the room came from the side table and monitors. My head hurt, but I had to admit if only to myself that I did feel better. Perhaps the IV drips were finally giving my body some of what it needed to recover properly. I was hoping there were no drugs in them. I am so sick of being drugged. The first doctor after my near death had said ‘no more’. He had told everyone that more drugs would shut down my kidneys and liver…causing my instant death…a slow death to be sure, but irreversible. Not a way I would pick to die…and probably the one waiting silently for me in my future.



“…Krankheit…homosexuell…”



“…umstritten, es gibt ein Widerspruch…unterscheiden…”



“…aus verdammt…unerhort Bastard…”



“Halt die Klappe! Sein Krankheit ist nicht sexuell. Diese ist Belastigung!” Now, there was a voice I recognized. It was distinctly female and cutting off the two men who sounded like Doctor May and Ulryn.



It was Karen. I could tell enough of the conversation to decide I didn’t like what was being discussed. “Karen,” I croaked. Was that my voice? It sounded like someone shifting on the mattress rather than air passing vocal chords. “Karen, Ulryn doesn’t want me near you.”



“What? Neil, is that you?” I felt her moving closer to the bed and I felt her lean over me.



“Ulryn is keeping us apart,” I practically yelled. It was a mere squeak of sound, but it was heard.



“That is a lie! Karen, I would never…”



“Shut up! You are the only reason he is still in here,” Karen hissed. “You know he hates hospitals. You could have him at home chained to a bed and being injected with IV’s just as easily as you can do it here. So why haven’t you?” She moved away from the bed and I almost smiled. If I had the energy, it would have been plastered all over my face.



“You know I have to leave for that…”



“You could hire a doctor to watch him at the house,” Karen interrupted. “Hire Doktor Mai…He used to work for my family and never minded house calls. You just don’t like him!”



“Karen, that is not…” There was a heavy sigh. “I don’t care. Do whatever you want with him until I get back, so long as he lives. He is suicidal, Karen. You know that as well as I. Watch him closely; because you know we cannot afford the bad press if he dies at our house.”



I tried to relax when I heard the door close behind his retreating presence, but I couldn’t. “Esel Hohle…” The old doctor was winning favor with me. I knew that little word combination and had often thought it myself in reference to the man. “Why in the worlds would a member of your family marry such a creature?”



“Doktor Mai, that is enough. He is my husband,” Karen sighed wearily.



The doctor snorted. “Even his father warned you against it,” he stated tersely. Somehow, I had a feeling we were talking about my father and not the father of the jerk she married.



“Herr Konnig is not to be mentioned around Neil, Doktor Mia. It is cruel to remind him.”



“Yes, ma’am,” the old gentleman stated distinctly, but as if he were thinking something altogether different from what he was saying. I moved. It was a painful process that I hated, but I wanted to see the doctor’s face again. There was something I had missed.



“Herr Mia,” I whispered giving up trying to see him without help. I felt the air move and shift around the man. I didn’t have to ask if he was coming to me; I knew he was. He made no sound at all, but I knew…as I have always known. The man leaned down to look me straight in my face and I felt every inch of me flinch away. He had dual-colored eyes! I had only ever seen one man with eyes like that. The doctor retreated looking puzzled until he realized I had seen his eyes past his thick-rimmed glasses.



My eyelids twitched and my vision blackened. All noise in the room muted as a scene replayed in my unreliable memories. I could see him. I could see the shape of his face and those eyes in a much younger man with hair the color of spring wheat arguing with my father. “You know I disapprove of this! Why are you doing it? The boy should stay here!”



“So you can see him every time you come over to screw my wife, doctor? I don’t think so.” The malice and deadly anger in that voice had always frightened me. “Someone has to pay the price of your sins.”



“Not like this, Konnig! Don’t do this to a child! He didn’t do anything wrong!” I could clearly see my father wrap his hands around that pale, slim throat. I remembered those eyes as they widened in utter terror. “Konnig…I have always done whatever you have asked.”



“Yes, you have, my pet…I do appreciate that. I do, but you have overstepped your boundaries this time. My wife told me how you look at him. She tells me everything. It doesn’t take much to look at him and see why. If he is going to grow up perverted, it is going to be a measure of my own choosing…and not yours.”



“Konnig, I wouldn’t…you don’t understand,” the man had gasped frantically as his eyes bulged and he began to turn blue from lack of air. “Konnig, please…” That last was barely a movement of lips as the doctor’s body began to twitch in frantic spasms. Still, the man had never thought to fight that hold on his throat. Even as he knew he was dying, he had never once tried to stop it. Only once did he reach out…to touch my father’s face as tears broke out of the corners of his eyes. It wasn’t long before his head fell back and his body grew limp. My father was furious, letting him go angrily and looking disgusted with himself.



“What the hell are you looking at,” he snapped at me. I couldn’t move, so I closed my eyes. When I opened them again, I saw the old man Mia and I knew he was the same man. Obviously, my father had not killed him as I had thought.



“I know you,” I rasped frightened. “You work for my father! Get him away from me, Karen.”



“I am just trying to help you,” Herr Mia stated softly.



“Perhaps you should just go and let me talk to him,” Karen suggested.



“No,” the old man whispered softly. “Nothing you say can help this. He has seen who I am; he remembers me now. What will we say to him when he remembers you, my dear? He has to accept us on his own. It is the only way.”



“He won’t accept us. He won’t even accept who he is…” I tried to frown at her, but that would mean taking my eyes off of Herr Mia and that was just not something I intended to do.



“Listen, little girl…he has more reason to hate me than anyone in the universe,” Herr Mia snapped angrily at her. “Don’t belittle that! Don’t belittle him!” I was surprised he hadn’t looked at her with the hatred in his eyes, but his eyes stayed solemnly locked to my own. He hated her. He hated her as much, if not more, than he hated her husband. But I saw no hatred of me in those eyes.



“I am tired of seeing people treat him as if he has no right to be in this world, or have an opinion of it! He never did anything wrong," Herr Mia whispered. He looked so upset and his brown-gold and green-gold eyes begged me to understand. "He was just born into the wrong place at the wrong point in time. I tried to stop this," he whispered to me alone coming closer to me to look me in the eyes. "I tried to help you." He reached out and almost touched me, but at the last second he did not. "Don’t you recall how I threw myself in front of you? Please, boy, tell me you remember!”



“I can clearly hear his voice,” I hissed. “He said this was your fault! All of it…was your fault. What did he mean?”



Herr Mia nearly flinched. “I owe you many things,” the old gentleman stated as he backed away. “The answer to that question,” he bit out sternly, “is not one of them.” He turned for the door. "I will get the documents ready for you to sign. He will be ready to go back to your house by morning...and me with him...if you wish it." My heart was hurting and my throat was swollen with emotions I didn't recognize when the door slapped shut behind him. I didn't see Karen adding a sedative to one of my IV drips until it was too late.

Todlich Unterwasser Gefahr (Deadly Underwater Danger-Pt. 2)
21:18 Jul 05 2009
Times Read: 869

“Ich erwarten ein voll Wiedererlangen schlieBlich,” I heard Doctor May state softly. “Nein, wie ton ich sagen ihn diese?” I didn’t hear anyone in the room speaking to him, but there was a buzz of noise. Was he on the phone? “Nein, nein…Ich kann nicht…Rouleau, ich kann nicht…nein!”



“Oh, don’t shout,” I whispered as my head pounded with the harshness of it. A groan escaped me and caught his attention better than my scratchy, barely there voice.



"Warten...I have to go," the doctor hissed clicking a phone shut as he came over to check on me. "How are you feeling?"



“Do the words ‘like I was hit by a truck’ mean anything in Germany?” I tried to rise up on my elbows, but the IV’s got in my way. The doctor looked upset and as if he wanted to help, but he didn’t touch me.



I heard him swallow to clear his throat. “It means something,” he whispered softly. “I know Ulryn thinks you are gay and that you have HIV, but I know you do not.”



My eyes narrowed on him speculatively. “Yeah, you probably do know that,” I stated coolly. “So where is my father? I am sure he is itching to get me back to the states and out of his hair. I am surprised he isn’t here yet.”



“I haven’t told him,” the doctor whispered fearfully. “Do you have any idea how much trouble I could get into for this? I am too old to take his…temper.”



“So who were you talking to on the phone,” I asked calmly. “Was it Ulryn?”



“No, Rouleau…he is an old friend of your father…I had to tell someone. I can’t keep it a secret that I am not at the hospital and not with him or your mother either. Eventually, Konnig will start asking questions that no one can answer.”



“So he will know…It is only a matter of when,” I stated trying to not sound anxious about it. “Why are you doing this for me?”



The old gentleman smiled softly. I couldn’t look at his face with that expression on it, but I made myself. “Ah, Neil…I wish I could tell you, but if none of them have figured it out…I can’t. I am sorry, boy.” That look made me distinctly uncomfortable. I probably squirmed a bit. “It isn’t what…Konnig thinks,” the doctor hissed. “Don’t ever believe that lie! I told him. Only him and none of the others…”



“If he knows, why not tell me? You said this wasn’t my fault! If it isn’t my fault, why didn’t he ever come to get me?” I didn’t like the sound hurt coloring my voice, nor the irritation of the tears clouding my eyes. “He never wanted me, did he?”



“I have a feeling that is about to change, boy. Trust me on this one…He won’t hate you now, or if he does…he won’t hate you for long. He cannot afford to hate you anymore.”



“I have no idea what you mean!” I drug my hands over my face roughly. “I am so confused…Everything confuses me! I don’t remember what I am supposed to think anymore! I don’t want to consider the things still in my head…You have no idea what it is like to not remember who you are, and thinks the way I do!” I scratched at my skin and felt him shackle my wrists in his own hands to keep me from doing any more damage. I could feel a scream building within me, and he was too old to contain it. “Tie me down,” I hissed. “You can’t hold me without my consent!”



I felt my hands go down. I felt the leather straps jerk down snugly upon them. “How tight do you need them?” I felt him tighten ankle straps and reach for a belt to slide over my chest.



“More,” I groaned feeling the insanity creeping over me by slow degrees. “Ah, Gods…”



“Neil…” The chest strap snapped closed as suddenly I was propelled upward by hard jerks of electric shocks. The screams were the worst; they hurt my already aching head. The doctor was thrown across the room. Had I somehow hit him by accident? “Magie…Rouleau, Ich benotigen dien helfen. Es gibt ein sturmen…Ja, ja…Mach schnell!”



