The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

~ Do Not Love Me Yet ~





Do not love me yet, for I

Am still a slender moon,

A scimitar about the heart

Too sharp to touch too soon.

Before I'm touched I need to grow

More full in golden light;

I need to smile upon my earth

And rule some patch of night.



I need to know what roads and fields

Lie in my domain

And dull my brand new ecstasies

With sophomoric pain.



I need the love of some blank boy

As cold and dark as me,

That we might grope in ignorance

And fear of what might be.



And then when I'm a silver bowl

And know what I can hold,

Then, then, perhaps, we could try love

If you are not too old.





~ It's Amazing How I Feel When I'm Around You ~



It's amazing how I feel when I'm around you,

How my heart pounds when you come into a room.

I look at you and think: My God! How lovely!

And everything I am bursts into bloom.

I feel as though you must, you must be mine,

Not as a possession but a goal,

Something almost unimaginable:

The free devotion of another soul.



As though I were about to enter heaven

Or just within the hour condemned to die,

My mind with one fierce thought keeps running over,

With you, and only you, the reason why.





~Your Eyes Won't Let My Thoughts Go Back to Sleep ~



Your eyes won't let my thoughts go back to sleep.

Your words draw me across 2000 miles.

I don't know you at all, and yet I know

You better than my friends of many years.

The days I spent with you are like a tape

I play, rewind, play, rewind, and play.

Whenever I remember something new,

I feel as though you touched me on the cheek.



I miss you as the grass awaits the wind,

Or as the morning sky awaits the sun.

Although I look for you in every doorway,

I find only the darkness in my heart.





~ A Teenage Girl's First Crush ~





A teenage girl's first crush is . . . well, crushing.

Her body isn't hers, nor is her mind.

She finds herself shivering, shaking, blushing,

Weak, tormented, sick, and going blind.

And why? Because some guy might look her way,

Then cast his eyes as quickly to the ground;

Some special one, for reasons she can't say,

Whose voice makes her feel faint when he's around.

But now my crush on you has been returned,

And so the two of us stand on some brink:

It can't be love so young, and yet we've learned

Love does its will, no matter what we think.

Slowly, slowly now--we mustn't rush:

Let's enjoy this first sweet teenage crush.







~ I Don't Expect You Soon to Love Me ~



I don't expect you soon to love me,

Nor are my own feelings clear.

Passion is the ornate entrance

To a world we crave and fear.

We cannot know where this will take us,

Nor whether we will ride for long,

But pleasure is the overture

That flows into the larger song.



So come with me with open mind

And heart, and we the time will prove

With laughter and with joy unfettered,

And, perhaps, someday with love.





~ Be Gentle: What You're Holding Is My Heart ~



Be gentle: What you're holding is my heart.

Remember in your honesty my pride.

If you don't want to see me, please don't hide

The truth, yet tell it with some art.

Though you may not have asked for me to call,

A single leap of hope must be allowed.

Not easily are shy songs sung out loud.

Yet now I wait alone outside your wall.







~ I Know I Hardly Know You ~



I know I hardly know you,

But I think that I may love you.

You can see the way I look at you

And know.

I know you have a girlfriend,

But I think we can be happy,

So take the time to find out

If it's so.



I know we don't have much time,

But I think it's just enough;

If you'd like to take a chance on me,

Let's go!





~I Know Well I Have No Right to Love You ~





I know well I have no right to love you:

I gave you up, and now you're with my friend.

But I can't stop myself from thinking of you,

Even though that's not what I intend.

I want you but I also don't want you

To hurt my friend by breaking up with her.

So things go wrong no matter what you do;

I long for what I don't want to occur.

Ah, me! I'm in a soap and can't get out!

Help me if you can by being kind.

I tell you this to banish any doubt

That I'll be waiting, if you're so inclined.

But please, please, if my friend still has your love,

Forget completely what I've spoken of.





~How Can I Have a Fight with My Best Friend ~





How can I have a fight with my best friend?

The mountain blows, the landscape is destroyed.

A desert where there once were fields and gardens.

