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so ive found myself as so many do, in an argument with a few friends. the same two from a journal entry or so ago. they and i had a disagreement on weather someone else deserved death. however it has trickled down to other things. you see the issue at hand is that i called one of the two naive. and i stand by that statement, with the amendment that i am also incredibly naive about a number of things. nevertheless, i said what i said. today it started with a post i made on facebook. i called a few people out for being sad about a musician that just died of a drug overdose, but having just been making fun of demi lovato for almost dying of the same thing. my friend made a status that to my eyes appeared to be one of those passive agressive posts where they dont want to name you, and dont want to confront you, but they are talking about you in an open way so that they have the final word. so i went ahead and commented and defended my point of view, not even rudely i might add. that turned into the typical facebook drama festival that i was stupid enough to get sucked into. however here is where it gets interesting to me. rather then be called out on the actual post, with the exception of saying that if the shoe fits i should wear it, they began jumping down my throat about anything and everything concerning any dissagreement they might have with me, none of which they were ever man enough to say to my face. thats why i am upset. its not what they said, its that they saw a problem and couldnt be a real friend and tell me. and so instead one of them told me i have a God complex. when i replied " i dont have a god complex, go look that one up" the other jumps on me with the " your calling her stupid" routine. its all a bunch of drama. stupid, high school, drama. im way too old for this bullshit. but these were supposed to be my friends. furthermore, i cant get them to show up on time to anything. i get a text saying hey we should all go out to eat at 7. my girlfriend and i are there at 645-700 and they show up at 730 to 800. and most of what they do is gossip to each other about other people not in the room,a and we dont actually engage much with them. i dont mind too much, i just offer advice where i can, but i feel like the advice i give is just pissed away. its unwanted. because the mistakes being made are round 30 of the same mistake, ive come to decide that they want the attention. now apparently i have been making jokes that offended one of them. however they never told me. and when confronted on this post about it, i apologized, and then asked exactly what jojke it was (i never got a straight answer) they told me i should have known how bad said jokes would upset them. the reality is, i dont hang with this person often enough to really know what makes them tick. you cant smoke weed, drink, hang around generaly sketchy people and then when i use meth as a substitute for the word cool (yes that is literaly the joke that offended everyone) all of a sudden ie crossed a line? i should have thought better to be fair. and i have sincerely apologzed multiple times. however the biggest accusation im upset about was just a flat out lie to make me look like an idiot. to back up the God complex comment, they accused me of saying "i am God" and i am a rockstar. now granted, both were said in the most sarcastic rediculous way in a context that was meant to poke fun at an old band mate who really did act like he thought he was a rockstar. yet here we are, with a comment like that taken completely out of context to be shitty to me. i dont have a God complex. i have an inferiority complex. i might hide that well enough from some, but i legitimately feel like everyone i interact with has it better then me, and that i need to pick up the pace, and that im not doing as good as someone else. having said that, i am aware that some of the things i am imensly proud of probably sound a little arrogant in conversation. i try my best not to make it sound that way, but i guess you cant change how people choose to hear things. this is why i dont have many friends. im done hanging out with new people. im tired of people trying to drag me down. if they choose so, then i will leave them be and we will go separate ways. i have admited my wrings to them, and apologised, and all ive gotten are more comments about how i should have done another thing, or comments provoking an angry response. they dont want me to be an adult about this. they want the angry response and they havent gotten it. but anyway, as i said that is my mental decompress for right now. theres plenty more on my chest, but i am not ready to talk about all of it at the present time. until next time everyone.