The room swam with what felt like itchy bugs crawling all over my flesh. I hated it. It stung and bit at me relentlessly as I screamed and screamed and groaned at the very noise I was making. I was crying my eyes out when it stopped. Exhausted, I lay there limply and just stared at the wide eyes of the elderly doctor on the floor where he had fallen. His phone was still open and lying on the floor where he had forgotten it. I don’t know how long we watched each other across the silence. I couldn’t hear anyone else in the house. Had Karen gone to work? That would make it midday. I blinked, sighed and looked around the barren room.



“I am sorry,” I whispered. “I don’t know what is happening to me. It isn’t supposed to hurt like this. No one told me it would hurt.”



“It shouldn’t,” he stated softly looking worried.



“It is bloody well doing a good job of breaking all of the rules! Why is it killing me?” The doctor stood up shakily and I realized he was much older than he seemed. When he was pale with fear and shock, he looked beyond seventy already. Was he that old? I didn’t think that long had passed, but I didn’t remember his age when I had left.



The doctor shook his head. “I don’t know, Neblig Wald Konnig.” The use of my full name made me flinch, but the doctor met my eyes solemnly. “You should recognize your name. There is meaning to names, Neil. You should know yours.”



“My name is Marionette. It means exactly what I am. I am not the boy you remember sitting on my father’s knee laughing. I have no father. Not anymore…he doesn’t want me.” The doctor touched my face and looked stricken with agony.



“Don’t say such things,” the older man whispered brokenly. “I know he loves you. He has always loved you, boy.” I wanted to hear those words, enough that I didn’t mind being touched by someone I barely remembered.



“Then why did he send me away?” If anyone would know the answer to that, it was him. My father and he were rarely apart…ever, even now. “Why did he leave me there for so long?”



“Ja, Ihnen abbrechen mein Herz…” The doctor looked ready to talk. Unfortunately, his backup arrived at that very moment and spoiled it.



“That would suggest you have a heart to break, my old friend,” a male voice stated sassily before I could turn towards the presence I suddenly felt, but did not hear, in the room. I heard the man draw in a swift breath of air. “Well, well…what do we have here? I know you; I met you…recently, I believe.”



Cold chills washed through me. I recognized that voice. It was the creature from the forest; the snake that had turned into a man and bitten me. I looked at him in horror. He was real. He was very real and he was huge. His black hair and deep dark tan almost made him look black all over, but there was some lighter color to him. “Rouleau…” The doctor looked guilty for a moment before he backed away and took his hand off of me nervously.



“I agreed to keep your secret, doc. I am beginning to wonder if you…haben ein sekundar Grund fur Verschwiegenheit. I won’t keep this from him if you are planning…ein Verrat,” Rouleau stated carefully. I blinked at them in confusion.



The doctor looked horrified. He was shaking his head in denial. “I wouldn’t do that! You know me better. Hell, Konnig once accused me of the very same thing! I am beginning to wonder what you creatures think about running around all day with ideas like that in your heads. Not everyone is a sick, twisted little fuck; I will have you know…”



Rouleau laughed with a touch of evil crossing his face. "Ja, auBer Dokter...wir all wissen was ein aufreizend Nutte du bist." Doctor May paled and then flushed in outrage.



"How dare you...you...you," the doctor hissed in fury. "There isn't a word in any language to describe what a foul beast you are!" The elderly man's words only made that sinister smile pull wider at the edges in amusement. "Rot in hell; it is where you belong anyhow! Tell Konnig and save me the damn trouble, you asshole! I dare you! I wish you would, because I don't want to do it myself."



"No, I won't be so kind, Doc." Rouleau walked up to the poor, shaking man and ran a hand down his cheek. "I shall enjoy seeing you punished when he sees what you have done this time. I believe he was sorely jealous of the boy the last time he was here. What would he do should I tell him that I caught you touching him?"



"I am a doctor...I must touch all of my patrons," Herr Doktor Mia stated weakly. Rouleau tapped his forehead and shook his head 'no'. "I don't care what you think you saw. He will know it was not what you believe."



"You are so loyal to him, Doc. Sometimes, I wonder what inspires such a thing in you. I have beaten you as he has and not gotten such a passionate response from you. Why him?"



"You are just jealous," the doctor whispered looking at me in resignation.



"You bet your damn ass I am! You were mine!"



"I was never yours, Rouleau...You simply owned me. I believe even this boy could tell you the difference between the two," the old fellow sighed. I stared at Rouleau in amazement. It horrified me to think of the old man beneath the sheer size of this muscled, dangerous creature of the night. How had he survived it? "You were never kind to me. That is the difference..."



Rouleau sighed in frustration. "You never asked me to be kind, and you liked the pain every time I was with you." He moved closer to the doctor, who stood there like an idiot as that bulk came within striking distance. "I gave you up willingly," he mumbled as he touched the old man's face gently. "I let you go to him."



The doctor gasped for air, only then letting me notice that he had been holding it.



"I can be gentle too," Rouleau whispered as he leaned down close to his face, "but I never expected you to stay with him for the rest of your damn life!" Anger replaced all of that longing in his dark eyes. "Hell, Geliebte...I missed you. Did you ever consider that while he was strangling the life out of you? Every time you made me watch him hit you...and do nothing! Nein!"



"I am sorry," the doctor said breathlessly. "I had no idea you even cared for me." Rouleau laughed coldly, jerking away from him to walk across the room. He was back to looking sinfully dark and deadly vicious. "I didn't. You never said a word to me! I am not a mind-reader the way you are! You could have told me. You knew what I thought...You could have told me," he whispered angrily.



"No, I couldn't have," the huge man scowled. "You were already in love with him by the time I realized I could lose you. You don't need my help." He burst into a cloud of dark smoke and dispersed out into the room while my shout of fear was still echoing around the room.



The Doctor sighed heavily. "And now I look like a fool to you, as if I wasn't a big enough one already..." He turned to me nervously. “I am very sorry you had to hear that.”



“It didn’t even occur to me that you and my father were fighting because you are gay,” I stated without thinking about it. The man’s eyebrows rose in amazement and a hint of protest. “He said you were screwing my mother. I thought…I thought he hated you,” I whispered. “I thought he killed you…that night.”



“He almost did. It actually surprised me that I woke up afterward. Considering what he thought I had done…” The doctor shook his head sadly. “Haven’t you realized? He thought I wanted you…as a lover. You look so much like your mother, boy. I have always preferred men, though, so Konnig was never jealous of her the way he was with you.”



“So he sent me to a sadist to make me famous and miserable,” I stated solemnly. “At least, you always got to see my pretty face…”



“Neil…” The doctor didn’t look pleased by my answer. “If I had known you were going to grow up so rude, I wouldn’t have bothered to be worried about you. As is, I can’t seem to help myself. I am concerned about your health. You are clearly not well, and I want you to be. So, let us find ‘that pretty face’ of yours from the ashes of this creature you have become. Shall we?” His terse wording told me plainly that I had hurt his feelings.



I looked him straight in the eyes as he checked the bandage at my throat. “You have had a very bad day; you don’t deserve a mean kid like me harassing you.”



The old fellow met my eyes with his lovely, dual-colored, thickly framed eyes…I could see why they had all fought over him…once. Now, he was just old. “No, I don’t deserve to have a kid…at all,” he stated softly with a chuckle as he began checking the IV’s also. “If your father even hears a whisper that I have been near a boy of your age, he will be furious with me. That man is very jealous.”



“Why do you put up with it? He hurts you.”



“I like to be hurt,” the doctor grumbled with a red face. “Besides, he…” The doctor shook his head. “It isn’t my place to say such things out loud. If you want to know, ask him.”



“He won’t talk to me. He won’t even look at me,” I protested.



“Things change, little Konnig…all things change when given time.” I felt myself drifting around the sound of his voice. It was fading and growing fuzzy in my head.



“You drugged me,” I hissed in terror. “Oh, Gods, why…” He looked at my tears and seemed upset by them. “What did I do wrong?” My comment brought a startled gasp to his lips. His own eyes grew moist and so sad it broke my heart to see it.



“Hush, boy,” the doctor sighed reaching down to hold me gently in his arms. “Hush, you did nothing wrong; you simply need the rest.” I let him hold me. I knew how much he had always wanted to touch me like this even without understanding why. I allowed it and wondered if it was the same when I looked more dead than alive. “Neil, I have to save you somehow. You need energy of some form, but your body is wasting it. These seizures are its way of burning the energy off. I don’t understand it any more than you do.”



“Then, let me die.” I felt him hold me closer and shudder at the idea. He shook his head ‘no’ fiercely. “I can’t stand the pain.”



“Pain isn’t so bad,” the doctor teased. “You can get used to it.” I burst into tears. I shouldn’t have. I couldn’t stop it. His words hurt so badly, and I didn’t even know why. He just breathed steadily against me as I slowly felt myself slipping away upon a haze of drugs.



“I have never liked gay men near me,” I managed to slur brokenly, “especially when I am drugged and…helpless…They touched me, and did...things.” I was too tired to speak. He was probably wishing I would shut up anyhow.



I felt him stroking my bald head and I felt his lips just on the far side of the surgery scar. I tried to pull away from him. “You are safe, Neil. I would never allow anyone to touch you if you didn’t want them to do so.”



“You are touching…”



“I am different,” the old man stated bluntly. “I mean nothing by it. I mean only to comfort you. You have always been more of a son to me than that sort of thing,” he growled in frustration. “I am sorry you were treated so badly. I wish I could have helped…but you understand that none of them ever raped you, don't you? I am a doctor. When you were brought in by that asshole, I had you checked. I didn't realize you were Konnig's little one then. You are still a virgin unless you have been with some woman.”



"No," I whispered looking up at him in dazed disbelief. "He never drugged me for them."



“You never slept with all of those beautiful models,” the doctor teased as his lips moved over my scalp and I drifted back into relaxation.



“He wouldn’t let me. They weren’t allowed to move against me much. It was the men he allowed to touch…to seduce…anything they wanted,” I growled in disgust.



