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spending Christmas alone
08:59 Dec 25 2017
Times Read: 355

spending Christmas alone this year. my family has no further need of me. you see its almost disgusting to have to say it like that. whats the story here? well lets start from the beginning, back to the last week of May. i met a girl a few months prior (march) and finally decided to go meet her in person. i drove my brand new GTO 1200 miles to arizona to see this girl and spend a week there. the relatives i shared a house with were moving, as was i. they moved across state, and i moved to a new house in town. my brother in law wanted to say another goodbye before he moved, even though i was gonna stop through to their house on the way back, but i told him i had a time crunch, so if he didnt get ahold of me before a certain time i was ging to be asleep. i work overnights, so i spent all day sleeping, woke up right before work, and i drive 30 to work mind you, so i left from work after a 10 hour shift, and hit the road. my brother was told for weeks what the plan was but some how he didnt seem to understand why in his mind i "didnt say goodbye". so he told me he didnt want to speak anymore. pretty petty if you ask me. he made a comment that went something to the effect of " i see what we really mean to you" now im not going to go into all the things ive done for the family or anything because im not one to brag about stuff like that. you help family. thats all there is to it right? but that comment wasnt called for. later on through the months, his son, a 17 year old that they signed into my custody for THEIR convenience, began telling me some of the things that his dad was saying. i wont get into any of it here. but im basically worthless. just like that. now let me put this into perspective for you. his dad and i were very close. so for him to toss me aside like this is rediculous. theres another big part that came about a month an a half ago, but i might get into that another time. but he did something that i wont forgive. ME. the guy who just said you do what you can for your family, and i never want to see the man again. his son recently turned 18, and we dont seem to talk much either. if your not new to my journal, you know already that i possess empathic abilities. and im definitely picking up on the negativity he is projecting at me, even though i dont think hes aware of it. he talks politley, but doesnt engage me much at all. he challenges me on anything he can because he wants to be right. typical teenager stuff yes, but this all got worse when his dad and i got into it. i feel alone now more then ever. my family are all done with me now. now that im not paying half their rent i dont have a use to them. i dont get phone calls, nor do i expect them. i didnt hear from them thanksgiving, and i dont expect to today either. so to all of you who celebrate alone this year, to all of you with family issues, i say, that you are not alone. and that someone cares. if i could take this pain away from you i would. i will eave you with that, merry christmas my friends. sorry the topic wasnt a happier one. but then again, are my entries ever happy? i half wonder if they ever will be.

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