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Okay, have you ever had a nightmare where there is a global catastrophe? It could be Nuclear or chemical, Asteroids or Alien invasion, Global warming, weather whatever. A mass extinction, THE Apocalypse?



I was talking to a few friends online and they told me that indeed they have had this sort of dream, each time it was in different circumstances and they went about things in different ways.



For example, one of the many dreams i had involved a nuclear bombing, with a preceding fallout of the dust etc; I had this feeling of helplessness, where are my family how am i going to protect them. In the end i hot wired a car drove to my fathers house grabbed the kids told them to keep a piece of cloth over their mouth went to a factory and got respirators, started picking up people i knew from the streets and at their houses, ended up going to this hotel which was empty and used it as a fort all my friends and family there plus people i didn't even know.

We went out for food weapons and first aid kits, i kind of took charge of the situation, like i'd already had a game plan, i'll leave it there.

What i want to know is have you had this sort of dream? Had the feeling of helplessness and fear? How did it happen what event caused the destruction? Did you follow or lead or give in?

And how do you think this reflects on who you are as a person?

She knew what she had to do as she put the knife to her chest she pulled it gently downwards and felt the blood trying to out race the blade. She pulled back and watched her reflection in the mirror, as the blood spilt down her chest and off her breast. She heard the first droplet hit the cold tile floor, abrasive white, now marred by the red stain, a work of art in its own right she thought as she gazed in wonder at what she had created, and as she perused the crimson pool now forming at her feet, she came to realise death, its essence, its being. She was likened to death in that fleeting moment, gazing down with clinical detachment at what once was alive, watching the energy slowly ebb away. And as she looked, she realised that it was herself on that cold floor, a part of her being. Not death, but dying. Bit by bit, drop by drop. Fear and a sense of pleasure came to her both at once, a mingling of sensations, she could feel both moving to cover her entire body, from the roots of her black hair to the very tips of her toes, everywhere all at once, threatening to engulf her very existence. She closed her eyes slowly savouring the momentary electricity that these emotions brought forward in her, and again opening, she looked now, not at the death at her feet but at her reflection her gaze lowered to survey the wound, a deep scratch at best, she said to herself. She knew what had to be done.

It needs to be bigger.



Still clenching the knife in her hand, she brought it up once more to kiss her chest, she hesistated, trying with all her might not to look up, not to look into those eyes, afraid of what she might see there, afraid it might break her. She hesistated no more. She plunged the knife straight inside of her, until she felt it scrape against bone, She tried not to scream, she didn't try hard enough. The sound pierced her ears as it sent echoes throughout the room, She heard her pain as she clenched so tightly on the wet knife handle still inside her beating chest. There will be blood, too much blood she thought. That feeling came back to her fear and pleasure a couplet to her demise. No time to indulge scolded herself. She knew what she had to do.



She brought her other hand to rest upon its twin, she would need strength for this task. She took a deep breath steadying herself, and she felt that familiar metallic taste in the back of her mouth. DO IT!

She ripped the knife straight down her chest with such violence and ferocity, she heard the sound again, seeming so distant now, her pain trying to break free, to stop her completing what ahd to be done. She removed the blade quickly, torrents of blood came gushing from the gaping black hole on her chest. Blood splattered on the mirror, blood splattered on the damn white tiles on the walls and floor. Its not over yet.She dropped the knife in the sink infront of her. She watched as her hand moved up towards the door of her being, Lingering just a bit too long at her breast, she grazed the nipple with her blood drenched hand. Fear. Pleasure. No time to indulge. Its nearly complete. She moved her hand to the entrance, pausing briefly to wane her solace. She entered. Fingertips, knuckles, palm. She reached for the nearest one, wrapping her delicate fingers around it, her free hand moved to grasp the edge of the sink, as much for leverage than courage. DO IT.



She snapped her hand forward out of the wound, extracting with it the offensive object. Gracing her sight now, a rib bone, throned in the bloody grip of her hand. She noted, with curiosity, the sound did not replay itself. Instead she was greeted by an irrevocably sad silence. She dropped it in the sink, to finally rest beside the blade. "Almost done" she whispered in a voice that was not her own. Estranged somehow. She once again reached for the wound, and upon entering felt a wave of satisfaction as she repeated "Almost done."A cursive smile played on her full blood drenched lips. She reached yet again inside, through the space she had made for herself, looking searching, longing for what she needed.

She played deeper touching lungs and tubes, veins and a whole plethora of assorted slippery articles. Then she touched it. A shock coarsed through her arm, her eyes widened in avid anticipation, the fruits of her labour were now within her grasp.



She pushed forward still, encasing the pulsing muscle with her hand so lightly, feeling the rhythm escalate along with her excitement. The couplet came back to tease her, as she closed her eyes one last time, and with the smile still moulding her porcelain features tore from her body, her still beating heart. Her eyes shot open, her jaw dropped. She looked down into her hand and saw heap of bloody beating flesh, and without thoughts to provoke her, she looked into the mirror. Into her eyes. Green pools of beauty slowly growing dim. The last image of her life scarring itself upon her soul, as the last beat of her heart pulsed upon her hand. Blackness.



5:16AM



Chapter 1 possibly coming maybe soon...

Read the prologue to this story Here