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Ok for years now I have never had much of a relationship with my family. But I came home for a few weeks and ended up staying with my mother. The whole time I was thinking it was going to be a disaster but I was proven way wrong. It was by far the best couple of weeks that I have had in along time. Well now it's time to leave agian and I finding that I'm alil upset. I would have never thought in a million years that I would ever be sad about leaving my moms house, but as they say never say never...But I have really got to get myself n check bc I'm pushing everyone away bc I'm hurting. I've never handled goodbyes or any of the other mushy stuff to well. but i'm thinking it might be time to learn. Or else i'm going to continue to push everyone away and make them think that its there fault when its me being stuburn and not wanting to take a helping hand. One more thing to put on my check list of faults i guess. owell thats life i suppose.

(I'm sitting there waiting for someone to come, not knowing really who it is i'm waiting for, when she comes out of the shadows, I know right away what i'm suppose to do, just not yet knowing how to go about it. Then she whispers, the anwser is in ur heart u just have to open it to find the purpose of it)....Then I woke up? What is this suppose to mean? I spent all night tossing and turning trying to figure out the meaning of this dream...What am I suppose to do, where am I suppose to start? I've never been a fan of riddles n the past few nights I have been given 2 many of them...and the funny thing is, is i'm feeling like i'm running out of time: The dreams are almost like i'm living another life in my sleep. and there so vivid that i get the feeling i am being told something, but I have no clue what to make of them? Maybe the anwser will come soon enough...or i hope so anyways....

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Become
00:51 Dec 21 2009

well spoken.

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Over the past few weeks I have had some life changing experiences...Some for the better and some for the worst...But as they say everything happens for a reason and we may not know why at the time but when we look back we will c the real reasons...(or so I've been told alot lately)...But I have to say it has really opened my eyes to what matters in life and what really doesn't. I had my priorities way out of line and got sucked in to the I don't give a shit mentality...And when u really do care it can really set u back a few steps on where u want to be or even thought u were. (if that makes any sense). So I have really takin the time to sit back and so some serious soul searching and we don't always like what we see, but I believe thats when ur on the right road when u can really look deep enough to c the good and the bad....So for this christmas, instead of thinking all about me, maybe i should find the real reason for the season and try to give more than i take...And maybe just maybe whoever is upstairs will guide me onto the next path I'm suppose to follow...So here's to u and here's to me, if ever we should disagree, fuck u and here's to me:) MERRY CHRISTMAS AND MAY EVERYONE EMBRACE THE NEW YEAR TO COME....BECAUSE THEY GO BY SO FAST:)

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hellbilly666
02:01 Dec 18 2009

i really like this, it makes alot of sense good job

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