The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Controlling,

All consuming,

A passion to detest

And hate the insides

Of us mortal creatures

Tears flowing down our bodies

Collecting in puddles

Only fear could reduce us to this



Revelations will come true

If only we can be saved

Writing our own prophecies as we go

There is no end

To the rope that binds us

Psychology working its way

From deep down inside of me

Trying to distort me to religion



Bathing, much to the attraction

Of the high order in holy water

Desperate attempt to save myself

From what I have done

Always wondering what resulted in this

Sickening fest of delight

In which I am regressed back to childhood

To forgo my sins



Like a bird of prey swooping down to feast

On my naked soul, cast open as a result of

The acidic liquids I was cleansed in

Embracing all that I have left

Determined to never let go of my hate

And simple understandings of how I work

Fear is my one true motivator

Keeping me sane, never letting me slow down



Forever trying to escape

From the things I hold dear

Asking questions but

Never receiving answers

Trying to map my soul

Through sessions of therapy

Indifference is a skill

That is all I know



Trepidation sinks in

Forcing us to look within at

Our cold, dark hearts

And realize the pain we have caused

Burnt alive by the

Fear inside of us

Wandering in daze or emptiness

Confusion about what my purpose is

A question plagues my mind

Overwhelming passion to consume

Those around me that I hold dear

As close as I can without

Getting physically attached

Revelations are all I know

Of what in the future

Will come and go

Freely without making any sounds at all

One ruling body for the whole world

Everyone becomes the same

Recognised only by a number

No more such things as names



Everybody constantly following

Whatever orders are given

No body thinking for themselves

Illusion is a drug of choice

Propaganda is the only commercial

That is viewed, or even created

Apparently all our wars are over

There is no racism any more

Everyone is treated as one

The sight is truly sickening

Everything is controlled and operated

By the government, which in turn

Is controlled by a machine

Spewing out orders every minute

Only resting when out of ink



There is no hope anymore

Nothing to look forward to

This existence now has no more meaning

Then it did 1000 years ago ‘cept

Back then you could live your own life

Manipulation is how this has all come about

Corruption of the ones in charge

Deception, defamation and conceit

No longer are people shallow

Love in fact ceases to exist

Relationships are programmed

Each time a baby is born

Random selection between 20 million souls

Is how you will meet your partner

Appearances are deceiving



Disillusion is an epidemic

That spreads to fast to comprehend

When one loses sight of things

No one lends a hand

Disheartening to see the future

Being played like a game

Of chess, machine verse human

Each player taking turns until it is over

And one then hands over it’s way of life

We lost many years ago

Not only our society

But also our identities



Even in order, there is chaos

Even in uniformity, individuality still exists

Even in respect, there is still resent

Even in this perfect world,

There is still disarray

A sense of loneliness overwhelming

Now because I'm dead

The only way to end

The voices inside my head

Cut open from head to toe

Razorblade wounds

The only way for me to go

About ending this prevailing doom



Weeks of preparation

For the imperative event

Neglecting all the juvenile celebrations

Visiting the dentist

Every single day

When telling what I wanted

The doctor had nothing to say

Just do the job and you will be rewarded



Stutter wounds were not in attendance

On my now cast-open wrists

Forever knowing what must be done

But still the pain was a bitch

Sudden fear of malfunction

Creeps into the subconscious

Feet losing all traction

Pathetic is now how I suffer



Excruciating pain

Point of origin – my wrists

The destination – my brain

Ohh…I can’t wait for this to be over

Killer instinct reigning supreme

All around me is ethereal

Perhaps now in a dream

Once more till it’s all over



Two separate chunks of soft tissue

Adorn the area around my feet

Puddles of secreted blood

Fall to my knees I'm feeling weak

Wrists now non-existent

Is this how I should feel?

It takes great persistence

But when upon arrival,

They all must feed



Ripping through flesh

Until bones are visible

Do this all correctly

Or forever a cripple

Did you come here just to die?

If so splatter your veins

And hold them up to the sky

Fangs brushing against angelic necks

So much surface area to choose from

Decisions are plaguing my mind

The initial penetration sends jets

Of searing hot acid

Hissing, rearing its soulless way

Into the core of the human soul



Transmitting a venereal “disease” creates

A sense of foreboding in the victim

Senses tingling, not sure what gift,

They are about to receive,

Everlasting life or instantaneous death?

The contents are unimportant

A gift is a gift nevertheless



A river collecting at the base of the spine

Consisting of her salty sweat and tears as

She realizes what is coming about

Don’t make me do this – don’t struggle and shout

Now slowly suffering at the hands

Of a different kind of bondage

To what anyone has experienced before



Almost like a ritual which is undertaken daily

Filing back the pearlescent bones

Which reside on my face

Teeth connecting with skin yet not being held back

By the trivial toughness it offers

Severing arteries with the first strike

Raising open palms up to the sky

And seeking acceptance



Hope sparkles in the corners of her eyes

No idea that she’s about to die

Stab her gently (don’t let her cry)

Even through death maintain

Your sense of kindness

Look at her face and tell her she’s your princess

Paralyzed by strange feelings

Ones I never have felt before

A voice screaming inside my head

Tells me to run and go through the door

To embrace anything that lies ahead

But for now, I’m

Too scared to understand



Blood pumping faster and faster

Till I feel like im about to explode

Its times like these I wish

I never left my humble home

Don’t know what I did

To deserve any of this

The only thing I know right know i



Strange looks from everyone

I'm passing on the street at night

Seeing some crazy man

Running for all his might

Past so-called innocents

Who have nothing

To do with his condition



Psychosomatic Terror

The most primitive of thoughts

Enter my cerebral cortex

Run! My body screams

Again and again but to no avail

This terror is one you cannot escape

And so the fight is one that you never will win

Suffocating, this guilt

Pressing down on my heart,

Wanting to confess,

Not knowing where to start.

Last time I did,

Ended up in shit,

Now I’m making plans,

To get out of here.

Running hard,

But not moving at all,

Things seem so tall,

I’m accordingly small.

Emotion is a nightmare

Which I never escape from

Always feeling pain

For all the spoil I’ve done



Betrayed by those that you trust

You thought they were the ones

But find some new prey you must

Barring your naked psyche

To their open eyes, observing

All your hopes, dreams and secrets

Emanating from

Your chest to your open thighs

Scrutinizing every movement,

Every sentence, every word

That gets uttered by the body

That is no longer yours.

You no longer are in control

Someone else pulls the strings

Publish all of their findings

Bind them into a book



Last time I ever try

To let anyone understand,

Me and my insides.

Already revealed too much

About possible plans

For the outlook that is

Slowly shaping up to be

Spent cold and lonely

In a casket buried in the darkest corner

Each day the event is getting closer