“Hush, not anything…not everything they wanted, I am sure. He must have set limits. Still, I don’t like that he wouldn’t let you touch the females. I am assuming he had plans for you that distinctly involved a male lover at some point. Did he flirt with you himself?”



“Flirt,” I groaned in disgust. “If that is the word you want to use for it…I slept nowhere if not in his bed. I bathed only when he was able to be there and watch…touch. I was always drugged if he wanted more than watching. I was always helpless, or weakened in some way. Gods, I can still feel him on me!” I jerked and the doctor peeled himself away swiftly to hit the wall at the far end of the room. “My father will send me back to him.” I felt like such a jerk. I had scared him. He was old. It could have killed him to be frightened. “I don’t want to…go back to him.”



“Ich wunschen ich kannst versprechen du jene, mein Kind…Ja, ich wunschen zu…” The doctor rubbed his face wearily glancing at his watch as he did so. “I must go, Neblig.” He came up and touched me again, checking the straps for tightness. “I am sorry about this. I really can’t stay and you won’t like being alone tied down this way. I will lock the door. Only I have the key. I haven’t a clue how will manage to slip away often enough to see to the IV’s, but I have no choice. I don’t trust anyone else to keep you safe except Konnig, and he would be angry if he saw you like this.”



"Don't leave me," I begged.



"I am sorry, boy." I grabbed his hand as his checked my wrist for security. "I have to go..." I saw him lean down and I wanted to let him go to stop what I knew he was going to do, but if I let him go...he would leave. So, I let him kiss me. I was startled when it was placed delicately upon my eyebrow. A thumb brushed over my eyes to close them. "Relax...I will stay for a moment more."



I made a strangled sound that I didn't like knowing came from a grown man, much less me. It was mortifying to think I was so frightened I was acting like a child.



"You should rest, Neil. You need to sleep. It will do you good and it is the only time you don't have the seizures." I felt his hands moving carefully over my neck to press lightly into the tension there. He began to hum a tune that felt so familiar to me. I knew it and knew it well, but the memory was lost. My eyes were thick with sleep. I couldn't hope to keep them open much more. I felt tears slip down my face. I hated this. I hated everything about it.



I felt him pull me closer to his warm, beating chest and I drifted trying to place the memory it hinted at. I knew the feel of that song. I knew the memory of those hands working gently on my shoulders. Had he ever touched me like this before? Was that why my mother had told my father he wanted me? Had he held me, and soothed me, and rocked me to sleep like this? A distant part of me knew he had. How else would I remember the feel of it? Wouldn't anyone want to touch and hold a child he had helped to raise?



The sound of the song changed. I could feel his tears mingling with my own. My entire face was coated with them. "Mein Gott...warum," I heard him rasp as he pulled himself away from me reluctantly, "mein klein Schatz...es tut mir Leid!" I heard him leave. I couldn't stop him. I couldn't stay awake.

Todlich Unterwasser Gefahr (Deadly Underwater Danger-Pt. 3)
21:18 Jul 05 2009
Times Read: 870

I woke startled to hard arguing. “Why are you even here? You were supposed to be in Vienna with me, not down here slumming with my relatives!”



“Konnig, please allow me to speak! How can I answer you if you won’t let me?”



“There is only one reason you would come here, pet. It isn’t a reason I want to hear out of your lips right now! Why? Gods, no…don’t answer that!”



“Konnig,” the doctor choked huskily. “You still doubt me?”



“Hell, no, but what am I supposed to think? You are slipping out of the hospital all day! You are slipping out of my bed all night…”



Even I had to admit it sounded damning, but I was still sedated too much to come to his defense. Had he really not noticed me yet, or was that why he was so angry? “I love you,” the doctor sighed wearily. “If you don’t know that by now, it will never sink into your head. Even Rouleau…”



“Don’t say his damn name,” my father hissed severely.



“…knows how much I love you,” the doctor finished grumpily, “you idiot! Why do you never hear me when I speak to you? I can’t take this. I can’t take not knowing if you will ever believe a word I say to you…”



I could open my eyes. I could see them. Doktor Mia was crying thick streams of tears as he held a face unchanged by time and stress. My father looked furious and uncertain. There was so much fear and pain in his face that it left little doubt why he was so angry. “Don’t ever lie to me and I would trust you,” Konnig told him sadly.



“I can’t help what must be done, love. I had no choice. You didn’t leave me any option except to lie to you. How could I tell you this? How could not come?”



“You came to see him!” I saw the doctor wince when he was shaken harshly. “Have I ignored you so much? Would you think to go back to him now? I only leave you be when you ask it of me, pet. You ask a lot lately. You return to me smelling of tears…I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know…”



“Because you only think the worst things of me,” the doctor finished hopelessly looking away from him and into my eyes. “That is your choice, Konnig. If you will put me down, I have work I must do.” It was a fact that he was being held to the wall, touching the floor by only the smallest tips of his toes. “As you could plainly see if you chose to do so…”



I think it was the tension and fear that suddenly radiated off of the old doctor that made my father turn his eyes to me. Doktor Mia slipped to the floor unnoticed. “Neblig? My Gods, what have they done? Is that really you?” He came closer in disbelief that swiftly turned into horror as he got a good look at me.



I couldn’t move, not even to turn away in shame. I was so tired and the drugs were dragging at me. This was nothing like what I had dreamed. I had been expecting to see him again for so long, but never like this.



My father’s hand shook as he reached out to touch my face. It was warm as it covered my nose, barely touching my eyebrow and cheek. He drew it away with a sharp sound. “What have they done to him? Who would hurt him in such a way?” I watched in shock as his face contorted with first pain and then fury.



Konnig never even glanced back at the doctor still curled up on the floor like he was hurting. He was far too old to be treated so callously. Instead, Konnig placed his hand on my jaw softly, as his own powerful energy washed into me. I shivered under the awe-inspiring crash of it sweeping over my entire body from one small touch of his hand.



The doctor stood up slowly to his feet looking far too pale and shaky. He had been getting worse from the very beginning. Was I the only one who could see how much he ached and winced getting himself up from the floor? Finally, I saw Herr Doktor Mia rebuild his mask just before Konnig turned to him in stunned disbelief.



“This is the reason you have been sneaking around behind my back…You found him like this and you have been trying to save his life without my help,” my father whispered in dread. “Mia, please, tell me you wouldn’t let him die, just because I am a jealous ass…”



“I didn’t know what to do,” the doctor admitted sadly. “I didn’t know how you would react to seeing him again. He is scared.”



“You are scared, pet,” my father sighed sadly.



“Hell, Konnig…The boy himself thought you hated him,” the old gentleman rasped. “I didn’t know…” He covered his face with his hand not wanting to meet Konnig’s accusing eyes. “I was too afraid to tell you,” he admitted brokenly. “I am sorry…”



Konnig let me go and went to him. Their faces were both pinched with emotions neither one would voice. My father broke the quiet with movement. He touched that pale cheek reverently. Did he even see his age, I wondered in awe. Konnig looked at the doctor like he was the most beautiful creature on the planet…and perhaps, to him…he was.



“I would never allow him to be harmed like this. You shame me as a parent, my friend. No matter what else he is, he is my child.” The doctor burst into tears and Konnig let him rest his face upon his chest. “My wife may not claim him as hers any longer, but I would never disown him.” The doctor was brought into the haven of his arms.



My father might not be built as powerfully as Rouleau, but there was a hum of energy surrounding him that was undeniable. Doctor Mia had to have felt that energy wrap around him in the same way I had felt it from one brief touch. The old fellow slid his arms up Konnig’s back to press into him gratefully. My father’s face twisted in a way I had never wanted to see. It was anger, or pain, or sadness this time. It was a far different emotion that made his breath rasp in swiftly. He sighed shakily before drawing back to meet the doctor’s gorgeous, unique eyes thoughtfully.



“I swear that to you. For as long as the boy lives, I will watch over him…I promise,” my father swore. I shivered. Those words felt real. He was not lying just to please his little, human friend. He meant them. He would keep me safe. I had to look away from him. I couldn’t bear to gaze at the love on his face. I couldn’t stand to speculate as to why he had never looked at me in such a way. “As you say…things can change.”



“Things always and must change, Konnig,” Herr Mia sighed sadly.



“Not this,” my father whispered. “No matter what else there is, I will never find another like you. I don’t want to find another like you. Swear that you will never leave me…”



I heard the teasing in his voice. Herr Mia did not think it was amusing. At first, he did not answer him. When the answer came, it was filled with sorrow and pain. “That is not something I can do…unless you want me to lie.”



“Hush, pet,” my father sighed. “I don’t like to hear you talk like that. You are not dying today. You always try to make it sound like it is within the hour,” he stated in frustration. “You have been with me so long now, and from the first day that is all I hear: I will die, I will die, and I will die. Are you trying to make me leave you? Why would you keep saying it to me? I don’t want to hear it!”



“You don’t want to face it,” the doctor stated. “I keep telling you, because I don’t think you will ever believe it until you see it happen with your own eyes. Well, Konnig…I am not as young as I once was! You have to think about it! I don’t want you to be so torn up when it happens that you don’t know how to get beyond it.” There was a brief pause. I didn’t want to know why. I didn’t want to be hearing this conversation. It was still a complete and total shock to me that they loved each other in a way that wasn’t strictly friends. I could feel my face heating as I tried to block out the actual words. My ears were too good. It was impossible for every one of them not to etch itself permanently upon my mind. “Look at you, love…You are just as perfect as the day I met you. I thank the Gods for every moment. I thank them that you don’t seem to see the changes in me, and I curse them for the very same reasons.”



“Silly, pet…The Gods do not like being toyed with in such a way…”



“You are still joking,” the doctor snapped bitterly. “Konnig, I don’t know what to do with you!” I had never heard them argue except the once and this was starting to scare me.



I glanced back to see anger and pain crease my father’s handsome face. “Do you think I don’t know what death is? I may look like a kid of thirty to you, Herr Doktor, but I assure you I have seen more people die than you have ever met in your entire life! Don’t tell me what death is! I think I have a pretty good idea what it means…”



I gasped as Konnig turned and was ripping the IV’s loose from my arms before I realized he had changed his attention to me. It hurt, but I didn’t protest. “I will come home as soon as I can today,” the doctor whispered huskily. I felt a slight tremble in my father’s hand as he paused, holding one tube uncertainly. Konnig nodded firmly without turning and lifted me up into his chest from the gurney. I made a sound I couldn’t repress. It hurt all over to be moved, but I was so sick of this house I didn’t care. “Do you remember how to start the IV?”



