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I am sick in my heart this week. It is the anniversary of my mates death. He has been dead for four years. I miss him greatly. It was also the birthday of the man who once told me he never felt more loved by anyone in his life and then assaulted me and lied in court. I am highly depressed and feeling completely lethargic and sad! I just don't understand how I could have been so blind seems everyone around me saw him for the user he turned out to be and also a thief. I feel weak within my soul for even having him in my head still! Why can't I get him out of my head! He had many good qualities and I wish him an abundance of love and happiness. I truly wish things were different. He was just not in sync with me and my needs. I was just too easily pushed around as my love for him was immense. Now I just have sadness for what shall never be!