MORMENTO MORI
“Remember the dead”
The first day a girl dies, with her head emptied out. Perhaps she had remembered the truth
The second day a girl dies, with her legs hacked off. Perhaps she had come near the truth
The third day a girl dies, with her ears cut off. Perhaps she had heard the truth
The fourth day a girl dies, with her eyes gouged out. Perhaps she had seen the truth
The fifth day a girl dies, with her tongue pulled out. Perhaps she had spoken the truth
The sixth day a girl dies, with her hands chopped off. Perhaps she had written the truth
The seventh day a girl is going to die. perhaps…..
Losing him was a dreadful heart breaking love shattered in millions of pieces floating above me, not disappearing nor seen. I felt like I was alone in a black hole, not daring to climb out. Love was the only pleasant and soothing part of my heart that was meant only for him. Soon I will be telling myself that I would never cry for another boy again.
I walked from school that afternoon; I was full of emotion with fear and angry bitterness. Winding up my mind with wonders of disappointment, making me sadder and more hurtful. The thought of evil and revenge was thirsting into my brain until I could not take it no more and cried.
My shoes were soaked, slapping on wet cement. The cold sky was clear blue with no gray clouds. Making my way across the street where cars would stop and let me by, at first I wanted to close my eyes while walking and hearing the car screech to a stop. I was pacing next to a school playground where there was a bench to watch the kids play, hoping I would feel calm and relaxed. I started to remember a time when my friends from high school. Seeing them passing by me with smiles on their faces made me fill up with happiness, like I want to be happy if someone is happy too.
Suddenly, I’m imagining of something blurry and gloomy, questioning why do I have to think of bad ways to hurt myself just because my day didn’t go the way I wanted it to. I have good friends who I see everyday.
I make myself remember a time when my friends were hanging out together acting out something that happen on the television, in a moment of daily life to me. Most important of all my friends who smile when they see me. I enjoy the smile of them. All I wanted was to be loved.
I looked at the children playing, roaring with grins on their faces. Rushing against each other so the first one can go down blue slides and ride the marry-go-round. Spinning as a tornado that will jump out and throw you on the hard rocky sand. Swinging in the air like upside down monkeys. Giving me a bad headache that ruined my walk to a woodened bench, laying their looking at the sky. I ignored the laughter and screams of kids.
Closing my mind, I’m in a quiet world where everyone is happy, not disappointed of their job with the same routine every day. “I have good friends” I said to myself randomly, thinking cheerfully. My dream is almost like heaven where I am special and everybody notices me, wearing white like a bright rosy cheek angel. With out knowing, I smile feeling happy. Everyone looks up at me and they are saying lovely words in mute. Seeing myself standing there with snow falling everywhere.
A cold icy flake hits my cheek and I slap it away, opening my eyes feeling light headed. Perhaps it is raining, not snow and gone children taking my smile with them. Walking home I remembered why I was sad. It was the smile of my friends that made me forget. And for a moment I enjoyed it.
COMMENTS
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Angelus
23:39 Apr 13 2008
wonderful imagery. gory. but wonderful.