“I was a field doctor before your father was born, Mia…I think I can manage it,” Konnig snarled sarcastically. “You talk of age, yet you forget mine…” He shook his head as he carried me out of the room without looking back.



“I forget nothing,” I heard the doctor sigh sadly. “I never will…” I looked back at him and noticed the odd way he was holding his arm to his side so tightly. His hands were shaking, but my body was so weak and in so much pain that I simply held on and didn’t try to speak to him. Father isn’t a large man, but I am very small in comparison. I felt like a child again. It wasn’t a pleasant sensation. I don’t have many memories of Germany, but the ones I do have were rarely pleasant.



We were outside of the house when I felt my father’s shoulders shift and I was being set to my feet cautiously. I felt metal behind me and leaned on it heavily. His arm was all that kept me from sliding to the ground. I met his eyes warily. He didn’t bother to hide his curiosity as he looked me over again. I wish I could have stared him down, but unfortunately my legs caved. I felt myself falling just as he opened the car door and caught me. It almost felt like a hug. I closed my eyes and pretended that he would do such a thing.



It brought the sting of tears once more. This was the man that had traded me away for money and fame. He didn’t care that I was legally his son. As far as he knew, I had no idea that he was not. Shouldn’t he throw the fact in my face if he was going to hate me for it? Shouldn’t he love me if he didn’t? Finding out the truth was not a memory a child would ever forget, but I had never told anyone that I knew I was not his child. In my heart, he would always be my papa. He had raised me; loved me once. I wish it had never changed, but he had betrayed me also. He had sent me to live in hell. Could I forgive him for that if Herr Mia was right? Could I forgive him if things had indeed ‘changed’?



I lay in the back seat of the low-slung sports car quietly. It wasn’t a comfortable fit, but my mind was lingering on Herr Mia…a man I barely remembered anymore. I knew I had once loved him, but those memories were paper thin as if they were almost more dream than reality. I knew where we were going. It would be a long drive. I tried to get comfortable and had to resolve myself to more bruises; it was impossible. Instead, I distracted myself with piecing together the fragments of my shredded mind. The first doctor, the only one I trusted, had said that once a memory was again recollected properly, it would be restored within the undamaged parts of my brain. I relaxed, and thought about it. I caught funny vague flashes, but the more relaxed I grew…the more I thought about it…the more clear it became. The scene was a bad one, but I wanted to commit it to memory better. I closed my eyes against the passing lights of the city and let it wash over me fully.



Hair only slightly lighter than the blood-red, darkened nail polish and matching lips, she was exotic. No one had ever said she was less than gorgeous. Still, her voice was sharp as she spoke to him. “Don’t coddle him so much! He is not a child.”



The young doctor pulled away slightly waking me only a little. I didn’t want to hear her. I was enjoying the felling of being held like a meant something to someone. “He is a child, Rouge…I don’t care who he will become,” he whispered interrupting the tune he had been humming to me. “He is a sweet, little boy with his momma’s beautiful face.” I felt him hug me closer fondly and I sighed cuddling into him. I felt the lightest brush of his hand against my cheek.



“I don’t want you doing that anymore,” she snarled causing me to flinch at her tone. “You pay more attention to him than you do to me!”



The doctor chuckled and looked at her in amusement. He flashed her one of his wicked smiles with his laughing, dual-colored irises. “Ah, Rouge…that wouldn’t take very much, now would it?”



“Put him down, Mia love…” Her voice was stern. It was the voice she used on me just before I got into terrible trouble. I moved to get down, but the doctor held me tighter.



“Someone has to love a child,Rouge,” the doctor protested in reprimand. “Why not me,” he asked softly. “I am not like you and your husband. I am not so old that I do not remember the comfort of a parent’s tender touch.” Herr Mia touched my face looking deeply into my eyes as he often did. I had the feeling that he was always looking for something in particular. Satisfied each time, he must have found it. “He will be a water creature. I wonder sometimes if that is why he has such unusual eyes. Neblig…means fog…He will love water…just like you, Rouge. You will be the one he looks to when he is grown.”



The doctor touched the edge of my eye with the pad of one finger, like he always did, smiling that secretive strange smile he reserved for me alone. I don’t know if it was the look, the action, or just ignoring her warnings that set her off, but suddenly the both of us were thrown backwards as her arm sliced out between us sharply. I felt my arm and part of my face go numb from where she had hit me trying to knock his arms away. Her words came like a lash of waves upon a stormy beach as my perch trembled uncertainly. “He is nothing…like me!” I felt Herr Mia loose his grip on me, gasping in terror that I would be injured, I felt myself fall.



I lay upon the floor like a wounded, pitiful animal. I didn’t want to get up. Her words had hurt me worse than the wooden flooring. I let my head be hidden behind my own dark hair as I felt a trace of tears sting my eyes. Never would I dare to let them fall, but they burned wanting to be released. Then, I felt myself being hauled off of the ground and cried out in fear, only to cradle my aching face into Herr Mia’s chest gratefully. “You will hurt him,” the doctor hissed angrily. “How dare you injure this child? If you are angry with me, then take it out on me. Leave Neil out of our arguments. You dare to risk Konnig’s wrath for vanity?”



Rouge stalked towards him angrily and the young doctor turned his body sideways to protect me should she lash out at him again. Oh, she lashed out…but with her voice. Softly, she spoke. Softly, she made him shudder in revulsion and fear. “Mia, Mia…my Mia…I don’t think we need to pretend when he is not around. You know as well as I do that this boy is not his blood. He will claim him, but only because the boy is mine.”



The doctor swallowed hard, meeting my eyes and then hers warily. “I don’t know what you mean,” he whispered. My eyes widened. I didn’t know what they were discussing, but I could tell a lie when I heard one. Herr Mia was lying.



“I am not the only one in the room who knows you are lying, love. I think you should be very careful what you say,” she warned laughing coldly. “He may not understand it now, but we have excellent memories. One day, he will remember this conversation. What do you want him to remember, Mia?” The doctor’s face pinched with strong emotions.



“Nothing, Rouge…I don’t want him to remember this at all. No kid likes knowing his momma hates him or that she hit him and didn’t care,” Herr Mia stated sadly.



I wasn’t concerned that momma had hit me. I was worried because she had hit at him. Father loved Herr Doktor. They were close friends and rarely apart. Somehow, I didn’t think papa would take momma’s side on this one. I saw a flash of red and flinched back away from the doctor just as her long painted nails slashed open his face. Some of the specks of blood hit me startling me even worse. Herr Mia didn’t look afraid. He blinked his eye several times before having to shut it against dripping blood. It wasn’t deep, but facial wounds bled.



I missed his eye instantly. They fascinated me. It was the green one. There was a dark green outer ring and a gold star-burst on the inside that radiated out like the sun’s rays from the black pupil. Between the two rings was his normal eye color of regular green. The other eye was blue. It was the same, with the two other rings circling what would otherwise be perfectly natural eyes. His lashes were thick, but you couldn’t tell unless you were very close. The light coloration of his hair hid them into his pale flesh.



“Don’t think for one single second that a mother does not see every little detail, Mia. He is my son! I know what he is...and what he is not. He is not Konnig’s child, Mia, because he is yours. Look at his eyes! You love his eyes…as you should. They have run in your family for hundreds of years. Not identical, true, but the same as you…your father…all of them!”



Herr Mia stared at her in horror. “Why are you so angry? You knew I was sleeping in your bed, Rouge,” he whispered trying to hold my ears so I would not hear.



“All of the other ones are adopted, Mia,” she stated softly. “This one…he is mine. What is he is human?” She almost sounded scared. What did she mean?



“Then, he will die, Rouge…just as one day, so will I,” Herr Doktor stated firmly.



“That is not funny, Mia! I will not put up with this! I will not sit here every day wondering.” Mia sighed and looked disgusted with her. “I won’t sit here and watch you look at him with eyes that have never loved me at all,” she promised him darkly.



“Baby, you know Konnig is not going to get rid of me for you,” Herr Mia stated sharply.



“Oh, I have known him ever so much longer. I am sure I can think of something suitable.”



“Why are you doing this to me? I thought you liked me,” the doctor whispered in amazement. I tried to tell him that I liked him by touching his temple the way he did me so often. I loved his eyes. Why would she aim for his eyes?



"I do, love...I think that is that is problem. I like you too much and it is not something you are capable of returning," she sighed sadly. "You see, I feel what Konnig feels. Every inch of the love inside of him is inside of me too. I can't hate you any more than he could, but I do get angry...And Konnig feels my anger as certainly as I feel his love. It is confusing to be two people who feel like one. You love him and yet do not me...It is hurting the both of us. I don't like it. It has to stop somehow. It will. I will make certain of it."



"What are you going to do, Rouge? I do love being with you and him...If I didn't, I wouldn't be here," Herr Mia stated softly.



"I don't think you love me as much as you pretend," she said thoughtfully. The doctor swallowed hard and met my eyes sadly.



"You are the mother of a beautiful child, my lady. How could I not love you for that alone?"



"I am sorry, love...That isn't good enough..."



I woke startled having not realized I had fallen asleep as my father began to carefully pull me up out of the car. He was trying very hard to keep from hurting me, but he noticed my gasp of fright and pain when I woke up not knowing what was happening. He met my eyes and looked puzzled by my reaction. I blinked and looked around trying to focus my eyes properly. It wasn't easy. The day was dark and the streetlights were barely enough to cut through the gloom. Was it foggy out tonight? I couldn't clear my eyes enough to tell. I groaned in weariness as my father slung me over his shoulder and started into the house. The motion was going to make me sick, I decided. Either that, or just being back here was upsetting me more than I knew.



"Why are you bringing me here," I gasped groaning from his bony collar grinding into my too frail frame. His hand came up under me to lift up at my waist. It took off some of the pressure to my abdomen, but the relief almost sent me spinning back into unconsciousness. I had been growing apathetic to my weakness, but being here and being here helpless sounded like a very bad thing.



