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omg.. I think I am going sane. being held captive in your own house because of snow outside does things to you... O_o its getting to the point where I cant take it anymore! I want to go back to school so I can see my friends! lol wheeee!!!! ahhhhh!!!!

my real dad called me today out of the blue and told me off. I didnt even do anything! he said that I had an attitude with him but I didnt. he said that I need to respect him. he may be my father but he has no control over me! he has never been there for me! he hasnt ever helped my family. he hasnt ever helped me. he deserves NO respect.

my mom and stepdad were fighting today. again. about me. steve is mad because I cant ride my horses anymore. the reason that I cant is because both of my knees and my back are messed up. steve is mad at my mom because my mom isnt trying to sell my horses. the last time we sold this one horse because she was a little demon, steve got mad at both of us even though that horse would bite me, throw me off all the time, and try to kick me. thats all my mother and steve do now.... they're always fighting. about money. me. my brothers. me. work. me. moving. me. traveling. me. it just gets old. recently its been making me cry myself to sleep but its ok. thats nothing new. I cry myself to sleep almost every night. well I guess I will be going pretty soon to cry myself to sleep again. good night.

1. I want to learn how to get out of a straight jacket.

3. I love Jeff *my best friend*more than life itself.

4. my fave movie is Nightmare Before Christmas

5. my fave holiday is Halloween aka Samhain

6. I cant stand my life

7. nobody really knows me

9. I like to eat alligator

10. I always come close to tears when I listen to Welcome to My Life

oh damn. thats only 8

hello! today is so boring! my hands hurt from making tamales. lol my little brother keeps calling my stepdad "Shrek".... interesting. la la la la. bored bored bored. today has been a hellacious day. made tamales. wrapped presents. helped clean house. my back hurts. LOL hmm.. been hiding in my room most of this break. waiting for real dad to call so I can hang up on him. LOL I hate him. hmmm... so bored. waiting for tomorrow so then I can seriously hibernate in my room. my mom and stepdad keep coming into my room to make sure that I'm ok. its driving me crazy! sometimes I wish that they would just ignore me. I know that they mean well but cant I listen to Evanescence in all of its glory without being checked on every 10 minutes? yes I am ok! now get out! LOL

I feel like leaving. finals are tomorrow and I am going to fail them. my close friend wants to run away and was crying in 6th. another close friend started cutting. another close friend tried cutting but couldnt handle the pain. my stepdad is always yelling at me. my mom is always stressed out over me, my brothers, my stepdad, my dad, money, work, and school. my little brother is still sick. my dad will probably call soon to guilt me into visiting him this christmas... I'm so scared because he hurts me... I've got so much shit to do before thursday. I have to clean the house by myself, care for Tyler, work outside, ect. I feel like there's nothing else to do but get my clothes and pack. I swear I'm about to run away and never come back. I hope that tomorrow will be so much better... I think I'm going to get off in a bit and then cry myself to sleep.. nighty nights.

She was only five

This is what happened

When she was alive...





Her dad was a drunk

Her mom was an addict

Her parents kept her

Locked in an attic





Her only friend

was a little toy bear

It was old and worn out

And had patches of hair





She always talked to it

When no one's around

She lays there and hugs it

Not a peep of sound





Until her parents

unlock the door

Some more and more pain

She'll have to endore





A bruise on her leg

A scar on her face

Why would she be

In such a horrible place?





But she grabs her bear

And softly crys

She loves her parents

But they want her to die





She sits in the corner

Quiet but thinking,

"Please God, why is

My life always sinking? "





Such a bad life

For a sad little kid

She'd get beaten and beaten

For anything she did





Then one night

Her mom came home high

And the poor child was beaten

As hours went by





Then her mom suddenly

Grabbed for a blade

It was sharp and pointy

One that she made





She thrusted the blade

Right in her chest,

"You deserve to die

You worthless pest!"





The mom walked out

Leaving the girl slowly dieing

She grabbed her bear

And again started crying





Police showed up

At the small little house

Then quickly barged in

Everything quiet as a mouse





One officer slowly

Opened a door

To find the little girl

Lieing on the floor





It must have been bad

To go through so much harm

But at least she died

With her best friend in her arms









A child dies every day from child abuse. And if you have an ounce of pity in you for little Auroura and you hate child abuse with a passion you will repost this and help out those abused children and let them know that someone cared for them. It doesn't take that long only about 10 seconds so please just do it

I am so sick of my life. sometimes I sit in the dark thinking of how great it would be if I were dead. I'm so sick of my stepdad, my dad, my grandparents, the drama at school, the shit at home, ect. its a wonder that I havent been put in couseling again. sometimes when I lie down at night, I hope that just maybe I wont wake up in the morning. people just dont understand when I say I want to be alone, I mean it. I've been fighting with my stepdad and my mom so much its unreal. I'm so worried about my baby brother tyler because he is so sick right now. my family is having a lot of problems right now but I cant do shit about it. Steve my stepdad is always yelling at me.. thats all he does when he comes home from work every Thursday. its pretty pitiful when you would rather be outside in the rain than in your own house. As soon as I get home, I do my chores very quickly and then I hide away in my room so maybe, just maybe he wont find something to yell at me about. Steve and I are always yelling at eachother. he yells at my little brothers and then I yell at him for threatening to hit them. he cant do shit to them or else my mom will leave. then he gets up in my face and threatens me too. the interesting thing is that he only yells at me when my mom is gone or asleep. I hate this life...