this is the beginning, Souleater-intro
18:08 May 17 2007
Times Read: 496
Left to wallo in my own misery that I have created, no joy, no happyness just unending, excrutiating pain the likes of which I have never experienced. Imagine if you will the pain of being peeled like an apple over and over and done to every single part of your body. There would be no break from this pain, no relief, no wishful thinking or praying this was only a nitemare, only pain that for some reason you just know will never ever end. What have I done to earn such a fate, why am I hear to suffer? Who did I piss off, who did I lose a bet to? I am here because I took my own life, apparently I have sinned and did the worst thing imaginable. In a setting you only see in a really good movie, perhaps a family film was my existance until I went and screwed it all up. I was never really happy with just getting by in order to take care of my family, so instead I decided to work for those unsavory characters who would aquire financial independants through verbal means, or simple kicken the hell outta people for protection money. While working for these classy entrepreneurs I was asked to do some pretty amazingly demented things, never bothered by it though I have a strong stomoch. For nearly a year I was more or less an errand boy, till one cold morning I was asked to wack some guy who refused to pay his dues. Hell I was honored, speechless is a better way of saying it. I was given a picture of the guy and immediately froze. All that day before I was supposed to wack this guy I told myself that I have to get the hell outta this at all cost. That evening at a small pow-wow I made it quite clear that I couldn’t wack the guy, I mean not because I couldn’t kill, but because I couldn’t kill THIS guy. Ohhh so you think you get to pick and choose who we tell you to wack asked the boss? No sir I said..it’s just that the guy is my grandfather, I can’t kill my grandfather. The boss said, yeah I didn’t think you had the balls to do it so we did it ourselves. That fat son of a bitch killed my grandfather and chuckled about it as if it was so fact of the matter. Just then I pulled my piece and put a bullet in him, only a second later I was drilled by a volley of assorted bullets, forty-fives, thirty-eights, and lets not forget the lovely forty-four mag. Like swiss cheese I was filled to the brim with hot lead, to add insult to injury these weak, pathetic pieces of garbage murdered my wife and daughters. Dragged out to an old crack house they chopped me up like salad. I saw my fingers flying along side my toes, like a chinese cook making chop-sue. Believe this if you like, but I never felt so much as a little sting. After my family had been slaughtered I never felt much of anything anymore. Dumped back home in literal pieces I was still to upset to feel pain, but pain was not my goal. My second piece that I couldn’t pull in time was used to finish the job, since there was no way in hell I was gonna live like this without my family. A pull of a trigger and that was that, assuming by ending it all would somehow lead me to a better place I apparently was in the wrong frame of mind at that moment. I know that this may come off a little sick or evil sounding, but the horrible pain after my suicide was nearly welcomed next to the first two minutes after finding out what those sick bastards had done to my family. Do I regret what I had done to myself? In a way I guess, but for the most part not at all. To describe my surroundings here in the abbys is a bit difficult, I thought the evil side of the here after would be much more populated. It’s like going to school and finding out that schools closed due to snow, vacant and deserted is what this place is. I see memorys of the past and not to far past. Maybe a year or so ago, but why this memory? Ohhh I get it now, this is nearly the moment when I chose crime over my family. Had I knew then what I know now, blah, blah, blah…and so on. Apparently when sentenced to the abbys, or in my case chose willingly you get to be bored to death. No wait, you get to be bored to death as well as watch home movies starring yourself. Man this is gonna be one hell of etrernity. The setting is of my house, without my family to be burdened and lonely for….. You have to be kidding me, apparently aside from moments I get to relive the death of myself as well as my family. Damnit the hell I can’t shut my eyes, what the hell, I don’t want to see this garbage!! Over and over I watch as my family is murdered and can’t do one damn thing about it, as it begins to become more than I can possibly take the memorys change to the day my daughters were born, adding salt to the wound. Memorys of the good to remind me of what I have given up. Memorys of bad to remind me of the things I cannot change, and so on and so forth I am emotionally tortured by the things I hold near and dear to my heart. It would have been much better had they just burnt me alive over and over, but no such luck. Everytime I see the memorys of there deaths, inside it is though it is the first time seeing it. In order to torture those in the abbys, physical pain only pales in comparrison to the hurt felt when your heart is tore out over and over for eternity. I wander here and there thinking I could somehow avoid the visions of murder, then like an idiot I actually think I can escape the abbys. Yeah I know escaping the abbys like it was a regular jail or something. I am left to the worst nitemarish visions and screams heard from my daughters. No matter where I run, even when not seeing the visions I hear screams that slice my insides to bits. My daughters and wife had suffered because being a mob guy appealed to me, whats worse is that they never knew what I ever did. They thought I was a regular buisness man. In essance I killed them, not by my hands but because of the greed I had for making a buck. More figures approach probably to torture me more, maybe what I have been put through was just a taste.( figures that by all rights have no buisness in the abbys, which asks the question ``do they allow visitors in the abbys like in prison’’ they seem a bit over dressed to do some site seeing. There are three of them and by the robes im assuming it’s some religion or cult. Cult ..no my dear human we are here to make you a proposition.( they heard my thoughts, but how? ) we are Ancients and have abilitys like none you have ever known, reading minds is just one grain of sand in the endless beach of our abilitys. Hmm? No offence or disrespect intended but, … NO we may have countless abilitys, but it does NOT go to our heads as you so kindly thought. Ooook, well this has all been fun and all but I gotta get back to being tortured so…you apparently are not aware of what we are proposing, my opologies we keep forgetting you can not read minds like us. There is a great evil in the universe that if allowed to roam and take souls will sooner or later turn the balance of good and evil. So what is it you want from me? The proposal is simple, we want you to inhabit the evil that has been set loose upon this universe. Uhhh ok lemme get this straight, im inside this…thing and im supposed to do what exactly. You are to attempt to sway any evil actions or thoughts of harming any entitys. When you say im going to be inside, uhh this creature..by that you mean? Your soul will merge with the creatures soul, the beast will not know that we have placed anything or anyone in his body. Once merged you can influince him by way of suggestions, visions and memorys. The creature will simply assume he’s having harmless visions or memorys. Ok so whats in it for me? If successful we will trasport you to the place innocents go when they die, meaning you will join your familys souls to exist in peace for all eternity.( tears rolls down the face of someone who thought the abbys would be the proper place for him to reside, never seeing his beloved family again.) Whatever it takes, no matter the journey I WILL do whats nessassary to be with my family…anything. Then we are off.
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