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dianacelestina's Journal



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1 entry this month
 

Another entry, mood-ah, not so wonderful

22:06 Oct 07 2005
Times Read: 706


At every glance it seems that I'm meant to be alone, even when I have a boyfriend mind you.. Urgh, the guy just won't give up..I believe I've broken it off seven times already...I tend to do that when I'm unsure. I'm very good at helping others who are alone, sad, depressed, and love sick however I myself have been incorportating this for half a decade and slowly forgotten about my own being. Forgetting myself and hiding behind an ever present mask, which has another beneath it and another..lol.. I live every hour as a masquerade and mean it. I'm extremely introverted and to some I may seem like I'm shy, I'm not, I am merely thinking, observing, contemplating, or plotting. It's hard to think of me plotting for most of my friends, but I suprise them. Friends, ah the few that listen are wonderous, however a good majority forget or use me for advice. Ego bosts, all that jazz.. Ah, ego..Some people have enough for an air plane full of people while others have none. I'm not perfect, I'm very smart and try to do my best in everything, but my ego is ..changeable. Have you ever been afraid to die alone? I do fear it, dying alone, sad, with tons of cats. That old woman who sits all alone for her entire life. LOL, knowing me I'll eventually find my anam cara..I do believe that.. and then when I get old I'll be a spunky old lady, with a smart arse mouth.


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