Black lava where flowers once brought joy.

And then shoots of grass come through the blackness;

Slowly love asserts itself again.

He calls, I cry, we go through days of whispers,

And fields once more grow lush in sun and rain.



Ah! but now I'm fearful of the mountain:

I walk by trembling, set for it to blow.

Life's beautiful, but also very painful;

I have the strength to love, now that I know.





*I Do Not Want This Poem to Go Too Deep*



I do not want this poem to go too deep.

It's premature, and love's too far away.

But there are things I feel the need to say

Rather than more days of silence keep.

I hope for you it's not too great a leap

To hear me talking to you in this way.

My fears sometimes my sentiments betray,

Telling me to put my thoughts to sleep.

Ever since we met I've thought of you

As something more than just a passing friend.

You seem so lovely, like a melody

That haunts me with the wisp of something true.

You haunt me still, and so I won't pretend:

I tell you this that you might think of me.



* I Don't Know How We Get into These Fights*



I don't know how we get into these fights.

After them I look back at the ashes

More shocked than hurt, as when a light plane crashes,

Slanting numb through strange, unearthly lights.

Oh, how I wish I could get off that plane

Rushing to its rendezvous with tears!

Rage is but a mask for my shy fears.

Yet I would die before I caused you pain.







*I Love Them Both, Can't Have Them Both*



I love them both, can't have them both.

It's tearing me apart!

My former joy and present boy:

Both have got my heart.

I have to choose, so I must lose

Someone I really love.

It feels like dirt that I must hurt

A guy that I dream of.



Why this must be I cannot see;

I only know I must.

Each might endure, for I am sure

That this is love, not lust.



I weep and wail to no avail;

I can't say no to either.

But if I can't tell what I want,

Could that mean I want neither?



*Romeo and Juliet *



Remember not the pathos of our plight

Or the tears of our too-youthful end.

Mourn us not, for we became a light,

Eden shining still through deathless night,

On all who first pure love would comprehend.

Judge us not, although we chose to die,

Undone by beauty such as few have known,

Love so perfect one could not reply

In words less meteoric than its own.

Each life must wend its way towards death and pain.

Though we died young, our story will remain.





*I Hate You, Dad, for What You Did *



I hate you, Dad, for what you did

To me when I was just a child,

A helpless thing whom you could beat

Until the excess bile was drained.

To me, when I was just a child,

You were God unmerciful

Until the excess bile was drained

And you were once again my friend.



You were God unmerciful,

And I was Satan, Lord of Hell,

Until you were again my friend

And curdled my last drops of love.



And I was Satan, Lord of Hell,

A helpless thing whom you could beat

Until you curdled all my love.

I hate you, Dad, for what you did.





*Can't You See? Don't You Care *



Can't you see? Don't you care

I want to die?

Don't you listen? Can't you hear

My silent cry?

Won't you turn? Can't you hold

Me to your heart?

Are you afraid of what might follow

Once you start?



Would you rather not believe

I'm in such pain

That all your sense and good advice

Must be in vain?



Would you rather tell yourself

I'll be OK,

And all this adolescent angst

Will go away?



Ah! Would I also swim across

This lake alone!

But if you cannot swim with me,

I know I'll drown.





*A Father and a Dad Are Not the Same *



A father and a dad are not the same:

One can be a dad and not a father,

Or one can be a father and not bother

To earn through love the more endearing name.

Some find fatherhood a bit too tame,

Leaving all the details to the mother,

Or dumping the sweet burden on another

Man with just a passing twinge of shame.

You have been our dad so many years

That you've become the landscape that is home,

The mountain that we look to from afar.

No matter where we go we're not alone,

For you remain within to still our fears

And be the word that tells us who we are.





* Thank You for Your Friendship and Your Love *



Thank you for your friendship and your love.

However life may turn, this gift will be

A mountain that has made my river bend,

Nor will it flow the same way to the sea.

Knowing you is something I'm made of.

Years will not this part of me remove.

One lives for just a brief eternity,

Understanding truths that never end.