"Because I don't want my old friend having to lie to me just so he can see to your health. I won't have him hiding things from me...especially if those things turn out to be you, boy." I wanted to see his face. He sounded angry. That wasn't good. I felt of jolt of energy wash over me as his hand moved and touched my bare skin. I sucked in air, but the light-headed dizziness was entirely gone. Had he done that on purpose? Or was it as completely accidental as it had seemed?



"Besides, I am sure your mother will be happy to see you again," Konnig stated with a short, unamused laugh.



"Was that supposed to be funny," I hissed warily.



"Probably not; she does love you..."



"Would that be between saying she hated me and was jealous of me, or sometime after she hit me so hard my face was plastered into the floor?" Konnig paused. Had I opened my mouth one time too many already? I knew better than baiting him in such ways, but I couldn't seem to stop myself when he was pretending everything was jolly in happy ole Vienna. "Are you trying to convince me that she didn't get you to throw me out...or yourself, Father? You always loved me...not her."



"Did I," Herr Konnig asked softly.



The anger that soft whisper caused disturbed me. If he had not been holding me, I would have committed absolute suicide by trying to hit him. "You betrayed me too," I whispered without a sound, but I knew he heard me. "So, why am I here? Are you out of funds? Because I don't think I am worth so much this time around..." I couldn't resist laughing at the idea of him trying to make money off of my ass now. "I seem to be a little broken...like a toy doll no one has a use for anymore."



I didn't realize we were further into the house than one would think. He hardly seemed to be moving and yet we were deep within the huge structure when he set me to my feet. I instantly fell. Thankfully, he had placed a bed under my ass. I didn't look so ungraceful as I sat there, but I turned my head away in shame. I knew how I looked and it was an awful image. Konnig touched the healing scar gently and I closed my eyes to stop the tears. I was glad I looked awful. I didn't want to be sold away again, but how could he when the first bastard he had sold me to was still alive?



"Neil, you are safe here. Rest and all will be well again..." He turned to leave, but a near sob of disbelief from my lips stopped him.



"When was it well," I snarled at his back. "When, because I know you are talking about my life! You bastard...He is still alive and I will have to go back to him...so I really don't care if I live or die thanks to you!" He did not turn around. Damn him, I wanted to see his face, but he wouldn't turn around. "Just get out of here...leave me alone..."



To my shame, he did exactly what I asked.

Todlich Unterwasser Gefahr (Deadly Underwater Danger-Pt. 4)
21:17 Jul 05 2009
Times Read: 871


CHAPTER 2: Betrayals





Rouleau knelt beside Herr Doktor slowly as he took in the pain of the old man’s features. He had entered the room so silently; he probably did not even know he was beside of him. Rouleau reached out to move a stray lock of hair from his forehead. Herr Mia looked up grateful to see him there. “Rouleau, you came back,” the old man whispered softly. “I knew you would…”



“You look hurt, my old friend,” Rouleau observed sadly. “Konnig found out.” Herr Mia nodded looking so tired even that small movement wore him out. “You are too old to be treated like this. What was that fool thinking?” A slight laugh of bitterness met his question. “He accused you of sleeping with me again…”



“You know he did,” the old Doctor sighed. “He took the boy…Rouleau, I didn’t like his face when he took him,” Herr Mia admitted grumpily. “He looked terrified.”



“Herr Konnig, or your boy,” Rouleau asked teasingly knowing the answer already.



Only Herr Mia managed to shock him none-the-less. “My son, Rouleau,” he whispered. “The boy is my son.”



“Konnig knows this,” Rouleau asked looking appalled. “That bastard sent your son…”



“Yes, he did it knowingly. Please, look after the boy for me. I want to trust Konnig, but…”



“You don’t. If he truly did this to you, I can understand why you wouldn’t trust him again. What I did to you was much less damning and you have never forgiven me, have you?”



“Rouleau…”



“No,” the other man whispered softly. “Hush, it is the past. It is over, baby. Nothing will change it now.” Herr Mia looked upset, but he nodded his head agreeing with him. Rouleau’s expression went from teasing and adoring to serious. “Is this what you wanted my help with? You want me to look after Neil for you…because you are dying, aren’t you?” Herr Mia made a sound of pain and tried to move. “Don’t strain yourself, love.”



“I never gave you credit for being so caring. As much as I love that bastard, he is an insensitive prick at times,” the doctor admitted ruefully. “I wish…I wish I had met you years later, Rouleau. You have turned into quite the fine man on me. I bet your little lover enjoys that,” he teased sounded tired and jealous.



“Not really,” Rouleau admitted sourly. “He liked me better when I did not love you…Do you need to go to the hospital, or do you want me to leave you here alone?”



“The hospital…I don’t think I am going to recover from this one,” Herr Mia predicted forebodingly. Rouleau’s expression instantly changed to one he did not wish to see. There were a thousand things left unsaid between them. “You knew I would die someday.”



“I was hoping it wouldn’t be so soon,” his old friend whispered.



“So soon,” the Doctor teased. “Aw, Rouleau…look at me…I am old.”



“I have seen older,” Rouleau teased with a fond grin. “Let’s get you to the hospital so that those great healers you talk about all of the time can try to save your foolish hide again.”



“Rouleau, I am dying,” the Doctor sighed in disgust.



A pained expression crossed his old friend’s face. “I know,” he whispered lifting him easily into his arms and placing a gentle kiss upon his brow. Herr Mia sighed relaxing into him in relief. “Have you considered what I asked of you…so long ago, do you remember it? The offer still stands.”



“No, Rouleau…I would never do such a thing.”



“Mia, if this boy is really your son…and you want me to look after him for you…”



“Don’t try to change the deal! You agreed to it,” the Doctor hissed angrily. “Don’t blackmail me into this!”



“That isn’t what I meant,” Rouleau whispered. “Gods, Mia…do you think me so cruel? I only meant to offer you a way to see the boy. You could watch over him yourself. Get to know the son you never had a chance to raise. Explain things to him, maybe. I can’t do that, Mia. I don’t know what went on between you and Konnig.”



“I can’t sell my soul to you, Rouleau. It is against my religion to do such a thing,” the Doctor stated warily.



“There are different ways to do it, Mia! I could trap it forever, true…This is what I wish to do, but there are other ways to do it. Ways that are not so permanent,” Rouleau offered. “Your soul would still be your own, I swear.”



“I have told you ‘no’. Why do you persist in asking me something I cannot agree to do?”



“Just think about it, love. I will only ask you one more time,” Rouleau warned as he disappeared with him into a darker shadow. Neither noticed Herr Mia’s phone lying on the stone floor of the abandoned room, or that it was now ringing for his attention.



Neil buried his face into his hands, starting to shake and not wanting to see the room he had been disposed of into…I knew it without having to look. I had seen only a brief hint of it in the darkness. I didn’t want to remember. I thought the surgery and the brain injury had taken the darkness of my past away from me, but being in Germany was just idiotic. How could I keep the memories in my damaged brain from returning if I was looking at the very places I didn’t want to see?



I allowed the childish tears to run down my face. I am so tired of crying. I am tired of the pain, and the humiliation of being who I am. I am famous. I am a face anyone would recognize, yet my life is the most miserable place I have ever seen. To look at my old face, you would think I owned the world. To see me now, you would think I had been beaten by it for centuries. I hate looking awful, but it is about time my outside reflected the inner me better. At least now, you would suspect how torn and bitter I truly am. I hate this…I hate this house. I hate this country. I certainly hate being among those I want to love and can never trust.



Eventually, my tears died down. I sniffled into the thick covers and realized I had fallen back onto the bed curling my legs up close to my body at some point. The covers were soaked beneath my face, so I moved it slightly to the side. I felt like shit. Whoever had said ‘tears heal the soul’ had forgotten to mention the crappy side-effects. I was instantly aware that something had changed. The house ‘felt’ different. Perhaps the change is what had begun to bring me out of my pity party, but something was wrong. I lay there without moving as I tried to figure out what it was and knowing it wasn’t likely I would discover it. Things like this used to be easy. I would simply ‘know’. I rubbed the healing scar gently wishing I knew what had changed. There was no answer. I felt as if a part of me had been cut out with the surgery.



I got up weakly. The crying binge had left my body exhausted, worse than usual. My eyes burned from the salt and stress I had just subjected them to. My throat was raw and swollen, and my chest was sore from the jerking sobs. My whole face felt irritated from the salt bath and my eyes felt far worse as I tried to see clearly through them. Sighing in resignation, I drug my feet to the bathroom to wash the salt away, and hopefully reduce some of the swelling of my reddened eyes. My nose needed cleaning out too as it was a mess. I took one look at myself and shook my head in disgust.



There was no sense in acting like a teenager who’d had the car keys taken away to be locked into their room, grounded for sneaking out at night. So he was home…So he had felt betrayed and discarded when his legal father had thrown him out of the house…So what…Get over it and start again. Wasn’t that what Herr Mia had been trying to tell him? None of this was his fault and if he wanted his family back, he could fight for it. The only question that remained unanswered was whether or not he wanted them back. But then, there was also another question…If his agent was still alive, should he simply wait around until the man came looking for him? Or someone took him back? There had to be a way to escape him. Perhaps Herr Konnig was the answer…his father had traded him away. Couldn’t he trade back for him…if he wanted to?



Neil straightened his clothing, threw on a hat left lying from his younger years, and crept out into the hallway. It was as silent as a tomb; nothing like he remembered from his childhood. The halls were darkened and the lighting was muted to the point of not existing. What was going on here? Mother had never liked it too dark and father hadn’t liked the shadows either due to Rouleau popping up in inappropriate places. My feet traced the path along all of my old routes. First, I went to the bedrooms of my adopted siblings. They were my brothers and sisters, all older than I was, and I wondered where they were now. The rooms had cobwebs in the corners.



The house still felt wrong. Why? Neil wandered into his oldest brother’s bedroom with a frown on his face. Where had they gone? He would have been around forty-seven by now. Was he married? Neil touched his face knowing he looked like an eighteen to twenty-year-old. Would any of them remember him…recognize him? There was an old empty frame beside the bed. Neil touched it remembering only vaguely that it had held a photo of his brother holding Neil when he was only four. They had been laughing, but Neil couldn’t remember the picture itself, or his brother’s face in it. Someone came into the room behind him. Neil did not turn his head as he waited for a clue of who it was. It was a female, but it wasn’t a voice he recognized. With his damaged brain; however, that did not entirely mean anything.



