I was with Mike Sutachi, thats all it counts. He bent down on one knee on the wet cold pavement and asked me to merry him and I sayed yes. Mike and me been together ever sence that saturday morning.
I still had tears in my eyes from that day. It was the best day in my whole life. Just wished it would of lasted a little longer.
That was a year ago sence mike puposed to me. I lay in bed that night thinking wat went wrong?..wat went wrong with us? why did it happen? I fell asleep that morning and woke up around 3:46pm. It was october 31st. The day i got married was on the 14th. I could still hear my cheerful family cheering me on as me and mike droved off in our new car. On the back window it sayed Just Married. Like i sayed before, it was the best day of my life. i could still hear mikes voice wen he came home. honey, im home! he'll say. as i ran up to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. he took off his coat and layed his suitcase in his office. i would be making him dinner and it would be done right wen he got home. but this time....i was sitting at the kitchen table..all alone...there was no dinner! there was no kiss, there was no mike!. "empty." is all i could say. i know i wasnt well. i was sick. i was drunk! i didnt need help. wat i needed, was a family. i looked at my hand. "tsk, tsk" i looked at the same old ring mike gaved me. i never took it off. he gaved me everything i need. he gave me a car. gaved me a house. gaved me happiness. and gaved me a life! now...now i have nothing. nothing at all. mike was nice enough to give me the house sence i had no where to go. but wat was a home without mike? where did all the love gone to? i just cant do it. i cant live without mike.
i took a glass from the shelf and opened the fridge. i looked right at the boozed and pulled out the milk. at first it sayed mike. but as my eyes adjusted it sayed milk in blue print. i sighed and lefted the fridge door open. i had a nice glass of milk, some toast and i grabed some cookies and left the housed. i walked down the steets of brooklyn, every place i looked, i remembered mike. at the gift shop, at the pet store, at a stop sign. me and mike went to every place. and not once was i able to go in those stores and go on with my life...seeing mike with another women. i just had to get mike back. but it was to late. he moved to N.Carolina. and i havent heard of him sence. i thought to myself. if i really loved him you would get on the plane. just go fine him. and then wat? say im sorry and that i wanted to be with him? that i wouldnt make him upset ever again? that he'd actually say he wanted to be with me and say every day a million times that he loved me? a tear rolled down my face. it wouldnt happen. it wouldnt be that easy. i thought about the day mike came home early and i was asleep. i was so tired from the fight we had that night, that id fallen asleep with out making dinner. i heard him walk into our room, took his shoes off, trieng not to wake me up he gave me a kiss on the forehead and later on he layed down next to me. not knowing i was wide awake ever sence i heard the front door open and closed. i knew it was him wen he layed his keys on the shelf and walked up stares. i heard mike breathing next to me. "mike? you still awake?" i turned around to see that he was already asleep. i was so pleased that he had tried to forget about our fight and the missing dinner. that i woke up early that morning to fix him a big breakfast. but i was so sad wen i awoke, he had left for work early. i made sure that that night there would be i big dinner for mike this time. but as 7:30pm became 12:20am. i sat at the table waiting for mike as he never came home. i was so mad that he missed breakfast and dinner. i decided to give him a special thanks wen he did come home.
a big thanks for not getting mad. but deep down inside i was so unhappy i went to bed leaving the food out the way it was. and fell asleep. i was awoken the next morning to nothing but silence. there was no mike. i climbed down stairs to fine a note saying: "Tez, im sorry but i had to leave you. i couldnt live like this anymore, everyday fighting over the same thing. i didnt want this to happen but im leaving to N.Carolina, and please dont fallow me. the divorce papers will be deliverd to you tomarrow around 2:10pm. ps.the dinner was great. this time you dont have to worry about making anymore dinners for me. i love you very much, and im sorry for wat i have done." tears rolled down my face as i tore up the note. why? how could he do this to me? why? why?.
a memory of 10-23-07
When I first saw Copper, he was sitting in a baby pin. Laying down slightly looking up as if he saw no one but only a gush or cold wind. He didn’t wag his tail or show any kind of greetings. He was just a puppy who saw strangers walk up to him. All I remember is seeing him directly in the eyes and he got up and I picked him up quickly. And carried him like a baby ever since. I have visions of walking into the dog groomer’s place and getting that waft of shampoo and cologne smell. And walking straight up to the baby pin and seeing his light brown fur. Of course since copper was a Irish Setter he would get darker as he grew up, and he did. Not almost a year old I remember sitting on the trampoline with him. The neighbors made him not focus. All I wanted to do was lie there with him. His head on my shoulder and sit up and look at the trees or a bird. I continue to stare at the sky. I smile, I’d tell him that I love him and we would be together wouldn’t we I would ask him. He’s just a dog, he wouldn’t understand if I was going away that next day or anything. It was just a perfect day, I didn’t think anything would happen to him. Even though I was emotional because one of Perdy’s pups got sick when Pebbles was still a pup. At least 6-8 months old. I wanted to take pictures of Boston a few days before that day on the trampoline. the next day Boston died three in the morning. Same day on the Trampoline. it was during the afternoon. I believe it was a Friday or on the weekend. when I sat with Copper. And the wind in my face. I can’t remember if it was cold or not. The next day Copper got sick as well. Ruined my mum’s carpet and bled everywhere. We kept him in his old kennel over night and took him to the emergency vet they kept him over night and that Saturday or Sunday I had cried because I was afraid he would die and Sunday mum came in to get me and told me Copper was dyeing. Driving to the vet again I heard copper yelping because he doesn’t like shots very much, and later we were moved to room where they brought copper in for us to see him and talk alone about a decision I didn’t want to make. I watched as the lady came in and mum nodded and she took copper’s leg and injected him with some liquid. Before this Copper had came straight to me and laid his head on my lap sitting beside me. I started crying when I saw Copper go straight blank and slowly lay down step by step.
I started really crying I didn’t want to but I couldn’t look away and watching made it worst. What I wanted to do was jump out my seat and say hug Copper while saying wait and stop and don’t do it! But it would have been to late anyways. Days after I would always remember Copper. Staring at his grave in our front yard. I’d tell him that Perdy and Lizy, Deno, Seshuwa, and Tsume missed him. And that I’d never forget him. And I loved him a thousand days and twice on Sundays. We got another Copper and I forget what the old Copper was like. I bet he is the twin or reincarnation. I cant say I like this one better. And I can never forgive my self for ever forgetting how Copper was like.
“you love me Copper, don’t you boy? I know you do.” I carry Copper off the Trampoline and he bounced out my arms and ran to the gate and jumped with glee and ran to the front door. I run with him and go straight to my room. I find him waiting for me on my bed with his head on his paw. He’d look up and I swear to god he smiled.
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