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forgive me dear friends. i often disapear from view for a period of time.as much as i crave the company of others and the attention of like mended and same interested individuals, i find that solitude cries out for me in the night, begging me to return to the depths. and so i often do. i wonder now as i write this, with the sweet melancholy of the Moonlight Sonata playing in the background, if one day somebody will remember me by my own music. if so i often wonder if they will think of me as a genius, or a mediocre man with limited talent. all of this and more i thin k on daily, for in two months time, i will set out to record my first album. as exciting as this is, im terrified. what does the future hold for me? where do i go from here? how do i continue and not waste my time or effort? perhaps God will reveal this all to me in time. for now i will be content to be at peace and listen to the beautiful sonata. until next time my friends. perhaps it wont be as late as this one was. tommorow maybe? or perhaps the day after? who can tell. you must take each day as it passes, and so too shall i.

there are some days where i can almost think that i am happy.its not something that happens often. so i cherish it. its as if for a brief, minuscule moment in the breath of eternity, that everything i have said, done, and wanted my whole life suddenly halted in their respective tracks and were made clear to me. and all in a beautiful organized synchronized harmony.it felt for a moment as though i could be content. perhaps its the news i received. i scheduled an appointment to record my EP. perhaps in doing so i feel as though i will have reached a level that means something. ive done things in my life that many never get to do. but despite my deepest desire not to take for granted the gits that God has granted me in this life, i find myself unsatisfied and wanting more. its only human i know. but perhaps i want to be more then human. i wish there was a way to progress and not have to feel as though i was somehow doing so in vanity. one day perhaps all will be clear to me. perhaps i simply overthink this all. but until such a day arrives i will take pleasure in my intermittent, and rather brief moments of pseudo happiness i glean from self reflection. until next time my friends.