“What are you doing in here?” I ducked my head to let the brim of the baseball cap hide my eyes further in the shadows of the darkened room. I tilted my head just slightly to catch a glimpse of her out of the corner of one eye. She had a pale face and dark hair, but I still didn’t know her. Was she a part of my erased memories, or had I never met her before? “Don’t tell me you are another one of Rouleau’s boys,” she stated in disgust. My silence obviously disturbed her. “I have already told him…”



“I am not,” I whispered. Used to people with exceptional hearing, I had whispered very low. She frowned, knowing I had spoken.



“What?” Her puzzled face clearly stated that she hadn’t caught the words as much as the sound. That settled it. I didn’t know her. She was too young to be anyone I knew.



“I do not know this Rouleau…”



“Yeah, right…Everyone knows him,” she mocked insultingly. “What are you? You would have to be an idiot to think I would believe that.”



“I am being serious.” I started to turn to her, but first…I edged my fingers away from the picture frame. She hadn’t noticed my interest in it. “I have heard the name once or twice in the last week or two, but I have no idea who he is…not really.”



“Well, trust me, baby doll…he will know you by now,” she teased coming closer. I didn’t turn around. She was starting to bother me. “He knew your name the second you entered Vienna. This whole province is his territory.” I cocked my head around to look at her slightly and I saw her frown as she caught sight of my face. “You are so weak and pale. Are you sure you aren’t lying to me? Rouleau likes young boys. He doesn’t even care if they are cute, I hear…just new." That seriously sounded like an insult to me. I wasn't even 'cute' anymore? "He is especially fond of playing with his boys.”



I really didn’t like the sound of that. Was I being stalked by someone else that I didn’t even know already simply because I had returned here? I felt her move closer to me. Her words were causing me to tense up. Memories were stirring in my head. I couldn’t help comparing this Rouleau to my agent. They sounded similar. “Are you certain you have not had his hands running all over your body taking from it what he pleases? Are you one of his runaways? He will eat you alive,” she taunted coldly.



My head swam with the images her words brought up in my mind. My chest started hurting. She was causing another one of my stupid attacks with her callousness. I swallowed hard wanting to tell her to stop it, but it was already too late. My eyelids began to twitch and my tense system started turning into locked up muscles. I heard a weak protest leave my lips. Memories I didn’t want to see washed over me. I didn’t need her Rouleau; I had my own nightmares. She reached out to touch me.



As her hand touched my arm, I screamed and felt my body start to slide out of my control. Her nails cut into my skin as I fell to the floor, already jerking in shocking spasms as fire raced along my nerve endings. I saw a sudden flash of movement and light in the darkness. When next I could focus, I was being lifted up into Herr Konnig’s arms to settle back against his chest soothingly. He rocked me and hugged me without a word of question. The girl wasn’t so silent. “Who is he,” she asked snidely not liking that he was cuddled up to me in the least.



I felt father look up at her. Softly, he stated, “He is sick…He is your uncle, Neil.”



I had lost my sight entirely. It was just a flicker of color against my twitching eyelids, but I sensed movement of some type. And then, ecstasy…It was the most pleasant sensation I had ever felt in my life. The energy buzzing through me didn’t do its usual slow dissipation routine at all. Instead, it stopped moving through me for a millisecond before speeding down to my bleeding arm. It was all gone in a nearly orgasmic release of relief and pleasure. To my shame, I felt my jeans tighten swiftly in hard response to it.



A crash of sound moved Herr Konnig away from me before anyone noticed my discomfort. I was still tired, but it felt different this time as the sensations began to fade. I didn’t mind that everyone had left me. It gave me a moment to get myself under control before anyone realized I so turned on I couldn’t move. It was a sharp sting that I had never felt before, but it died down on its own. When I opened my eyes, Father was watching me speculatively. He was hovering over the unmoving female.



I gasped for air, hoping he hadn’t seen anything inappropriate. “Feel better,” he asked. I nodded my answer warily.



“What…” I sucked in a much deeper, steadying breath. “What happened to her?”



“She touched your arm, where the blood is…and an electrical shock slammed her back away from you.” Herr Konnig was looking at the slight dampness of blood on my arm with narrowed eyes. “How did you get that?”



I remembered her nasty comments, her bad attitude, and the scrape of her nails as I fell. “She scratched me,” I growled angrily. True, it had probably been an accident, but she had not been nice before inflicting the slight wound. My eyes narrowed on her, but she appeared to be out cold. I didn’t feel any motion from her.



“You were angry because of her…when you had the seizure,” Herr Konnig asked.



“I was scared,” I whispered. The words were the truth, but I felt ashamed to utter them. I turned away to avoid the mockery of those words. She was a female, small and weak. Even as sick as I am, she was not a significant threat to me. I tried to get up. All I managed was rolling to me side. From this angle, I could see someone else by the doorway. I groaned in humiliation.



Since it was apparent I had seen her, she moved further into the room slowly. She glanced at the girl and asked in a voice that could have been saying ‘the pudding is nice; I wanted soup’, “What happened to her?”



Distracted, Father shrugged and answered, “Your brother electrocuted her.”



Those words widened both of our eyes and we looked back at the other in surprise. Hers lit up with happiness. “Well, well…Hear, hear, I say…It is about time that mouth of hers got her into trouble. I kept telling her she would piss off the wrong person one of these days,” she added with a chuckle. Then, she frowned at me. “What is his name?”



Father was looking down and I started to tell her, but his husky whisper startled me into silence for a moment. “Neblig Konnig…” The second girl blinked in astonishment. She recognized the name. My shock wore off into a frown.



“Neil Marionette,” I rasped just as huskily. “I changed my name. You tied me up like a prize bird and threw me to the wolves.” I saw his shoulder move ever so slightly and it made me mad all over again. “Don’t call me by that name unless you mean to treat me as your son.” I got up shakily to my feet determined to go hide back in my room. I couldn’t stop myself from adding, “instead of the garbage” as I fled.



I heard the girl clear her throat behind me. She was fighting back peals of laughter, but I was certain I didn’t think it was funny. Perhaps Herr Konnig did…Eventually, I heard a giggle escape. I was torturing myself by stopping at my bedroom door, but I wanted to know what she was going to say.



“Wow, he is a lively one,” she mumbled quietly. “For someone so sick, especially,” she added softly. There was a chuckle of sound. I was getting mad again and feeling too ashamed to defend myself when she continued a little more loudly. “I think you should have kept him. Imagine how much fire will be in him when he is well. He is really pissed at you, isn’t he? You poor thing…” I shut out the rest as the door closed. I didn’t want to hear his reply.



“Bitte…erlauben mich zu vorstellen mich selbst…” The soft sound behind my ear usually would have frozen me in fear, but I was past fear into full blown terror. I yanked the door back open and ran into the hallway. A hand grabbed my arm and I glanced back still trying to run as he held me in place without seeming to try hard. I screamed. It was the guy from the forest. It was the snake that had turned into a vampire and bitten me. His laughter echoed down the halls as Herr Konnig raced out to catch sight of us. Father stopped in his tracks when he rounded the door facing and saw the creature.



I was watching Herr Konnig in the desperate hope that he intended to help me. Father’s face twisted in bitterness and anger. The man was real, that thought paralyzed me with fear. I slipped down to the floor to get away from his teeth as the vampire grinned, ignoring me now for the other threat in the hallway. “Rouleau…” I am not sure who said the name. It could have been Father, or the girl he claimed was my sister, but the name made my eyes close. So this was the man looking for a new boy to play with, I thought in disgusted shame. He had obviously found one he liked as he still hadn’t released my arm.



“Now, where did you find such a tasty little treat, mischling,” the vampire asked derisively. I felt my arm pulled and made a pitiful sound of denial as he dragged me to his feet. I met his slick black slacks with my shoulder and couldn’t keep myself from looking up. His skin was as white as snow today. It was a pale contrast to the black outfit and his long, slightly curly hair. The length alone straightened it, but from the look of it if he cut it short it would likely be a tight mass of curls. His eyes were blackened and dilated. “Why is the little fellow so weak? Do you not protect the children in your home? I can feel that one of them lies dead behind you.” My gasp of horror was loud in the closed, dark space. “What have you done today? Has anger driven you mad?”



I met Father’s eyes and he was watching me sadly, yet there was a calculating look in his eyes despite the weariness left stamped there. Why hadn’t I noticed how tired he looked earlier? Why had I fussed at him so coldly? The vampire lifted on my arm and my wide eyes shifted to him. “Please, let me go,” I begged twisting to get free of him, but it was useless. I would be his until he allowed it…or someone decided to take me from him.



The vampire released my arm. I wasn’t expecting it, but it didn’t stop me from running down the hall away from the insanity behind me the second my back hit the wall. I didn’t care who he was. I didn’t care what argument lay between them. I only cared that Herr Konnig had not made a move towards him. I was alone and unsafe…with another man I didn’t want touching me. I ran. I didn’t pay attention to where. I could hear the sound of amused laughter behind me. I could feel the shift in the house. The vampire was hunting someone and I didn’t think it was Herr Konnig. I screamed as shadows moved around me. I bolted in terror to the side away from them. The laughter echoed around me. Stupid, Neil…go where he is leading you, I thought to myself as I tried to duck through the shadows the second time to go where he was frightening me away from. The laughing stopped as I felt arms tighten to grasp and throw me the way he had wanted me to go to begin with. I was trapped. I would keep running until he had me exactly where he wanted.



I stopped moving to look around me thoughtfully. The vampire materialized out of the shadows to frown at me. I wasn’t playing his game the way he had expected. It bothered him. I met those dark eyes defiantly. “Mutig…es gefallt mir,” he taunted with a grin.



“I don’t speak German, so if you want to frighten me…”



“I will have to speak what you do to get the point across,” he finished lazily. “I see…” His eyes traced down my shirt noticing my scrawny physic. “I don’t think I need to frighten you, boy. Just the opposite, in fact, I am surprised you have any intelligence left in you. You feel so afraid of me; I am thinking you are going to die of fear.”



“I may be terrified,” I hissed, “but I am sick of being manhandled by assholes! Leave me alone!” I saw his lips twitch fighting a smile. “Why doesn’t anyone care what I think?”



