The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

* "Enterprise, this is Kirk." (Captain Kirk)

* "Spock here, Captain." (Spock)

* "Bridge here, Captain."

* "Transporter room ready to beam up."

* "Bridge, this is the captain." (Captain Kirk)

* "Enterprise to Mr. Spock."

* "Captain, shall I beam down an armed party?"

* "Scotty here, Captain." (Scotty) I am just going to the toilet brb

*"Igor here, touching buttons oops ....system failure need manual, need manual, response requested, response requested oh dear ooops beam up mode failure, emergency, emergency.

*"Igor here, calling Doc ... i have a problem we lost the armed party in beam up

*"Doc they could be lost forever in some alternative universe, press the back up button before shutdown

*"Igor aye where's that ....beep beep beep ... shutdown commences in 20 seconds ...20 seconds and counting

*"Igor i think you should come quick doc ... doc are you there ?

*"Doc yes i will have to save them ,oh no, oh no i have 10 secconds till shutdown

*"Igor ooops sorry ... sorry doc can i help ?

*"Doc ... no stand in the corner

*"Igor .... you have to press back up like on the sky tv remote ... you know ?

*Doc ok just stay in the corner while i press back up .... keep out the way back to the corner igor and stay still over there

*Igor ... will you teach me beam up procedure later ? i want to make captain one day : )

*"Doc ... maybe later but that was a close call ... tell zulu to get here quick, we need to authorise correct personel to operate this procedure correctly in the future by putting a code into the system

*Igor ... ok doc affirmative, that was a close call ... oops

*Captain Kirk .."Enterprise, this is Kirk what happened to the procedure ? we were beaming down in the armed party

*Doc .... Scotty was on the toilet so igor took control and then called me to say there was a fault in the beam procedure, it's all sorted now we are entering a restriction code in the system ... good prgress for the enterprise

*Kirk ... yes what a great idea, let's get this party on it's way in 10 minuites ... call scotty