“You are not old enough,” Rouleau stated with a shake of his head. “Did no one teach you the ways of our kind? Even if you were nine hundred years of age, you would be treated as a person with no opinion,” he paused to take in my snort of derisive disgust, “by the elders. It is our way. You do what we want.”



“Perhaps,” I stated coldly, “but are you sure that is really the way you want me?” The vampire chuckled. I lost some of my nerve. I remembered Herr Mia talking of how Rouleau had possessed him, rather than loved him, and I backed away from him nervously. Herr Mia had liked pain and he had run from Rouleau. That was not good.



The vampire moved closer. I backed away a second time. My fear amused him as much as my courage had earlier. I turned and ran again, but this time I fled towards Herr Konnig. Rouleau did not like that. He leapt to the side to cut me off before I had even moved four feet. I yanked on my arm desperately, quickly realizing that it was useless. “Why are you doing this?” Rouleau grinned slinging me back in the direction he had been herding me. “Where do you want me?” I looked down the darkened hall and searched my brain for where it led. “I can’t…”



The vampire moved up behind me. I turned to face him defiantly. “So brave…to be so small and sickly,” he drawled lazily. I tried to dart past him again, only this time his arms laced around my waist. I fought him as I was pulled casually into his chest. “You smell so nice,” Rouleau teased, “like a perfectly cooked steak.” He leaned down inhaling against the side of my throat. My breathing sped up expecting the feel of his teeth breaking my skin once more. I held utterly still. I relaxed my body into a meditative stance that I used often when on a long photo shoot that I didn’t like. Instantly, my breathing and pulse calmed.



“If you are not going to bite me…why are you trying to scare me?”



“Are you scared,” Rouleau asked curiously. “I honestly cannot tell. You started out so terrified, but then you changed. There is still a part of your mind trying to figure out a way to sabotage my plans. I think I had you for only a second when you darted the wrong way, but the instant you did it…I lost you.” He sounded both confused and amused. “Even now, I can see you planning your next move. You are not afraid of me being a vampire…No, you are only afraid because I am a man.”



A shiver raced up my spine. I raised one hand to his arm. I didn’t try to pull it away; there wasn’t any point proving again how weak I was. His arm was solid steel beneath my palm. Sighing, I laid my head on his shoulder going further into my relaxed trance. There wasn’t much I could do at this point. The next move would be his alone. “Why are you so afraid of males?” Rouleau moved his face against my cheek intimately. Thousands of men had done that before. It didn’t bother me in the least. It didn’t mean anything. It was only skin…like touching his arm. I felt his nose trail along the edge of my ear before his lips pressed into the sensitive skin behind it. “Some things do not bother you, I see. Yet others…”



Rouleau tightened his arms and I tensed. I did not like the idea of being trapped, but they relaxed quickly and slowly my body followed suit. His linked hands parted as one traveled up my spine beneath the shirt. The other trailed low to play at the waistband of my jeans as if he was toying with the idea of sending it down over my rump. Many of the more forward male models had done that too…often. I held myself still just in case he did too. I had been trained by now not to react. When a camera was clicking or shooting video, I was not allowed any form of protest. Only there was no camera. This time it was a powerful, huge vampire intent on causing trouble. “You are too thin…”



“Then, throw me back and wait for me to fatten up properly,” I suggested hopefully. A lazy chuckle of laughter wound around us. I moved my head slightly to look up at him. He was taller than I. He was gorgeous enough to play the role of a hot model for real, but his eyes and teeth were far too inhuman. He was huge and strong, making me feel like a young boy. He probably considered me one as well. I wasn’t what he was expecting. I was not dumb, or easy to panic. Yet I knew there were things that would stretch the sanity in me to a breaking point. I felt his hand creep up my back to my neck, raising the shirt with his elbow. “You do not want to see me naked; it isn’t pretty, I promise…”



“Where is your hair? It is so odd to see one of our kind with a human-style haircut,” he mumbled. I felt him move to knock the hat away. Instantly, I twisted free of him and held it on. He allowed it by letting me go when I began to move. I ran down the black hallway. There was no point in avoiding it. I would end up wherever he wanted me eventually. If Herr Konnig had intended to rescue me, he would have shown up by now. I was alone. Stumbling, I had to extend my arms to the walls to follow it. The gloom was so complete it threw off my balance.



I lost track of the walls and knew the hall had widened out into a room of some type. A hand on my back began to guide me, without sight. Had I known what the room was used for, I wouldn’t have gone so freely. Rouleau moved around my side in the total darkness. I felt his hand move from my back to my elbow and down to my wrist. It was suddenly an unbreakable vice that yanked me off my balance. I fell forward and caught myself with my other hand on…the softness of a bed. My wrist was locked into an iron shackle. I pulled on it like a complete idiot refusing to believe what had just happened.



“You bastard,” I hissed angrily fighting the chain and chaffing my skin on the iron. “Complete and total bastard,” I screamed. I lashed out at where he had been, but there was nothing there. “Coward, can’t you keep someone without chains?” I felt a heavy body crowd me closer to the bed and wall as arms trapped me. My other hand went up and snapped into a second manacle even as I struggled to hit him. I was wearing myself out pointlessly. I was sickly and he was a vampire…a muscle bound jerk, but a vampire. He left again. I slid to the floor beside the bed refusing to get up on it for comfort. “Coward,” I hissed again knowing he could still hear it.



“Not you,” Rouleau chuckled. “You are a pig-headed little thing. Eventually, you will like me.”



“That is not going to happen. I can’t stand assholes!” The darkness laughed at me. Then, the room became still and I knew he had left me alone in the dark. “You could have turned on the light!” There was no answer. I sighed heavily. “Just another day in the life of a marionette,” I growled in frustration.



I laid my head upon my arms and got as comfortable as I could. ‘I am still somewhere in my father’s house’, I thought to myself, even though it had rarely been a safe place. I took comfort in that knowledge mostly because a part of my soul kept thinking, ‘I am home’. Unfortunately, the hopeful piece of me didn’t last more than a few hours. The darkness was putting me to sleep and I could feel bad dreams lurking just below the surface. I held it off by staying awake and thinking of the last few weeks.



I only realized I was asleep when the sickening roll of drug-induced nausea began to make me want to vomit. I remembered being naked, drugged and wrapped in gorgeous men, so sick that I couldn’t stand to breathe. Were the cameras still flashing? Were we filming today, instead? I could hear my agent’s insidious voice moving around the room mumbling instructions to everyone. He was never very far away. I knew as long as he was talking to the crew, I was not allowed to move in protest of anything. I was barely conscious, so that shouldn’t have been a problem. Unfortunately, even numbed by the excessive morphine and cocaine/heroin, I could feel one of the models in the bed get far too fresh as his fingers pushed into me unasked.



The one kissing down my stomach must have been hiding his actions. Usually, my agent got very angry with things like that…but not always. I saw a flash of bright, yellow-white and jerked on the chains. It would get his attention faster than anything else. He always noticed when I was being a nuisance. The muttering stopped as he started to watch me. The models were watching him in quick, uneasy spurts. My stomach lurched in denial. Surely not…not again…it was too early in the day, wasn't it? How long had I been on the bed?



I moaned pushing at the hands trailing around me unsuccessfully. Hard to do that effectively with your hands chained over your head. I felt someone moving me in a way completely at odds with the dream. It confused me momentarily, but I slipped back into the dream even further afterward. I was now lying down both in the memory and in reality. The cramps in my back began to ease; the circulation in my legs making them a little less numb, tingling slightly. I was still thrown a touch off balance as I drifted from one set of hands to three…and back again until they blended and seemed to be four. Only one of those people was being polite about where he touched. It made the dream feel less real as I knew that had never happened in real life. The sickness of the drugs wavered in and out threatening to make me sicker than usual. I could hear the sound of my agent’s voice again and pushed out with my bound arms. It barely made a wave in the sea of male flesh I was swimming in. Someone was biting an ear, another one my lower stomach; someone was running their palms along the sides of my back, and the fourth was still violating me relentlessly and getting worse. He did not seem worried that he could be caught at it. Then, I heard salvation…



My agent’s sharp voice sliced through the drugged blur of sounds clearly. No one stopped what they were doing, but a second sharp sting came as he slapped away the fingers trying to rip me apart. “He is mine,” I heard hissed behind me furiously. “I told you that…” I moaned trying now to get away from the stomach biter who was rubbing his face in my shaved groin. My agent didn’t protest much. By the time the models left me lying here alone, I would be exhausted, frustrated, and mentally numbed. Then, my agent would crawl into the bed…That was sheer hell. He would continue where they left off. I would protest, but as my strength waned…I only protested the major things. He was wearing me down, year after year, getting more with less protesting. That didn’t mean I was allowing it. I just no longer had the energy or the emotion to spare. My useless fighting was the equivalent of lifting a semi-truck off of my chest. I faded back away in my mind from the models. It would take hours, but their relentless seduction would eventually start to affect me. After that, I wouldn’t be able to ignore anything until sunrise.



It felt like an eternity before I awoke. Someone was holding me, but not the way I was used to being held after a night of sadistic torture. Usually, my agent was half sprawled out over the top of my back pressing my stomach down into the bed. This was far more pleasant. I was the one sprawled over someone. A large male was breathing under my arm as I lay half on him and half on the bed. He was facing up and me down, cuddling me like I was his favorite teddy bear. I drew in a slow, deep breath, and he moved…like a gentle, sleepy hug. It was so strange. He smelled nice, not of stale smoke and secreted drugs and liquor. Otherwise, it felt like my agent…all muscles and man, tall…built solid, hair tangling beneath my face and chest. I felt a deep sigh escape him as he woke up. Then, a rumble of pleased contentment escaped him.



“Gods, do you always sleep with a hard on, because it is…very…distracting,” Rouleau drawled teasingly. I started to jerk away, but his thick arms were already squeezing slightly. Seconds before his teeth pierced my throat, my body locked up in a seizure. Those arms tightened…again and again as he drank the blood flowing into his mouth. That wave of orgasmic pleasure sizzled through me. I realized the pain was so much less this time. It was because the energy was leaving through my blood. The vampire was being electrocuted as he fed. It didn’t disturb him. I felt my groin tighten and hurt, throbbing for release. Rouleau moved his hard thigh up against the painful ache and I gasped. His teeth left my neck.



Instantly, everything began to fade. Like a balloon released, all of the feelings and swelling just vanished. I hung my head in forlorn, discontented frustration, disgusted that I could keep being turned on when that was always the result. Rouleau frowned at me when I opened my eyes. “I guess I shouldn’t have stopped,” he mumbled leaning down to kiss my cheek. There was a smear of blood on his lips. He whispered along my jaw, “I am sorry.” The blood was probably all over my face now. “There were so many more pleasant things I could think of that spilling all of that…into your clothing,” he murmured with a sleepy sigh. I shuddered in revulsion trying to look calm despite my body beginning to go into panic mode at the intimacy between us.



The door saved me. It opened and Rouleau slipped away to the side getting out from beneath me swiftly as if he had been caught doing something he shouldn’t have done. It confused me too. I didn’t recognize the room. I didn’t recognize the paneling of the hallway wall either. None of this would be in Herr Konnig’s house; it wasn’t his style. A young male voice called his name in question. It sounded like his face looked when I rolled over further to see him, disappointed and just as confused as I was. The boy looked eighteen, but that didn’t mean he was that young. He had a head full of golden-yellow curls that fell around him like he was an angel. “You have eaten,” the boy stated grumpily as the vampire rolled out of bed to the floor. “I don’t guess you are still hungry.”



I moved to sit up so I could see the both of them. Rouleau was intent on reaching him before he could turn around and escape. The boy was already backing out when the vampire’s hand stopped the door. Rouleau wrapped the boy in his arms picking him up and thumping his back into the hallway wall as he began kissing him. The boy grinned just before their lips met. I heard a definite laugh as Rouleau began pushing the boy’s clothing off of him. By the time I thought to turn away, the boy’s legs were eagerly wrapping around Rouleau and I heard him whisper huskily, “Perhaps you are…”



“Starving,” Rouleau laughed as another thumb followed a gasping cry. My stomach churned in revulsion. I was grateful when the door magically thumbed closed and drown them out. Unfortunately, my stomach still rebelled. I looked around swiftly at the room wanting to go to the bathroom. When I looked at my wrists, I realized the chains were not snapped into the iron rings. So, I got up. I didn’t remember the bathroom either.



I ran water over my hands; they were shaking. I dipped my face into it and rubbed, hating the sight of it in the mirror when I looked up. My shirt was off emphasizing the ribs and breastbone sticking out of my thin skin. My hat was gone and the scar glared at me obscenely. I couldn’t imagine why he would have even considered fucking me looking like this. I was certain he would have changed his mind if I hadn’t ruined the moment for him. I touched the black stain that was just barely visible in these high-riding jeans. It rose to about an inch under my navel, concealing the tattoo. My jeans rarely concealed it entirely. It was my agent’s mark. He had put it there when I was sold to him, saying I would always belong to him no matter where I was.



Tired, I stripped and went to take a shower while the vampire was busy. I scrubbed half of my skin clean before I had to rest. I slipped down into the tub letting the water nearly drown me as I put my head on my knees and closed my eyes. I was learning the hard way to take my time doing things I had once taken for granted. It didn’t take much exertion before the room swayed and I lost my breath as it began to swim around me. It was a choice. I could sit down, or fall down. I had gotten extremely bruised by being stubborn. I was learning my limits.Purposely, I sucked in deep, even breaths to steady myself.



I knew better than protest when someone grabs me unexpectedly, but the idea of being seen naked and looking as I did now was too embarrassing to not try. Rouleau picked me up without effort until I was standing in the shower once more. I had been avoiding looking into all of the reflective chrome, but it horrified me to think of what he was seeing. I watched his face shift in displeasure and curiosity as he studied me in them. I wanted to run and hide from that look in his eyes. I tried to run, but he kept me cradled to his chest. My breathing hitched and I acted like a grumpy child instead of a mortified male. “I was doing fine by myself, thank you,” I hissed angrily. He looked up from my body and met my eyes in the chrome. He looked shell-shocked and I protested weakly wanting to get away so bad.



“Great Gods, boy,” Rouleau whispered. “What did he do to you?”



I touched my head where the healing scar seemed to glare at me like red flag. “Don’t look at me; I am hideous.” I tried again to twist away, but he held on despite the fact that it would hurt me if he did. I cried out sharply and held still. My arm stung.



“You are not,” Rouleau disagreed testily. “When your hair grows back, it will hide that mark on your head. Food, rest and time will heal the other things if you let it." I looked skeletal and he clearly didn't like it. "We will get some meat on your…bones…strength in your flesh. I am sure you will look fine, when you are well.”



A terrible thought occurred to me. “Haven’t you seen me before?”



Rouleau was playing his hands over the black markings with a thoughtfully bemused look on his face. He glanced up at my question. “I have no idea what you will look like,” he admitted guilelessly. “Other than seeing you outside of my property and finding you at Konnig’s…I only know that Mia wants you kept safe. I have interests in you myself, of course, but they do not include your past.”



I didn’t like that last comment. I didn’t like that he had never seen me before and was still attracted to me. What would he do when he found out who I was? What I looked like? “Herr Doktor will be worried when he cannot find me,” I whispered hoping to reason with him.



“Mia is the one who asked me to look after you,” Rouleau chuckled. “He didn’t think you and Konnig would be a good match...I daresay after the way he treated you last time, my poor little Mia did not trust him to look after you a second time. The one thing he has never learned is how to forgive a mistake made in anger or jealousy.” There was a smile on his face, but it was a bitter, sad one. “I am afraid you are stuck with me now. Once I make a promise to someone I have or still care for, I keep it.”



I knew there were many things he was not telling me. It was in the look on his face. The speculation and wariness in his eyes, the tell-tale hardening of his jaw, and the weary sigh in his chest. There was regret, reluctance and curiosity mingled with anger and eagerness. Everyone had a story. Males of my kind had very long, complicated ones. I am betting Rouleau had a longer history than anyone I had ever met before.



“How long are you stuck with me,” I asked in a slow, thoughtful tone. “Is there anyone you are scared of here?”



Rouleau scowled and his eyes narrowed down on the images in the chrome. “Very few people can rival my power around here. There are some. If one of them did that to you…”



“Are you more, less or the same as Konnig?”



Rouleau stared at the reflection of my face for a long while. “It would be one hell of a fight. I have no clue if either of us would honestly win it. Why are you asking?”



“Konnig,” I whispered wondering if I should air such details to people I barely knew. “I think he might be equal or less powerful than…” I stopped. I stopped because I did not like the look of pure hatred and anger that washed over his face.



“That narrows the list down to less than a half of a dozen people,” he stated softly.



“Friends of yours,” I couldn’t help asking sarcastically. Usually, the answer was a ‘yes’. Rouleau looked at me again. Once more it was thoughtful and speculative.



“Not a lot of them…no, but I know them.”



It took me a while to mull over what he had said. By the time I was ready to discuss it again, I was too tired to even try. I barely remember getting out of the shower. Rouleau probably did more of it than he should have before helping me back to the bed. Once there, I began to recover fast, but the standing was a swift drain on my energy that I couldn't take for long lengths of time. My eyes were closed and the vampire probably assumed that I had passed out or had been drug down into an involuntary, healing sleep. I breathed deeply to put air into my throbbing brain, but he was sighing as he stood over me. Then, it sounded like he left, so I drifted off comfortably into restless, fitful dreams.



Time passed swiftly, but Neil was growing more and more obstinate, growing grouchy as the days passed. Every little thing seemed to remind him of his days in America. Every reminder seemed to be a warning that his agent was still alive…recovering…and would soon begin to look for him. Neil couldn’t stand to be near the vampire in particular and he couldn’t say why. The reasons were tiny, but there were so many of them. His very presence had gotten to the point of irritation so high that Neil’s teeth began to ache when he entered the room.



“Look,” Neil finally snapped in exasperation, “don’t take this wrong, but I seriously need some space!”

Rouleau blinked. The room was utterly silent. The servant nearby, who had been listening to him speak, quickly retreated. “I beg your pardon,” the vampire asked softly. “Have I done something wrong?” Neil almost laughed, but his anxiety was bordering more along hysteria than amusement.



“Wrong,” Neil whispered. “I don’t even have an idea of where to start explaining the answer.”

“Start with whatever you think of first,” Rouleau replied calmly, but there was a hard look in his brown eyes. “You can work your way around to all of it later.” Neil shook his head, not wanting to explain his anxiety or his reasoning to anyone. “Neil, I have been so very patient all week…”



“Week,” Neil growled in frustration. “Why does it feel like I have been here for a month?”



“Probably because your sleeping habits are all messed up,” the vampire suggested politely. “Now, tell me…What part of me drives you so crazy that you hate me?”



“Nothing,” Neil rushed out appalled he would think such a thing. “Gods, you have been so nice to me! I am not used to being treated so well. Please, do not think I hate you! It is not true…”



The vampire’s eyes did not soften, but they did shift ever so slightly. “If you don’t, please explain to me. Why do you tense up every time I come near you? You grit your teeth and try very hard to pretend I do not exist.”



Neil groaned. “I am trying…Gods, do I really act that awful? I am so sorry! I just can’t take this!” Neil got up from the chair pausing when he noticed Rouleau move subtly closer to catch him should he start to fall. “I have no idea why you are being so nice to me,” Neil whispered suddenly feeling terrible for being so unappreciative of his kindness. Rouleau’s eyes began to soften up into that dark chocolate shade of his. It was almost black. It only happened when he was happy, or amused by something. “I feel like a bad-tempered puppy you are trying to tame,” Neil muttered in frustration.



The vampire looked startled. Then, he began to smile with a slightly teasing lift of his lips. “Well, I once had a young pet…from a very abusive home…Trying to get him to like me was a bit similar, I have to admit. Only he did not look disgusted every time I twitched…just wary.”

“I am sorry,” Neil moaned. “I don’t know what is wrong with me! You pick up a cup and it just…I can’t stop thinking…it is the very same way…” Neil started pacing restlessly stopping the sentence cold. “You are perfect. You are nice, polite…elegant even,” he muttered glancing at Rouleau’s frown that turned up in a touch of a curious smile at his last addition. Neil looked away uncomfortably. “I don’t mean to insult you. I can’t explain it any other way, though.”